Insults are just so damned compelling aren't they?
#1.
an alternative that bathes
Yep, all Dems are hippies. Unloyal and cowardly, and stinky. Don't forget the stinky. (Even those of us who served in the infantry. Or perhaps especially considering the lack of laundry in the field.)
#2
can actually stay on one side of an issue for 15 minutes
Steadfast in opposition to new facts is the only way to go.
#3
isn't in the entertainment business (sax players count)
I may have to withdraw this comment as an insult in case Beep actually looks up to those in the entertainmant industry.
#4
can say "lockbox" without making 55% of the people laugh uncontrollably
* this is a good one. You have to break it down into its elements to get to the germ. I'll cut to the chase though; Gore was an egghead. Neener neener neener.
*<ob counterinsult> like Bush can even *pronounce* lockbox