Added information to help with advice

Post #207,935 by jbrabeck 5/18/05 8:18:15 AM Reply	Added information to help with advice She's 16, HS sophomore. Minnesota has "basic standards" tests (Reading, writing, basic math) that must be passed to graduate from HS. She is a documented slow learner with reading comprehension difficulty. She is/was borderline qualified for "special ed" because of it. Was placed in special ed for two years and made huge improvements. Not unwilling to learn, but easily frustrated (I find it hard to help because I get frustrated when she doesn't "see" the answer "right in front of her".) She understands the need to pass and is willing to try. I found out last night that one of her friends also failed and would like help. IF I can get the two of them together, then I will be able to tutor both. They would "compete" and help each other. With just my daughter I think it would become "difficult". And as to her moving in with bio father. We have restraining orders in place to keep him away. No an option. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
Post #207,936 by bionerd 5/18/05 9:06:02 AM Reply	Is she still under an IEP? If yes, the school is under obligation to help. Pull together a meeting with her team to discuss solutions. If not, you might want to have her retested to see if something new hasnt popped up. She might need to be recertified. She may have a math disability that didnt show before. Her math is more complicated now- maybe her processing skills arent developed enough. If you request testing, the school district has to comply- in Michigan they have 30 days. Dont know what the law is in MN. I'd have her tested just to be sure. It will let you know where she stands. Her frustration level is a red flag for me. It tells me she's motivated and wants to understand but something is preventing her from doing so. Have you talked to her math teacher yet? Maybe he/she has some insight into the problem. Regarding tutoring- do you have Sylvan Learning in your area? They are pretty good, but pricey. You might also want to check your local library- they often know about good tutoring programs. Lastly- how is her vision? Has she seen an optometrist lately? Kids with math and reading problems often have visual processing disorders. You might want to get that checked out. More info on this here: [link\|http://www.visionandlearning.org/index.htm\|http://www.visionand...ing.org/index.htm] Just some thoughts. My son has numerous disabilities and processing disorders. I deal with this stuff on a daily basis. HTH. Laura
Post #207,941 by jbrabeck 5/18/05 9:15:19 AM Reply	Glasses and IEP Glasses - won't wear them. IEP dropped at end of last year since she was doing "so well". Thanks for advice. Will contact school. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
Post #207,942 by bionerd 5/18/05 9:29:43 AM Reply	One thing I've learned.. Is that even though the school promotes itself as being an advocate for my child, they arent. They are slow to identify problems, and when they do, little is done about it. I'm in constant communication with my son's teacher and educational team. I'm sure the principal hates me. He always has a "special" look on his face when he see's me. A look that says "OMFG, what does SHE want now?" I've really had to learn to be a hard ass. It's not fun. Hope things work out for you.
Post #207,945 by CRConrad 5/18/05 9:51:09 AM Reply	You're the adults; you TELL her to use 'em if she needs 'em.
Post #207,947 by bionerd 5/18/05 9:54:00 AM Reply	Says the newbie parent If it were only as easy at that................:-)
Post #207,948 by CRConrad 5/18/05 10:00:48 AM Reply	Been on the recieving end of it. Called child-rearing, AFAIK
Post #207,951 by admin 5/18/05 10:18:32 AM Reply	Naive. Regards, -scott anderson "Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
Post #207,958 by CRConrad 5/18/05 11:13:10 AM Reply	Bah. "Give 'em a good beating if they don't obey, say I. I've had a lot of beatings, and it hasn't hu-- hasn't hu-- hasn't hu-- hasn't hurt me at all." [link\|mailto:MyUserId@MyISP.CountryCode\|Christian R. Conrad] (I live in Finland, and my e-mail in-box is at the Saunalahti company.) Your lies are of Microsoftian Scale and boring to boot. Your 'depression' may be the closest you ever come to recognizing truth: you have no 'inferiority complex', you are inferior - and something inside you recognizes this. - [link\|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=71575\|Ashton Brown]
Post #207,984 by bionerd 5/18/05 2:05:34 PM Reply	Ahhhh- That explains a lot! ;-)
Post #208,055 by CRConrad 5/19/05 2:37:02 AM Reply	Eh, you did see the quotation marks, I hope? :-) I can't even claim the joke as an original; I adapted it from an old Swedish comedy skit (about professional boxing, not child-rearing). [link\|mailto:MyUserId@MyISP.CountryCode\|Christian R. Conrad] (I live in Finland, and my e-mail in-box is at the Saunalahti company.) Your lies are of Microsoftian Scale and boring to boot. Your 'depression' may be the closest you ever come to recognizing truth: you have no 'inferiority complex', you are inferior - and something inside you recognizes this. - [link\|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=71575\|Ashton Brown]
Post #208,067 by bionerd 5/19/05 9:34:53 AM Reply	Yes ;-)
Post #207,996 by ben_tilly 5/18/05 2:53:05 PM Reply	Get a tutor. Do not try to do it yourself. One of the worst things that you can do for someone who is having trouble with math is get frustrated. Because then they get frustrated with themselves, and that frustration makes them worse at math, completing the destructive cycle. Therefore if you get frustrated dealing with her learning trouble, you're contributing to her problems. You need someone who can deal with her issues, deal with her frustration, and can break the problem down even farther until they find what steps she's missing. Cheers, Ben I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
Post #208,060 by Another Scott 5/19/05 8:11:10 AM Reply	They should help each other, but need a pro. As others say, it's probably best for everyone if you can find a tutor. Having both of them work together with a tutor may help, but you need to be sure that the tutor can provide appropriate correction if they start to reinforce thoughts that are wrong. E.g.: I remember in 6th grade or so studying together with a kid who was quite a bit slower than me. I didn't understand the subject as well as I thought I did and we ended up "learning" some things that were wrong. Situations like that will arise and a tutor would have more experience with how to straighten it out. You don't want to get in a situation where it's 2 against 1 and they feel that the answer is arbitrary. HTH. Luck! Cheers, Scott.

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