Perhaps it is part of the illness

Post #134,523 by orion 1/9/04 12:45:23 PM Reply	Perhaps it is part of the illness it certainly stops me from doing certain things. The problem is me trying to get over those fears. So far I have been unable to do that, although I have tried. *"Lady I only speak two languages, English and Bad English!" - Corbin Dallas "The Fifth Element"*
Post #134,524 by deSitter 1/9/04 12:59:10 PM Reply	Re: Perhaps it is part of the illness What you describe is not fear, it is chickenshitness. Real fear happens when you are confronted by an actual situation that will hurt you bad. Since you don't know this, you've never experienced it. Indeed you probably build your life around avoiding it (understandable, since it is no fun). Refusal to accept challenges is not fear, it is chickenshititude. Chickenshittitude can be overcome - fear is basic, like pleasure and love. You can face fear but you can't avoid it, and the longer you put it off, the more it will hurt when it arrives. -drl
Post #134,527 by Nightowl 1/9/04 1:08:27 PM Reply	You have no idea what you are talking about Norman was almost killed once when he almost went off a cliff with a friend who had a diabetic attack while driving. Get your facts before spouting, Ross. You need to back off and let people alone that you don't like, and stop picking on them... and STOP following me around in here just to make smart-assed remarks. Nightowl >8# "It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences." Harry S. Truman "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Timothy Bentley
Post #134,529 by deSitter 1/9/04 1:13:24 PM Reply	Re: You have no idea what you are talking about I don't pick on people, and you are too stupid to understand what I am saying. I am telling Norm the truth. If he doesn't like driving, he can stay off the roads. Indeed the way he talks about it, he would be doing everyone else a favor if he did. (FWIW, I was in a rather bad motorcycle crash. I got back on the horse because I can live with fear. Indeed I am living with it as I write this.) -drl
Post #134,531 by Nightowl 1/9/04 1:19:00 PM Reply	You clearly stated... That Norm had not been through something like that that truly put his life in danger. Rosee wrote:>>Real fear happens when you are confronted by an actual situation that will hurt you bad. Since you don't know this, you've never experienced it.<< I clearly stated back that he has indeed. As for not picking on me, what was the point then of going into the Q & A thread and simply screaming? I was having a reasonable, logical conversation with people about my car and you came in there and screamed for no explainable reason. Grow up, Ross. Nightowl >8# "It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences." Harry S. Truman "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Timothy Bentley
Post #134,535 by deSitter 1/9/04 1:27:04 PM Reply	Re: You clearly stated... That is not fear, that is horror - an instantaneous reaction to a bad situation. Fear is the awareness of an inevitable coming unpleasantness and the intense desire to avoid it. Courage is the ability to live with fear. As for the screaming, well, to put it plainly, you drive me up the wall most of the time. As Jung would say, we are "shadows" of each other. -drl
Post #134,537 by Nightowl 1/9/04 1:31:13 PM Reply	Well as Scott said in the Hardware forum KNOCK IT OFF, ROSS! Nightowl >8# "It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences." Harry S. Truman "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Timothy Bentley
Post #134,534 by orion 1/9/04 1:24:29 PM Reply	Not to mention me being in many car accidents. I've almost died many times, and I am lucky to have survived, or even not been hurt. The fears are not groundless, but based on real events, real experiences. *"Lady I only speak two languages, English and Bad English!" - Corbin Dallas "The Fifth Element"*
Post #134,536 by deSitter 1/9/04 1:30:20 PM Reply	Re: Not to mention Well, then stay off the roads if you're that bad a driver, or stay out of cars altogether. Simple solution no? But I would say, fear is what my quad friend in Arizona faces every day when he has to take a shit. -drl
Post #134,557 by boxley 1/9/04 2:31:16 PM Reply	perhaps you need to take up driving in demolition derbies I am not saying your fear is groundless, I am saying you need to learn to function in a competent manner while in a fearful state. Fear of driving is understandable. Driving in an event where the object is to crash as many people as you can while in a fearful state might assist you in learning to cope with fear and allow you to confront other parts of your life where you are fearful in a more confident manner without becoming the antinorm. thanx, Bill stick a spork in it. questions, help? [link\|mailto:pappas@catholic.org\|email pappas at catholic.org]
Post #134,573 by orion 1/9/04 3:31:59 PM Reply	You have a point except that my fear is not about driving, but driving on the highway. I can drive on local roads just fine, and never had an accident while I was driving. All of my accidents happened when someone else was driving. Getting over my fear of driving just to drive on local roads was a major step for me. Just ask Nightowl as she knew me before I drove on local roads. *"Lady I only speak two languages, English and Bad English!" - Corbin Dallas "The Fifth Element"*
Post #136,179 by lister 1/16/04 3:09:01 PM Reply	Nah, I agree with Ross I've been in a car crash that had a high probability of either killing me or paralyzing me. I was lucky enough to walk away with some deep cuts on my head, arms and legs requiring staples and stitches, glass in my eyes and the temporary loss of use of my left arm (about two months or so to regain nearly full strength.) I fought off passing out at the scene and had the mental wherewithal to check myself out physically to make sure I was going to be okay. I've had a few other near car accidents. I've had several bicycle crashes one a concussion that I blacked out from and later went to sleep at home with (didn't know that was a no-no) and several others that I nearly did a header into moving cars. I still drive, allow myself to be driven by others (someone else was driving in that car crash), still ride my bike, still rollerblade despite smashing my wrists during this past summer (very painful!)... Grow a spine and some balls and just deal with things! It's amazing to see and read about people completely panicing in some situations, a lot of the time completely unjustified. Quit whining and just deal with shit. lister

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