But, wait... I think I've found a few minutes to kill. Let's
hypothesise that someone came to me urging me to solve his problem with
sucky fonts on some nameless Linux distribution. He pleads with me to
tell him what he can do.

So, I tell him: "Son, as I see it, the following options are open to
you:

1. Buy typefaces you prefer.

2. Create some.

3. Commission their creation."

I'd twist my moustache thoughtfully, and then add "Yep, that would seem
to about cover it." Now, is there some particular part of the truth you
don't like, or is it the entire package?

If "go buy it" is an acceptable solution for font support, couldn't
you save a lot of time by telling everyone who asks a question to just
go buy the latest version of Windows?

Well, there certainly are people I recommend to go get MS-Windows --
preferably good and hard.

You are doing exactly the thing that non-Linux users find so
elitist.

That's 'cuz I'm evil. Folks, bring on the next troll, please. This
one's been out in the sun too long, and is obviously getting stoned.