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IWETHEY Home / IWETHEY Board / Religion, Philosophy, Metaphysics Forum / When in doubt...
Post #214,153
by imqwerky
Picture of imqwerky
7/11/05 9:31:55 AM
Reply
New When in doubt...
......always choose happiness, Young Grasshopper :)




Peace,
Amy

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy shit, what a ride!'"

.
Post #214,154
by ben_tilly
7/11/05 9:39:38 AM
Reply
New Cross a Unitarian and a Jehova's Witness and what happens?
You get someone standing at your door who doesn't know why they are there.

Cheers,
Ben

PS The odd wording of the question was to make it fit in the subject line.
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
Post #214,155
by imqwerky
Picture of imqwerky
7/11/05 9:50:20 AM
7/11/05 10:08:50 AM
Reply
New Re: X a unitarian w/a Jehovah's witness....
Funny! :)

But here's something else for your enjoyment/enlightment:

* Taoism: Shit happens.
* Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
* Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
* Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
* Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
* Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
* Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
* Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
* Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
* Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
* Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
* Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
* Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
* Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
* Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
* Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
* Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
* Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
* Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
* Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
* Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
* Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
* Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
* Creationism: God made all shit.
* Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
* Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
* Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
* Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
* Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
* Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
* Darwinism: This shit was once food.
* Capitalism: That's MY shit.
* Communism: It's everybody's shit.
* Feminism: Men are shit.
* Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
* Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
* Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
* Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
* Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
* Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
* Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
* Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
* Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
* Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
* Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
* Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
* Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
* Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
* Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
* Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
* Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
* Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
* Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
* Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
* Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
* Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
* Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
* Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
* Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
* Atheism: What shit?
* Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
* Nihilism: No shit.

* And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy shit, what a ride!'"

.

Expand Edited by imqwerky July 11, 2005, 10:08:50 AM EDT
Expand All History
Post #214,156
by ben_tilly
7/11/05 9:53:25 AM
Reply
New What's with the crappy humor?
If you take a Mormon fishing, why should you take at least 2?




















If you take just one he'll drink all your beer.

Cheers,
Ben
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
Post #214,157
by imqwerky
Picture of imqwerky
7/11/05 10:03:39 AM
Reply
New "Wipe" that smile off your face
you know it was funny. And you already told me the Mormon joke at the Beep Bash. C'mon, Ben, you can do better than that. :) Dig deep. Use The Force, Young TillyWalker.


Peace,
Amy

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy shit, what a ride!'"

.
Post #214,158
by ChrisR
7/11/05 10:12:36 AM
Reply
New A sh** eating grin?
He just doesn't like being "dumped" on.
Post #214,180
by ben_tilly
7/11/05 11:01:25 AM
Reply
New You have to expect... (new thread)
Created as new thread #214179 titled [link|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=214179|You have to expect...]
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
Post #214,176
by imric
7/11/05 10:55:47 AM
Reply
New Just heard that about Baptists...
[link|http://www.runningworks.com|
]
Imric's Tips for Living
  • Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
  • Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
  • Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.


Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
 
 


Post #214,254
by Ashton
7/11/05 3:06:09 PM
Reply
New Verily I say unto thee, my Daughter -
that be some baaaad shit.
Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time.





Oh.. and - be careful out there, today!
I hear that shit-eating dogs are loose all across the State..





You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
-- John Greier
Post #214,174
by imric
7/11/05 10:52:48 AM
Reply
New ROFL - shoulda used that at the bash!
[link|http://www.runningworks.com|
]
Imric's Tips for Living
  • Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
  • Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
  • Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.


Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
 
 


Post #214,182
by imqwerky
Picture of imqwerky
7/11/05 11:08:34 AM
Reply
New Thanks
But I couldn't remember all that shit! Ha ha.

Saw it first on a tshirt in New Braunfels, TX. Laughed till I shit. Har de har.

Then I found this guy's website [link|http://www.thejaywalker.com/pages/shit_happens.html|http://www.thejaywal...shit_happens.html]

I think he needs to put Southern Baptists and Church of Christ on there, but I'm still formulating their credos to fit the schemata.

Got a couple of good jokes tho:

#1) Q: Why don't members of the Church of Christ screw standing up?
A: Because it's too much like dancing!

#2) Catholics don't recognize marriages outside the church, Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah, and Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy shit, what a ride!'"

