Post #266,689
9/5/06 10:16:05 AM
|
I'm holding together.
First off, thank you to the people who did talk to me in the aftermath and helped me calm down a bit.
[link|http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/283608_bus02.html|http://seattlepi.nws...283608_bus02.html]
[link|http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/cgi-bin/texis.cgi/web/vortex/display?slug=bus01m&date=20060901&query=metro|http://archives.seat...60901&query=metro]
As some of you know, I was a firsthand witness to this. The victim died instantly from wounds so horrific they still weren't certain of the gender of the victim the next morning. I can't really say much more about the incident itself, as I may be called to testify in a trial. I do know I did everything I could, both for the victim (nothing, but I can't go into details here) and for the survivors.
What I can say is that I've been totally off my game. The idea of pancakes and pizza makes me nauseated. I've dropped out of my D&D group; even simulated violence makes me ill right now. Video games are totally off the chart of possibilities. I'm pretty shy, and I do my best dancing when I've got friends there, but I'm still able to ask people to dance - but Sunday I only danced with a classmate of mine who showed up, and Monday night I didn't dance at all, just walked out about half an hour later when nobody I knew showed up.
I'm supposed to be getting ready for work right now. I'm kind of stumbling through a daze, I'll hop in the shower and make myself some breakfast, then stumble into work probably half an hour late.
I found myself wishing S. was here this weekend - somebody I could just hold close and cry and make me feel better about things. Instead, I have to rely on the inconstant comfort of the few remaining friends I have locally.
Hurt me if you must, but let the duckie go!
|
Post #266,694
9/5/06 10:37:02 AM
|
Remember, hon, it's all normal
You have to go through it to get through it. You may have to force yourself into normalcy, but do it. Even if it means just going through the motions. Little by little things will start to feel more normal and real.
Remember a few years back when that guy got beheaded by terrorists and they showed the video all over the net? Well, of course I had to watch it. While watching it I got all sweaty and shakey. It took me several days to feel comfortable going into my office after that because I associated my office with the event. And that was just a video. Give yourself some time.
Big hug for you! Laura.
|
Post #266,696
9/5/06 10:40:54 AM
|
One day at a time, Thane. You'll get through it.
|
Post #266,697
9/5/06 10:41:15 AM
|
Sending good thoughts your way
It'll fade. It sucks now, and will for sometime, but as long as you have a working cannaboid system, it will fade.
|
Post #266,700
9/5/06 11:04:11 AM
|
Dude.
I can't imagine what to say to make you feel better, to help you past this.
Get past it you will, I know.
Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
| |
Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
|
|
Post #266,704
9/5/06 11:12:47 AM
|
thane, perfectly normal reaction
life seems strange, the edges are a little blurry. First thing to remember is to set a schedule and run on automatic for a while. Eat at regular times even if you arnt too hungry. Time is what it takes, take care,
bill
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
|
Post #266,710
9/5/06 12:08:57 PM
|
You just keep on going.
Try not to get too wrapped up in it. Go find some kids to play with.
-----------------------------------------
Impeach Bush. Impeach Cheney. Do it now.
|
Post #266,712
9/5/06 12:22:42 PM
|
So sorry,Thane
Grief and grieving is such a messy ordeal. Just remember that many people care about you and you are strong enough to overcome all the pitfalls that you may encounter.
If you need something to chant to help you get by:
The only way out is through.
You can do it.
Try to Smile,
Amy
|
Post #266,722
9/5/06 12:58:25 PM
|
A snippet of music that's helping me out right now...
There's a swing song called "Sometimes you do the best you can", by Indigo Swing off of their Red Light album. It's a nice upbeat tune, and the lyrics help me to remember I did everything I could. I just wish my life wasn't one fucking big weirdness magnet. I'd like one boring month, please. Extra helpings of boring on the side, too. P.S. Thanks, everybody. It's no crime to eat humility pie
To love your neighbor and get socked in the eye
Even Cagney knew when he needed a hand
Sometimes you do the best you can
There'll be days of silver and evenings of lead
When you're lovin' you're livin' or you're wishin' for dead
You gotta sit down, partner, til you're ready to stand
Sometimes you do the best you can
Well, I've been where you are, and I know the score
It's all you can do to keep your chin off the floor
But if you're wearin' a grin when they hand you your hat
The world's grinnin', too, and baby, that's where it's at
Whoever once said that the world loves a clown
He never had his heart booted all over town
You gotta look up brother, it's part of the plan
Sometimes you do the best you can
Sometimes you do the best you can
Well I've been where you are, and I know the tale
You're ready for rain but it's starting to hail
So today is a lemon, it's over and done
It could be tomorrow is your day in the sun
Whoever once said that silence is gold
She never felt lonely and she never felt old
You gotta ease up sister, dig your man
Sometimes you do the best you can
Sometimes you do the best you can
Sometimes you do the best you can Hurt me if you must, but let the duckie go!
|
Post #266,778
9/5/06 6:42:39 PM
|
Thanks for sharing the song
I know what you mean about the weirdness magnet.
