Post #196,917
3/2/05 1:12:46 PM
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Reason enough to have a living will.
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
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Post #196,918
3/2/05 1:26:52 PM
8/21/07 5:46:02 AM
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They don't help as much as you think
If you want to have a living will honored - I suggest you have it tattooed on your ass and notarized.
My dad had a living will, fat lot of good it did for him. His wife refused to dig it out and bring it in because she was deluded that he was "getting better". (I blame gutless doctors for much of this impression too).
When my sister and I dug it out of his files and brought it in the doctors refused to honor it unless it was presented by his wife/legal guardian. Ultimately we found a doctor with some stones that put the picture together and ended the madness - but it took over a week to do it.
Oh, and this was in fucking Florida. Coincidence? I don't know.
"Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect" --Mark Twain
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." --Albert Einstein
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses." --George W. Bush
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Post #196,919
3/2/05 1:32:04 PM
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I've heard other such stories.
But, at least it WAS honored, even if it took a week. What would have happened if he didn't have the living will?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
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Post #196,924
3/2/05 2:33:05 PM
8/21/07 5:46:16 AM
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No, the living will didn't enter into it at all
Instead I had to go digging for a doctor with balls and ask him to integrate the picture for Dad's wife.
The key issue seemed to be a plethora of specialists - each one would pop in every day or so and tweak his own little area - adjust this to lower blood pressure, add more of that to improve circulation, some of this to reduce bleeding, etc.... Every guy, when asked, would mumble about how his latest little tweak improved his little symptom.
The problem was every tweak for one system hosed some other guy's tweak. Basically dad died of multiple system failure brought on by complications from radiation therapy to treat multiple myeloma.
I finally called in a separate oncologist and asked him to integrate the picture and provide the overview prognosis. Dad's primary oncologist had lost his own dad to multiple myeloma and didn't have the stones to come out and say it was game over. He just could not say it.
I have to say the guy I found was awesome, he called a bedside meeting (dad was unconscious and on a ventilator - already pretty much gone I think), explained that at this point what we had was technology run amok, and then point by point crushed all of his wife's false hopes with facts. Tough job but ultimately effective.
An hour later they shot him with extra morphine and discontinued the meds that were keeping him going. With the blood pressure regulating meds gone he didn't last 30 more minutes.
"Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect" --Mark Twain
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." --Albert Einstein
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses." --George W. Bush
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Post #196,929
3/2/05 3:12:10 PM
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That was a terrible experience
No one should have to go through something like that. It's hell on the patient and the family.
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
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Post #196,931
3/2/05 4:03:39 PM
8/21/07 5:46:22 AM
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Yes it was
"Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect" --Mark Twain
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." --Albert Einstein
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses." --George W. Bush
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Post #196,940
3/2/05 6:06:05 PM
8/21/07 5:46:49 AM
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This is timely (new thread)
Created as new thread #196939 titled [link|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=196939|This is timely]
"Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect" --Mark Twain
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." --Albert Einstein
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses." --George W. Bush
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Post #196,933
3/2/05 4:12:45 PM
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Man, that's tough...
But congratulations on finding that particular doctor. You might want to keep his name around...just in case....
jb4
shrub\ufffdbish (Am., from shrub + rubbish, after the derisive name for America's 43 president; 2003) n. 1. a form of nonsensical political doubletalk wherein the speaker attempts to defend the indefensible by lying, obfuscation, or otherwise misstating the facts; GIBBERISH. 2. any of a collection of utterances from America's putative 43rd president. cf. BULLSHIT
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Post #196,936
3/2/05 5:12:12 PM
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Re: They don't help as much as you think
I understand. Probably more than you know.
You are not alone.
Peter
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Use P2P for legitimate purposes!
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Post #196,973
3/3/05 12:31:48 AM
3/3/05 12:34:37 AM
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One possible way to get around that
Have several copies made and notarized. We did. My mom and dad had one each drawn up last year, and my brother and I both have copies of both of them. We also got the POT papers early and the bank signing worked out, and everything, so that either of us or them could present the papers and they hopefully would be honored. Oh and it was done by a lawyer, so hopefully that gives it more weight as well.
Quite frankly though, as much peace as it gave us all, I still pray the day never comes when I'll have to use it.
Brenda
"The people of the world having once been deceived, suspect deceit in truth itself." -- Hitopadesa 600?-1100? AD, Sanskrit Fable From Panchatantr
Edited by Nightowl
March 3, 2005, 12:34:37 AM EST
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Post #197,002
3/3/05 9:47:59 AM
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One minor bit of info
at least in Florida, you have to authorize DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) EACH time you enter the hospital.
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