I get what life and G_d gives me
Besides (in the words of those choosing other approaches to unAnswerable questions) - whatever you earnestly and consistently desire, you will get. Often summarized, "be careful of what you wish for because.."
I wish for world peace, but it never happens. We don't always get what we want, and have to settle for what life or G_d gives us. Somewhere down the path of like, G_d had decided that I would become a programmer and develop in Microsoft technology, it was also decided that I would suffer from a great mental depression that will limit my abilities and at times drive me to almost self-destruction. I desire not to suffer from this, but such is life for me to suffer. It shows that I am not in control, nor do I always get what I want. People also take advantage of my good nature, and I can help others but it seems like I cannot help myself or I have a hard time trying to help myself. But things can change, you never know what the future will throw at you.