I am friends with many guys, in fact, that's how I started life, playing with the neighborhood boys. I didn't have actual girlfriends until I was nearly 8 years old.

Today I am still friends in a platonic manner with many guys, for many reasons. Bill, my bagpiper friend from High School, who taught me to play chess, for example, is strictly a friend and there was never more there. In fact, he asked for his file one day (I keep files of correspondence and such from everyone important in my life), and he wrote "Absolutely no Fucking" on the front. Heheh! He wanted to make sure we knew what page we were on, and it had never entered into my mind with him.

Andrew, I met at volleyball in the 90's and we were always just friends. He was the one who gave me free computers, and fixed them etc., before he moved to Texas. He is the one person I know who would've been brave enough to have soldered a battery onto Katie's motherboard. But I digress.

These are examples, (and only two), of actual male friends that I share honest platonic relationships with.

As for the romance/sex aspect, I don't know about sex, having never had any with anyone other than John, but I can speak on romance and possibly sexuality, as well.

I had a dear friend named Jay, I was friends with him a long time from the Dr. Who club. He went into the service and called me monthly, and when he returned, he was engaged. I helped him get a house together while he waited to bring his bride over from France, and then on the Fourth Of July in 1987 he kissed me. It was shocking, but it was the first time I'd ever felt anything real about a kiss. We determined we were in love, and probably always had been and didn't know it.

We determined to remain friends. But it didn't work out for some time. In fact, we didn't rekindle our friendship until he was divorced, and I was engaged to R. That was tricky, because he still felt love, and so did I, despite trying not to, so I had to really be careful not to let that get acted upon. When R left, for the first time Jay and I were free to explore our relationship, but you know what? I'd finally fallen out of love with him. It took 16 years, but I had. But he hadn't. Regardless, the bottom line is that we tried to remain friends, but it was always touchy. You always wondered what was he thinking about, and were on guard. He got married again, and so did I. We're still friends, but it's still touchy... and I would never be alone with him ever, because I don't trust him to not act upon his feelings.

So to answer your question, yes, it's possible to have purely platonic friends where sex/romance never even enters into your mind (at least it never did with me where Bill and Andrew and many others were concerned), but it's trickier to stay friends with someone when there ever was love involved.

As for a crush, that's a little different too. There's a guy from college who still wishes we had been something back then. He calls now and then, he has a kid, and is divorced, etc. We're friends, but again, I would never be alone with him because he often wishes we had worked out. I never dated him, by the way, he just grabbed me in a car and kissed me, and well, freaked me out good. That was the extent of the "romance." He of course sees it much differently.

So each situation is different. If you have interests that are non-romantic and you build on those with the friend of the opposite sex, the friendship has a chance. If it was built on any kind of romantic spark, I'd have to say it's iffy.

Brenda

Edit: On another note, that's probably why I feel so comfortable on IWT, it's predominantly male. :)