Thanks a lot
as you may have guessed the trauma from the crap I took from my former employer has left me with half the brainpower that I once had. I am lucky if I can find my car keys and remember what passwords that I use. I am slowly rebuilding my brain while at the same time trying not to get stressed out ove rob issues, and family issues. Back in 1995-1997, before I got married, I used to have the free-time to research this stuff until 3 in the morning when I would pass out, sleep in a bed next to the computer, wake up, and then research some more. Now about every 15 minutes I get interrupted my family, friends, a phone call, something else, and I am lucky if I can figure out if I got a service pack or two installed. If I am lucky I can get a few hours in a day, with only 41 or less interuptions. Mind you I still need time to sleep, talk to my wife, do house chores, play games with my son, eat, and have a social life, things that I did not have time to do when I was single. So married life, while it does have its benefits, is wrecking havok on my computer skills and ability to research things. As you may have guessed when I don't have time to read something, I "skim" it over a few times and get out what I really need without reading the whole thing. Yes, I need to learn how to do that "Speed Reading" or "Photographic Memory" that you guys appear to have. Read the whole "Using Linux" book in 15 seconds, didja? Can quote page number and verse, right? Well I am not [link|http://us.imdb.com/M/title-exact?Rain+Man+(1988)|"Rainman"] and I cannot add up numbers in my head, remember phone books, and know what time "Wheel Of Fortune" comes on. Instead I have to use a calculator or computer to crunch numbers, find that phone book in my closet or where ever my wife left it last, and find that copy of TV Guide or just use the DirectTV pop-up Guide and do a search on "Wheel Of Fortune".
Remember lawyers screwed me over royaly, and I didn't even know what direction I was facing when HR escourted me out the door. They played me such big mind games and kept bombording me with extra work, disinformation, etc that my brain overloaded. I thought I had recovered, but the warning signs are back again. I recently found myself parked in the Sam's parking lot when I was supposed to go to Aldi's, but Sam's sells Milk too, and I was there so might as well go in a buy some milk instead of driving over to the other part of the city, right? Oh the fact that I didn't remember driving to Sam's just keeps me up at night. I'm zoning out here somehow.
Stuff like this bothers me, it is like someone took electrodes and shoved them up my nose into my brain and shocked the hell out of me. My doctor wanted me to go on disability, remember? Unable to do the job, got sick, got stressed out, wash rinse repeat cycle. Ah you get the idea. I am operating on half the sleep I should be getting, driving to the wrong location, and blood is now coming out of my eyes, I warned you guys but you would not listen. Thanks a whole hell of a lot for the help. Now I have to clean the blood off of my keyboard.
