If you aren't up to deciphering actually (at least semi-)coherent sentences in plain English -- albeit somewhat long and convoluted -- by now, then I think some basic prerequisites are just plain missing.

Therefore, I would suggest: Next time you see a post by Ashton, if you aren't one-hundred-percent sure you understand what he's talking about, then just don't reply to it.

OK, I'll make an exception -- only this once, so DON'T repeat this! -- and explain what he said:
But if you need further clarification re whether I? imagine that you? don black clothes at night, slip out with a list of queers or abortionists to assassinate, and your Weatherby Magnum + silencer (and maybe some aflatoxin for my well)
He is asking whether you need a clarification of something, or stating a conditional. Like, "What? If _I_ think that _you_are_ a black-clothed abortionist-assassin?" And then he goes on to answer it,
Nahhh. It ain't in you
But there you go, droning on and on about how you're not a black-clothed abortionist-assassin:
You know I am opposed to violence, heck I even helped Desitter get out of a violent situation quite some time ago. I worked with people who were homosexual, I've known women who had abortions...blah, blah, blah.
HE FUCKING _S_A_I_D_ HE DID _N_O_T_ THINK YOU ARE!!!

Erhgho: Posting a long litany about how you aren't, is moronic.

Oh, and BTW: Please stop spewing that fucking adolescent-level homility everywhere; your particular brand of it is just too revoltingly saccharine -- and above all, naive -- to stomach.