You always have more choices

Post #39,348 by ben_tilly 5/20/02 9:47:05 PM Reply	You always have more choices You are convinced that there is nothing you could have done differently, nothing you can do now, and you feel there is nothing you can do. Inthane I can feel for. He is at the beginning of his career, things fcked up, he tried, but even so he sees that he still has choices like get into shape and become a firefighter, or go through bankruptcy proceedings. (And he even prioritizes his choices appropriately - he doesn't want to go bankrupt.) If he carries on like he is going right now, I don't know what he will be doing in 10 years, but he will be OK. I can't feel for you because a long time ago I learned the damned hard way that you cannot do anything for people who are not willing to take responsibility for their own life. I don't see that willingness. Yeah, you made bad choices. You fucked up. That happens. What are you doing about it now? Are you getting into shape? Have you written a program lately? Do you have any possibly employable skills outside of programming you could work on? Or are you hoping for the lottery while you watch wrestling on TV? I have seen people succeed like you wouldn't believe. And every single case I know* will happily tell you that their ability to deal with failure has been critical for their eventual successes. I am telling you that you have positive choices you can make. What they are I don't know since I don't know your situation. But I am morally convinced that they exist if you start creating the opportunities needed to find them. And conversely if you walk around feeling that things are hopeless, opportunities will close up when you get near. Really. However it seems to be more comfortable for you to fail and feel that there is nothing you can do about failing. That is your choice. And now that I have just vented some frustration over Barry wasting his time with you, my choice will be to exit this thread. Because I don't think that you are listening. Regards, Ben "... I couldn't see how anyone could be educated by this self-propagating system in which people pass exams, teach others to pass exams, but nobody knows anything." --Richard Feynman
Post #39,403 by orion 5/21/02 1:42:41 PM Reply	What I have been doing mostly is looking for another job. Other things I have been doing is watching my son, spending time with my wife, helping her clean the house, and working out at the YMCA with the 4 month trial I got there. I have designed the scematics for programs in a paper notebook of mine, I am scetching down ideas. I am trying to get a virtual server set up behind my firewall to show my ASP skills to the outside world, see the Network forum. It hurts me to hear you say I am not taking responsibility, because you don't know me that well and don't know what I have been doing. Everything I have done so far has blown up in my face or hasn't made any results. Sometimes I feel like why should I even bother? But that is the depression talking, and I am still trying to shake it off. Remember that my depression is creating the negative thoughts, I wish I could control it, like there was a button I could press to turn it off, but no such button exists. My health and job situations do not help at all to the depression it just makes it worse. I cannot avoid the negative thoughts any more than a diabetic can create their own insulin or a blind person can see. You may never understand this unless like me you have been clinically depression for a few years or more and cannot get rid of it. A friend of mine had it as bad as me, maybe worse, but he did find a cure, it involved a shotgun and his head. *I am free now, to choose my own destiny.*
Post #39,448 by inthane-chan 5/21/02 8:45:09 PM Reply	The Public Face versus The Private Face. I think I know where some of the problem is - it's in what you choose to reveal here. If you go through and look at your posts, I'm pretty safe in saying that 90% of your posts here about your current situation can be summed up as "My life sucks, I'm losing everything, and I'm going to kill myself." Now, note I said the word POSTS. You may be doing a lot about it, but that's not the face you show here. Since you don't show that face here, it's hard for us to see that part of you, and so we assume you're just whining your head off. InThane - Now running Ashton rev 2.0
Post #39,466 by orion 5/22/02 12:11:32 AM Reply	I am doing what I can to survive #1 Got the YMCA Trial Membership and using it. #2 In Design mode for some programs I am working on. Trying to get a Virtual Server set up to show off my ASP skills. #3 I'm spending more time with the wife and son. #4 Only stress I have is looking for a job. #5 Coping with my depression, which leads to some negative thoughts. But I am trying to overcome them. #6 Unemployment has me barely getting by, runs out in 12 weeks. #7 I'm setting up a small Intranet at home. If I can download it, I'll have a Red Hat 7.3 Server. I have old Pentium 1 systems from systems that I upgraded for other people a long time ago. Enough to slap in a network card. Windows 2000 Server, Windows 98SE, Windows 95 OSR2, OS/2 WARP 3, and soon Linux for a total of 5 machines networked. I got switch box to share four of them on the same monitor, keyboard, and mouse. The major problems are the lack of a job, the depression, and some health issues. *I am free now, to choose my own destiny.*

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