Two bartenders are standing behind the bar ....
.....and they are bored as
hell because there are only two customers in the bar tonight.
Trying to make conversation, one of the bartenders says to the
other, "I wasn't originally supposed to be a bartender you know"
"Oh really?" replies the second.
"Oh no, I was supposed to be a psychologist......got myself a degree
and everythin'".
"What is that?" asks the second "psychology I mean"
"Well", replies the first "it works like this. You ask a person questions,
and from the answers they give you.......you deduce certain things about
the person"
"Oh come off it" says the second "thats bullshit".
"Okay " says the first "watch this then".
The bartender meanders down to one end of the bar where one of the
drinkers is sitting.
"Scuse me sir" he says
"What? says the man.
"Can I ask you a few questions"
"I suppose so" he answers.
"I was wondering if you owned a shed?"
"What?"
"Do you own a shed?"
"Yes, why?"
"Well.......if you own a shed.....its reasonable to assume that you
have a garden to put the shed in. Do you have a garden?"
"Why yes I do" says the man
"And if you have a garden....I would say that its very likely that you
have a house"
"Right again" says the man.
"And if you have a house, I would suspect that you are married and have
a wife"
"That's right!" says the man.
"And if you have a wife" says the bartender "you probably get sex on
a frequent basis, don't you?"
"Yes!" replies the man.
"You don't masturbate very often do you?" asks the bartender.
"No hardly at all" says the man, rather proudly.
At this point the bartender swaggers back to the other one with a big
smile on his face. "See how much I managed to learn starting with just
one simple question......that's how psychology works"
"That's $!@%ing brilliant that is!" exclaims the other. "Let me try".
So the second bartender walks down the bar to the other customer.
"Scuse me sir" he says.
"Yes?" says the man.
"Do you own a shed?"
"No" says the man.
The bartender thinks this over for a few seconds then declares
"you must be a real wanker!"
