I think what we all benefitted from was a mentor
I had several, one who was convinced I would die of an overdose at a young age. No matter how long between visits he was always gracious enough to invite me in for coffee, manatee cigarettes and updates. On one quick visit from the frozen north he explained he had lung cancer. All the local busybodies insisted it was aids due to his sexual orientation. A gentle man lived in quiet dignity surrounded by peckerwoods always waiting for mistep to form a lynching.
Another although we were not close was instrumental in teaching me gentleness. An Anglican Pastor him and his wife enjoyed long discourses about the nature of man, religion and his library of classics was always open.
One more was the kind cocktail waitress/hooker who looked the other way when I was sixteen and inhabiting the bar. She had a great collecton of blues and jazz that she could play because she was the owners daughter. Many told her to shut it off but she would shrug her ample shoulders mutter in Ukranian and turn it up. Cops never bothered them because she was the only action in town.
The best was a german survivor of Stalingrad who taught me humor is available for all occasions especially when the shit hits the fan and never sweat little stuff like death, bankrupcy or poverty because the spirit will overcome.
thanx,
bill
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"If you want to meet a group of people who have a profound distrust of, and hostility toward, our legal system, don't waste your time on political radicals; interview a random selection of crime victims, and you will probably find that they make the former group look like utopian idealists by comparison." Dave Robicheaux