Post #148,010
3/23/04 9:47:46 PM
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yer purpose is to suck air until you quit
its what to do while waiting that seems to be problematic, start gambling degeneratively, drive the bike around East St Louis flying the st andrews cross. Knock over drug dealers for beer money, when contemplating your navel turns injurious, find something else to injure, lotta deserving thugs out there.
thanx,
bill
In Bush\ufffds America, fighting terrorism abroad is used as a pretext for vanquishing civil liberties at home. David Podvin
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #148,068
3/24/04 2:27:35 AM
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Re: yer purpose is to suck air until you quit
This is an interesting point - why not just run amok if you are going down anyway? I've been confronted by this issue repeatedly so I've thought a lot about it.
1) I just can't - it's not something I can do. It would have to be in defense of something. I suppose the values of civilization are so important to me that I'd rather go out quietly than violate them. There is no point to living as a human if there is nothing to live for. Life is more than being alive.
2) I wouldn't enjoy stolen money - even to eat. It would not be worth it.
3) Failing at life so completely that you can't even keep a roof over your own single head is so shameful that there is too much apathy after a time to give a damn. All one is left with is fear of being dirty and cold. Hunger doesn't worry me nor thirst (there are always places to get water). But being dirty and cold scares me to death.
Therefore when the time comes I will jack an entire syringe of the best heroin I can score for my last $500 into my arm. I will not leave a mess for the EMTs to clean up.
-drl
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Post #148,096
3/24/04 8:59:12 AM
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last $500?
when you get to the last $500, go to Vegas with it. Spend 150 on round trip, 60 on a room, 100 on a hooker, Gamble a 100 spend 40 on a meal and a jug, watch all the interesting lights, go home with 50 get a job changing oil at a local dirty sanchez franchise. Think you are overtired, drink kefir for a couple of days.
thanx,
bill
In Bush\ufffds America, fighting terrorism abroad is used as a pretext for vanquishing civil liberties at home. David Podvin
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #148,098
3/24/04 9:21:13 AM
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Re: last $500?
I can't get hired for a "Joe" job - I've tried again and again. I don't know how you do these things, but they don't work for me.
-drl
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Post #148,115
3/24/04 10:36:06 AM
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There is work if you look for it
SBC was hiring people to promote their DSL at different shops. All the person needed to do was learn enough about DSL to talk to vendors into reselling it for SBC. Just go visit the shops, talk to owners, and managers, and get them to sell/resell SBC DSL. There was a consulting company doing the hiring. It should be an easy job for you if you can find the consulting company doing the hiring. Maybe SBC can give you more info on that?
Or check with the colleges, your Math and Science backgrounds can get you a job there. After all, you did get a paper published. Maybe you can be a Teacher's Assistant for Phsyics? No need to wear a suit, dockers and a polo shirt should be fine at a college. Maybe you can get free tuition and work on getting another degree? See if the college computer labs need help.
I have to explore options that are non-computer related. I have creativity, so I am looking into research for making jewelry, soap, candles, etc. I may be selling more to the female markets, but hey that is a whole other half of the population that I was not able to sell to before. If I can make enough money doing that, I can start up a computer business from it. Then I can focus on consumer and computer products and services for my business and sell both.
So please don't OD, there are plenty of options out there, you have to look really hard to find them. Don't give up, as I tried to do before. Trust me I have been down that road and I don't like to see someone else going down that road. Your choice, your decision, I cannot make that for you.
Follow the trends and see what you can do. For example while the code is written over seas, the requirements gathering, quality testing, documentation, configuration management/control, and training is still done in the good old USA. So just switch what you are doing in the computer market to something that they are still hiring for.
"Lady I only speak two languages, English and Bad English!" - Corbin Dallas "The Fifth Element"
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Post #148,141
3/24/04 11:53:08 AM
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Nope
None of that works.
-drl
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Post #148,223
3/24/04 4:56:19 PM
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Then I challenge you to find something that does work
after all you are supposed to be really smart. I figure you should be able to use those smarts to find yourself a job.