I think it is making the rounds.
Time to see the Voodoo Witch Queen or a Priest: whoever can rid me of the vicious WM.
Smile,
Amy
[link|http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Amy%20Rathman|Pics of the Family]
|
Post #266,735
9/5/06 2:12:35 PM
|
Not much I can add to what has already been said.
Thoughts, prayers, and all that sent your way.
Fly on autopilot for a few days.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. (Herm Albright)
|
Post #266,739
9/5/06 2:21:48 PM
|
wow
cannot imagine seeing something like that happen. Thoughts being sent your way.
Darrell Spice, Jr. Trendy yet complex\nPeople seek me out - though they're not sure why\n[link|http://spiceware.org/gallery/ArtisticOverpass|Artistic Overpass] [link|http://www.spiceware.org/|SpiceWare]
|
Post #266,744
9/5/06 2:29:55 PM
|
I have to ask
What's the statute of limitations on making sick jokes?
Laughter == best medicine, etc.
===
Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
|
Post #266,754
9/5/06 3:39:36 PM
|
Give me a week.
The reason for the pancake thing is that the old Rolemaster crit table result "victim takes a quick trip to pancake land" keeps going through my head. :( Consequently, since I have this continual little comedian going through my head repeating that phrase over 'n over again, I have NO patience right now for humor about the situation.
Hurt me if you must, but let the duckie go!
|
Post #266,762
9/5/06 4:22:35 PM
|
It'll take a while
When I was 19, I was on a bus going to Ottawa which had a head on collision at 100km/h with a Pinto (!) on Hwy 7 outside of Ottawa. The two people in the front seat were killed instantly, but the child in the back seat was still alive. I helped the paramedics and FD take the car apart (along with a few other people from the bus) and got a close up look at the two people in the front seat (the Mom and Dad, literally smashed flat... I won't go into the details but they're nasty as I'm sure you know) as well as how very badly injured the 3yo in the back seat was; internal bleeding, punctured lungs, and legs very badly broken at the least from what I saw. The only reason he didn't die was because the baby seat he was in kept the car he was in from accordianing in around him and crushing him too.
AFAIK, he survived, though I'm sure he went through years of physio.
It took me nearly a year before I didn't have any more wierdnesses from seeing and participating in that. OTOH, I was able to get back to the swing of things almost right away. Remember that you did what you had to do and what you could do; no more can be demanded nor expected.
--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
Post #266,763
9/5/06 4:36:55 PM
|
Thank you for sharing that story.
|
Post #266,766
9/5/06 4:45:51 PM
|
Remembering it is still affecting
OTOH, that means that I've managed to retain my humanity so far, so that's a good thing.
--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
Post #266,765
9/5/06 4:44:53 PM
|
I hope things go well for you
and they figure out exactly why that guy did it and what happened and why. A court trial should be able to decide that.
Any normal human being would react like that to a real event, and yes it is a scary thing to see someone die that way.
I've played D&D, Traveller, and other RPGs that simulate violence. Only I knew that they were just paper and pencil and dice, fake violence, acting, etc. At the end of the session nobody really died and nobody really got hurt (except for hurt feelings if someone loses in the game or their character dies). It might be good advice to avoid simulated violence, and not watch the news and other things with violence in them for a while.
"It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese."
Carl Sagan (1934 - 1996)
[link|http://district268.xormad.com|I am from District 268].
|
Post #266,795
9/6/06 2:15:58 AM
|
You'll learn to deal
I don't think we ever 'get over' such an event, we merely learn to deal with it. I've seen a couple of gruesome accidents - the first few weeks are strange, but then you remember you still have your life to live.
Thoughts and prayers with you.
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
|
Post #266,810
9/6/06 10:05:52 AM
|
VERY sorry to hear!
Horrific trauma can be assimilated through senses other than touch. Your pain is real, and one thing about pain is that (with therapy, the type depending on the kind of pain), it can and will heal. Like the rest of the posters here, I'm sending you my best wishes and thoughts for your healing.
jb4
"So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't."
— Stephen Colbert, at the White House Correspondent's Dinner 29Apr06
|
Post #266,862
9/6/06 8:24:27 PM
|
I know you did all you could Thane
And I know it has imprinted the images on your mind, and you fear that they might never go away.
But they will, someday, or they will at least fade into tolerable levels.
I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
Brenda
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." -- By Geoffrey F. Abert
****************************
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind, don't matter - and those who matter, don't mind." -- By Dr. Seuss
***********************************
"Sometimes it takes a whole lot more strength to walk away than to stand there and fight." -- By the character of John Abbott: said on Young & Restless on 5/19/06
*********************************
|
Post #266,887
9/7/06 1:46:52 AM
|
you're holding together...
you're doing well. If that didn't affect you, you would be badly outta kilter. it will take time for the shock to wear off. in the meantime, take it easy and try to do the things you normally do. eventually, you'll find you won't have to try any more....
Have fun,
Carl Forde
|
