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Welcome to IWETHEY!

New Do try to be less of a moron, OK?
There are plenty of married people who share bank accounts.

If you share a bank account, there is no difference between taking money from the wallet and taking it from the ATM machine. It all comes from the same place in the end. It is no big deal.

In fact if a married couple can agree well enough on money issues to make this work, I think it is significantly better than trying to keep a tit for tat tally of "this is my money and that is yours". Why waste the energy and stress on a bookkeeping issue?

I feel sad for you that you're unable to conceive of this situation working out. It probably sucks to have to squabble about whose money is going to be used to buy toothpaste at the store. I'm glad I don't.

This obviously is not going to work when the couple has serious disagreements about how to spend money. For instance one has a shopping or a gambling problem. But plenty of couples don't have such problems, and for them money really should be a non-issue.

Cheers,
Ben

PS I've had a joint bank account with my wife for over 16 years without problems.

PPS My wife knows that she's free to take money from my wallet any time she wants as long as she leaves at least $40 in it. She usually tells me before she does so, but only because she needs to ask me where it is.
a very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything but not enough to do nothing. -- Warren Buffett
New shared accounts
I did that for a decade my first turn on the marriage-go-round, and it presented some bookkeeping difficulties. For example, as I attempted to balance the checkbook in those balmy days before online banking I would say "Lookee! All our bills mailed timely and we've still got almost $150 to tide us over to next payday"—and then the spousette would fish out a wad of ATM receipts and I'd have to rob a convenience store or roll a crippled newsboy to avert the otherwise inevitable multiple overdrafts. These days #2 and I maintain and balance separate accounts. Since I have a steady income and hers fluctuates wildly I attempt to maintain matters so that I can cover our essential expenses even when she's experiencing a drought. Sometimes the droughts are prolonged, and I become anxious, but when they break we have these nice spells of extravagance. In ten years' cohabitation I don't think we've ever had sharp words over money.

cordially,
Die Welt ist alles, was der Fall ist.
New It strongly depends on the people
My wife and I are both prone to accidentally saving. Bouncing checks is not normally something we have to worry about. Or if we do, the problem is that the money is in the wrong account, not that we lack it.

Cheers,
Ben
a very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything but not enough to do nothing. -- Warren Buffett
     This is *not* evidence that I'm anal - (drewk) - (31)
         you have bills in your wallet and you are married? /me green -NT - (boxley) - (1)
             Didn't say they were *large* bills - (drewk)
         Right you are. - (Yendor) - (7)
             Re: Right you are. - (Nightowl) - (6)
                 you are obviously anal, not a mental disease though -NT - (boxley) - (1)
                     Don't be confusing "pointless" with "symptomatic" -NT - (pwhysall)
                 The symptoms are on a continuum - (bionerd) - (3)
                     Thank you, Laura - (Nightowl) - (1)
                         You're welcome. - (bionerd)
                     ICLRPD (new thread) - (Nightowl)
         That's not anal, that's organized :-) - (imqwerky) - (4)
             There, you see? I'm okay, Amy says so -NT - (drewk) - (3)
                 you're ok, I'm ok - (cforde) - (1)
                     Wow - (imqwerky)
                 I agree with Amy - (Nightowl)
         I assume none are missing? -NT - (warmachine) - (11)
             Hahahahahahahahaha - (drewk) - (10)
                 Your wife can't cover her tracks? -NT - (warmachine) - (9)
                     If the goal were snooping, she didn't cover them - (drewk) - (8)
                         She steals and doesn't care? - (warmachine) - (7)
                             Do try to be less of a moron, OK? - (ben_tilly) - (2)
                                 shared accounts - (rcareaga) - (1)
                                     It strongly depends on the people - (ben_tilly)
                             its our money not my money unlike the UK - (boxley)
                             I don't even think in those terms - (drewk) - (2)
                                 Even moreso here - (bepatient) - (1)
                                     Re: asking first - (drewk)
         Denominational order here, but face up? - (Andrew Grygus)
         My wife does that - (tjsinclair) - (2)
             I like to keep the notes in order, too. - (static) - (1)
                 Same here. -NT - (jbrabeck)

I see mass suicides and riots in the future as every urkel fashion sense inspired computer nerd throws down their oxy pads and mutters, "enough is enough," then takes to the streets, scsi cards in hand, and it will be dark, dark day indeed my friend.
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