"Lady I only speak two languages, English and Bad English!" - Corbin Dallas "The Fifth Element"
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Post #148,165
3/24/04 12:55:23 PM
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Another viewpoint
I'll probably regret trying this post, but I figure if it's to hopefully save your life, I've got nothing to lose.
Ross, I was there once too. I wanted to kill myself rather than face the work place, rather than try to work again. I was disgusted with the whole system, disenchanted with employers and their values, and completely blind-sided by how people could behave.
I went into a deep depression, and I didn't care. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I didn't do anything. Some of the sleeplessness you describe sounds to me like depression. I'm not a doctor, but you could check with your doctor and ask if you need something to help you sleep.
But I learned something in that dark period, and it was a hard lesson. I learned that suicide was NOT the answer. It wasn't what would solve everything. In fact, it was the easy way to avoid the responsibility of taking care of me.
I was tired of fighting, heck, I still am, tired of fighting the system. I didn't believe in being a "showplace" secretary, and I still won't do it. I was hit on by potential employers, and wouldn't even consider working there. I wanted to give up, completely.
But I am still here, plodding on, fighting on, trying new strategies every day, and trying to believe that somewhere out there, there IS a place for me in the work force, and that IF it is truly there, I'll find it.
Granted, I don't have to fear losing my roof, and I know that can be frightening, because I was there once too, in that dark depressive period, I lost my apt and I had to be back with my parents. You claim you have nowhere to go, but all you need is one friend or one person to help you out, just a little, here or there and keep you on your feet until you ARE able to do it yourself.
It CAN be done. I know you think it can't, but it can. And it is honestly, your choice whether you keep on plodding on, and keep on fighting, or lie down and die.
I can't make that choice for you, but I pray every day that you'll make the right one.
Nightowl >8#
"Don't be a cynic and disconsolate preacher. Don't bewail and moan. Omit the negative propositions. Challenge us with incessant affirmatives. Don't waste yourself in rejection, or bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good." Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Post #148,168
3/24/04 1:04:50 PM
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Re: Another viewpoint
FACE THE WORKPLACE? I'D GO NAKED IF IT MADE MONEY.
Not being in this business, you don't understand the implications when a recruiter tells you to "dress like a Republican".
I'm not fighting the system - the SYSTEM is fighting ME. There are any number of things I can do - none of which are possible. I'm not a good, stable enough citizen so I'm not allowed to teach. I have no experience for money so I can't work on MCs. I can't do my career job because the people who hire are totally ignorant of the work that needs doing, and the people who actually should know better tacitly abet this stupid system. I can't drive a cab because my health is fucked up. I can't do labor because I am old and broken down. I can't get a job in a convenience/grocery store because they simply will not hire ME - they take one look and have one conversation and that's it. App given, no call back. Even though I've helped build houses, and can do everything from installing electrics to plumbing to drywalling to framing, those are trades and are (rightly) unionized - and in any case it's the same as the above - I'm too strange a person to average Joes to get along with (their fault for misjudging me).
There is literally nothing I can do to make any money.
-drl
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Post #148,174
3/24/04 1:15:47 PM
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Well...
There is calling people for AMVETS. I did it once, and it was done from home, on my own time. You make money based on who agrees to leave something out for them on the porch. There's no "hard sell" like telemarketing, it's polite, and if they say no you hang up and continue on.
No car needed, no clothes needed, you could do this naked if you liked.
Let me know if you want the contact info for Amvets.
Nightowl >8#
"Don't be a cynic and disconsolate preacher. Don't bewail and moan. Omit the negative propositions. Challenge us with incessant affirmatives. Don't waste yourself in rejection, or bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good." Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Post #148,175
3/24/04 1:28:32 PM
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Re: Well...
Sure you can email it to me. unixmonster at hotmail dot com
-drl
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Post #148,184
3/24/04 1:54:28 PM
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Done :)
Good luck, and let me know if it isn't the right place to call, I'll find another one.
Nightowl >8#
"Don't be a cynic and disconsolate preacher. Don't bewail and moan. Omit the negative propositions. Challenge us with incessant affirmatives. Don't waste yourself in rejection, or bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good." Ralph Waldo Emerson
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