I assume none are missing?

There are plenty of married people who share bank accounts.

If you share a bank account, there is no difference between taking money from the wallet and taking it from the ATM machine. It all comes from the same place in the end. It is no big deal.

In fact if a married couple can agree well enough on money issues to make this work, I think it is significantly better than trying to keep a tit for tat tally of "this is my money and that is yours". Why waste the energy and stress on a bookkeeping issue?

I feel sad for you that you're unable to conceive of this situation working out. It probably sucks to have to squabble about whose money is going to be used to buy toothpaste at the store. I'm glad I don't.

This obviously is not going to work when the couple has serious disagreements about how to spend money. For instance one has a shopping or a gambling problem. But plenty of couples don't have such problems, and for them money really should be a non-issue.

Cheers,
Ben

PS I've had a joint bank account with my wife for over 16 years without problems.

PPS My wife knows that she's free to take money from my wallet any time she wants as long as she leaves at least $40 in it. She usually tells me before she does so, but only because she needs to ask me where it is.

I did that for a decade my first turn on the marriage-go-round, and it presented some bookkeeping difficulties. For example, as I attempted to balance the checkbook in those balmy days before online banking I would say "Lookee! All our bills mailed timely and we've still got almost $150 to tide us over to next payday"—and then the spousette would fish out a wad of ATM receipts and I'd have to rob a convenience store or roll a crippled newsboy to avert the otherwise inevitable multiple overdrafts. These days #2 and I maintain and balance separate accounts. Since I have a steady income and hers fluctuates wildly I attempt to maintain matters so that I can cover our essential expenses even when she's experiencing a drought. Sometimes the droughts are prolonged, and I become anxious, but when they break we have these nice spells of extravagance. In ten years' cohabitation I don't think we've ever had sharp words over money.

cordially,

Post #260,875 by warmachine 7/6/06 10:09:42 AM Reply	I assume none are missing? Matthew Greet Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? - Mark Renton, Trainspotting.
Post #260,876 by drewk 7/6/06 10:18:52 AM Reply	Hahahahahahahahaha Whoooo, that was a good one. [wipes tear from eye] Yes, they were all there. And it's a good thing, too, because I'm going to lunch with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy today. === Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link\|http://DocHope.com\|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats]. [link\|http://DocHope.com\|http://DocHope.com]
Post #260,888 by warmachine 7/6/06 12:09:36 PM Reply	Your wife can't cover her tracks? Matthew Greet Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? - Mark Renton, Trainspotting.
Post #260,893 by drewk 7/6/06 12:32:37 PM Reply	If the goal were snooping, she didn't cover them I'm fairly sure the goal was just to use me as an ATM. === Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link\|http://DocHope.com\|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats]. [link\|http://DocHope.com\|http://DocHope.com]
Post #260,954 by warmachine 7/6/06 6:57:28 PM Reply	She steals and doesn't care? She takes your money without agreement and is either too stupid to cover it up or is just plain contemptuous of you. And the question you're asking yourself is if you're anally retentive? I'm sure there must be some basis for your marriage but probably frightens children. Matthew Greet Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? - Mark Renton, Trainspotting.
Post #260,958 by ben_tilly 7/6/06 7:36:33 PM Reply	Do try to be less of a moron, OK? There are plenty of married people who share bank accounts. If you share a bank account, there is no difference between taking money from the wallet and taking it from the ATM machine. It all comes from the same place in the end. It is no big deal. In fact if a married couple can agree well enough on money issues to make this work, I think it is significantly better than trying to keep a tit for tat tally of "this is my money and that is yours". Why waste the energy and stress on a bookkeeping issue? I feel sad for you that you're unable to conceive of this situation working out. It probably sucks to have to squabble about whose money is going to be used to buy toothpaste at the store. I'm glad I don't. This obviously is not going to work when the couple has serious disagreements about how to spend money. For instance one has a shopping or a gambling problem. But plenty of couples don't have such problems, and for them money really should be a non-issue. Cheers, Ben PS I've had a joint bank account with my wife for over 16 years without problems. PPS My wife knows that she's free to take money from my wallet any time she wants as long as she leaves at least $40 in it. She usually tells me before she does so, but only because she needs to ask me where it is. a very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything but not enough to do nothing. -- Warren Buffett
Post #260,963 by rcareaga 7/6/06 10:52:06 PM Reply	shared accounts I did that for a decade my first turn on the marriage-go-round, and it presented some bookkeeping difficulties. For example, as I attempted to balance the checkbook in those balmy days before online banking I would say "Lookee! All our bills mailed timely and we've still got almost $150 to tide us over to next payday"—and then the spousette would fish out a wad of ATM receipts and I'd have to rob a convenience store or roll a crippled newsboy to avert the otherwise inevitable multiple overdrafts. These days #2 and I maintain and balance separate accounts. Since I have a steady income and hers fluctuates wildly I attempt to maintain matters so that I can cover our essential expenses even when she's experiencing a drought. Sometimes the droughts are prolonged, and I become anxious, but when they break we have these nice spells of extravagance. In ten years' cohabitation I don't think we've ever had sharp words over money. cordially, Die Welt ist alles, was der Fall ist.
Post #260,967 by ben_tilly 7/6/06 11:16:07 PM Reply	It strongly depends on the people My wife and I are both prone to accidentally saving. Bouncing checks is not normally something we have to worry about. Or if we do, the problem is that the money is in the wrong account, not that we lack it. Cheers, Ben a very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything but not enough to do nothing. -- Warren Buffett
Post #260,960 by boxley 7/6/06 7:49:23 PM Reply	its our money not my money unlike the UK where a husband gives the wife a small stipend to buy groceries and pay bills of which the wife has to wring her beer money out of pennies saved on cheap and rotting food. We share. thanx, bill Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
Post #260,979 by drewk 7/7/06 9:32:20 AM Reply	I don't even think in those terms First, she doesn't work outside the home. So any money she spends comes from me anyway. As Ben said, there's no difference between using the ATM and taking it from my wallet. Since I nearly always use the debit card when I have a choice, the only time I need cash is for the few places that don't take plastic. And at those places I'm rarely buying something for more than $20. If she had "her own" money, and was taking "mine" because she ran out, that might be what you're talking about. But I don't think so. It's like saying that I'm stealing from her because I ate the last piece of cake without asking. === Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link\|http://DocHope.com\|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats]. [link\|http://DocHope.com\|http://DocHope.com]
Post #260,989 by bepatient 7/7/06 12:07:13 PM 7/7/06 12:07:44 PM Reply	Even moreso here I work, she works. Whats mine is hers and vice versa. Normal procedure is to ask. The wallet rifling or me going into the pocketbook would not be an issue over the money, it would be an issue of courtesy and respect of the other persons "space". What I'm saying, I go into her pocketbook to get money on occassion. But I >ask< before I do, generally. If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. _{Fudd's First Law of Opposition} [link\|mailto:bepatient@aol.com\|BePatient] Edited by bepatient July 7, 2006, 12:07:44 PM EDT Expand All History
Post #260,995 by drewk 7/7/06 1:46:17 PM Reply	Re: asking first Odds are the ice cream truck came by while she was out front with the kids and didn't have her purse handy. The wallet[1] was on the shelf by the front door, where I left it while I was doing yard work. [1] It hasn't been "my wallet" for about five years, it's "the wallet". And I'm okay with that. === Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link\|http://DocHope.com\|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats]. [link\|http://DocHope.com\|http://DocHope.com]

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