I must admit, the above rant does tend to refute the "little miss good person-ness" of the original "but praying makes it all better" comment. You have to keep in mind that several of us consider any religion a form of institutional insanity. Having faith that the giant invisible old white guy in the sky will make it all better if we only *believe* in the giant invisible old white guy in the sky is something several of us have come to not believe.


I almost get it now, there's just too many words in the Thesaurus to describe cloying and Pollyanna. But I get that Rcareaga thought it was boring, or uninteresting, so ok, it was boring, if that's the case, so fucking what. Also it appears that he thought it was trite, or commonplace, or gooey.. who knows, there's too many words.

My point was, I didn't care what anyone thought of the blasted original post, all I cared about was that I answered the question that was asked, and I fucking did that, so what's the big hangup here? I didn't tell Rcareaga to come in here and flame me for my "supposedly lame" post and create a long thread while I wasn't even here to see it!

Although that does strike me as funny, because you must all think I'm interesting in some respect, because if you didn't, you all wouldn't have debated about the post for such a long thread while I wasn't even perpetuating it! That's the funniest part of this entire thread!

And if you'll re-read my post, Silverlock, you'll see that I didn't say a word about praying. I said I used my imagination to feel safe. Imagining God as a Huge Owl Protector doesn't mean I'm praying to him to imagine him.

Praying, well that's another story that maybe I'll touch on some day, but I only recently learned to actually feel something while praying, because for years I was searching for achieving the "perfect daily prayer"... having been freed from that recently, (due to some revelations on my part), I now know that The Almighty in whatever form he takes for whomever, doesn't need the "perfect prayer" to hear you or to care. And yes, I know some of you don't believe, and that's your perogative.

But as I stated, if I didn't create some illusion of security for myself, to ease my panic-anxiety reactions to possible dangers, I would be afraid to leave the house, or open the front door.... hence, I created the "safe place to go" that works for me.

It's kind of like trying to achieve something that's fucking impossible, i.e. to be truly "safe" yet the more you try, the more you feel it might be possible.

I am definitely NOT a "little miss good person-ness", although I would like to be.... there's a dark side of me that rears it's head from time to time whenever I get madder than hell and can't contain it anymore. I'm not proud of it, but I accept it's there.

Brenda