The way it is in US Capitalism is almost the same way it was in Feudalism. You have your haves and your havenots. Slavery was done away with, you no longer can own slaves, but you can now have them under contract and limit their rights by that contract. We are all just surfs working for Kings and Queens to make them richer and more powerfull. Every once in a while we get lucky and some of those Kings and Queens throw us a bone or do a "sociable" thing to make them feel good to give away a small fraction of their wealth to get it back in tax breaks, or to get some sort of award from their peers. This is of course not always common and not done by every King and Queen. If you are not royalty, you cannot make it in the big time unless you brownnose the right rear end.

How dare we claim that the Kings and Queens pay their own fair share of taxes? Why it is a privilage of the rich to avoid as much taxes as they can by using their loyal henchmen (Lawyers and Accountants) to reduce the taxes they pay.

Even if it makes more sense to mine for gold in a larger mine that has more gold in it, it seems that or Uncle Sam would rather mine for gold in smaller mines that hardly have any gold in it whatsoever! Why tap a lake, when you can tap a puddle of water? Why tell that 150 pound man to lose weight when you have a 800 pound man standing next to him that you said was in good shape?

Want to get rich? Follow the same plan that many others have followed:

#1 Stab all your coworkers in the back. Blame them for your mistakes, and spread rumors about them to get them fired. Don't target anyone who is willing to become your stooge or that brownnoses you. If you stab them in the back and they keep working for you with no complaints, keep them.

#2 Learn how to lie while keeping a straight face. Practice "Trickle down theory works!" "OJ Simpson was innocent!" "Enron is a good stock investment!" "The Republican Party cares about the poor!" If you get to the point that you start believing your own lies, then you are almost ready.

#3 Find out what other people are doing, and steal their ideas. Steal the ideas of your coworkers. Learn to say what they say in meetings and at lunch, and then reword it a bit with "buzzwords" so it sounds impressive. Make sure that you hide any memos about meetings so your coworkers won't be able to contradict you in meetings that you stole their ideas.

#4 Remember step number 1? Build up your base of loyal stooges and work them as hard as you can. If they don't quit or complain, keep them employed. Monitor them like Big Brother, force them to work extra hours without pay. If any of them complain, get rid of them. If the EEOC calls you, they can be bought off for the right price. Moving on up to management is simple if you are already a crook.

#5 If you company cannot make the products and/or services that you want them to, then just buy out a smaller company. If the DOJ investigates you, just hire a team of high priced lawyers and have them create a ton of fake documents and other evidence to throw at the DOJ. Fake videos, fake evidence, and then claim you don't know what is happening if you get caught.

#6 Make sure that you keep brownnosing, and invest money in your "buddies" companies and make loans to them as well. Keep that money in the top 10%, and always follow a stock tip from your "buddy" who works at the company you are investing in. "Insider Trading" charges can also be paid away in case you get caught.

#7 Join the Republican Party, subscribe to the "Supply Side" economics theory, despite the many holes shot into it. Learn the secret handshakes, and the art of the deal. Sign that contract in blood with that weird looking guy who promises you wealth and power.

#8 Buy or rent the media to create positive articles on your company, products, or services. Time/Warner/AOL is a good one to rent, just ask Apple. :) Make sure that you give them an "exclusive deal".

#9 Lie, cheat, commit fraud, stab anyone in the back that stands in your way. The best way to do this is to pretend to be their friend, promise them a lot of things, break those promises, and then spread rumors about them and do what you can to get them fired and ruin their career. You can hire people to create false evidence, plant evidence, and create false information about them. Then deny knowing anthing about that if they are caught.

#10 Make sure that you keep the illusion that the USA is fair, and that everyone has an equal chance to become a billonare no matter what their background. That keeps the rest of them working as hard as they can for you. Make sure that you spread this BS on Internet forums, newsgroups, IRC chats, and any other place that you can think of. Also have your stooges do it for you as well.

Repeat steps 1 to 10, over and over again, until you finally do succeed. Apparently it has worked for many people, despite the number of times they have screwed up or failed. Remember that even that guy who uses those lame pick-up lines will eventually find a woman who falls for it, after getting rejected by a thousand women. So keep acting like a Rich Jerk, and eventually you will become a Rich Jerk!