.
     Speaking of Volcanoes - (folkert) - (47) - July 8, 2005, 12:15:37 PM EDT
         Is that you, Tom Cruise? -NT - (ben_tilly) - July 8, 2005, 12:21:23 PM EDT
         You will perish in flames, subcreature! - (ChrisR) - (1) - July 8, 2005, 12:27:30 PM EDT
             Are you the Keymaster? -NT - (imqwerky) - July 8, 2005, 03:13:23 PM EDT
         ..have to Be There to get the full flavour - - (Ashton) - July 8, 2005, 07:21:48 PM EDT
         How to make money; Invent a religion - (Silverlock) - (42) - July 8, 2005, 10:08:29 PM EDT
             I've heard a variation - (ben_tilly) - (41) - July 8, 2005, 10:14:02 PM EDT
                 Heinlein founded a religion? - (Silverlock) - (40) - July 8, 2005, 10:27:52 PM EDT
                     secular humanism, didnt appear to make as much as Elron -NT - (boxley) - (2) - July 8, 2005, 10:41:27 PM EDT
                         I doubt he was the founder. - (Silverlock) - (1) - July 8, 2005, 10:55:19 PM EDT
                             here ya go - (boxley) - July 8, 2005, 11:07:52 PM EDT
                     Church of All Worlds - (ben_tilly) - (36) - July 8, 2005, 11:13:20 PM EDT
                         And now for something completely different..... - (imqwerky) - (35) - July 9, 2005, 02:25:51 PM EDT
                             gotta get deep in that pile before you find christian - (boxley) - (6) - July 9, 2005, 04:23:01 PM EDT
                                 And look at mine! - (broomberg) - (2) - July 9, 2005, 05:33:11 PM EDT
                                     bah! not a bloodletter in the bunch :-) -NT - (boxley) - July 9, 2005, 05:40:34 PM EDT
                                     Scary. - (Another Scott) - July 9, 2005, 06:00:06 PM EDT
                                 Petty high on your Islam count there, Box . . . - (Andrew Grygus) - (2) - July 9, 2005, 10:11:01 PM EDT
                                     ICLRPD (new thread) - (Steve Lowe) - July 9, 2005, 11:00:34 PM EDT
                                     Islam is Judaism rewritten by a OTR camel jockey - (boxley) - July 11, 2005, 10:35:49 AM EDT
                             Now that is different. - (folkert) - July 9, 2005, 06:59:58 PM EDT
                             I think it needs just a little work. - (Andrew Grygus) - (2) - July 9, 2005, 10:07:45 PM EDT
                                 Also, lumping "don't believe" with "don't know" seems bogus. -NT - (Another Scott) - July 9, 2005, 08:25:45 PM EDT
                                 havnt heard a C of E sermon in a while have you - (boxley) - July 11, 2005, 10:38:38 AM EDT
                             Pretty much as expected - (Steve Lowe) - (1) - July 9, 2005, 09:41:22 PM EDT
                                 I guess that makes you a Mainline Protestant, don't it? -NT - (jb4) - July 11, 2005, 02:35:01 PM EDT
                             Another Unitarian (surprised?) - (ben_tilly) - (11) - July 9, 2005, 11:27:04 PM EDT
                                 When in doubt... - (imqwerky) - (10) - July 11, 2005, 09:31:55 AM EDT
                                     Cross a Unitarian and a Jehova's Witness and what happens? - (ben_tilly) - (9) - July 11, 2005, 09:39:38 AM EDT
                                         Re: X a unitarian w/a Jehovah's witness.... - (imqwerky) - (6) - July 11, 2005, 10:08:50 AM EDT
                                             What's with the crappy humor? - (ben_tilly) - (4) - July 11, 2005, 09:53:25 AM EDT
                                                 "Wipe" that smile off your face - (imqwerky) - (2) - July 11, 2005, 10:03:39 AM EDT
                                                     A sh** eating grin? - (ChrisR) - July 11, 2005, 10:12:36 AM EDT
                                                     You have to expect... (new thread) - (ben_tilly) - July 11, 2005, 11:01:25 AM EDT
                                                 Just heard that about Baptists... -NT - (imric) - July 11, 2005, 10:55:47 AM EDT
                                             Verily I say unto thee, my Daughter - - (Ashton) - July 11, 2005, 03:06:09 PM EDT
                                         ROFL - shoulda used that at the bash! -NT - (imric) - (1) - July 11, 2005, 10:52:48 AM EDT
                                             Thanks - (imqwerky) - July 11, 2005, 11:08:34 AM EDT
                             First question is missing an answer - (Silverlock) - (1) - July 11, 2005, 01:49:03 PM EDT
                                 Yoko and me. That's reality. -NT - (Another Scott) - July 11, 2005, 02:15:13 PM EDT
                             Unitarian Protestant Hindu Pagan Buddist. - (bionerd) - (1) - July 11, 2005, 02:17:03 PM EDT
                                 ICLRPD (new thread) - (Steve Lowe) - July 12, 2005, 02:27:52 AM EDT
                             Hoo-boy! - (jb4) - July 11, 2005, 02:32:33 PM EDT
                             I've done that one before. - (static) - July 11, 2005, 10:54:39 PM EDT
                             Odd mix I think - (tuberculosis) - (3) - July 12, 2005, 01:31:03 AM EDT
                                 A very low Islam count . . - (Andrew Grygus) - (1) - July 12, 2005, 02:37:12 AM EDT
                                     With such a low count - (tuberculosis) - July 12, 2005, 12:07:01 PM EDT
                                 We came out pretty much the same in the top 10 - (bionerd) - July 12, 2005, 09:35:40 AM EDT

Severity set to `grave'.
78 ms