Post #183,189
11/6/04 12:04:48 AM
11/6/04 12:07:00 AM
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Re: If that don't beat all.
Excellent description of a working Marriage. Better you are happy with him like that and you like you. Finding your "1's compliment" is a challenge in and of itself. I found mine, my wife Karen. She found hers, me. Now go have some fucking fun! Okay! I did, thanks. :) I avoided the computer most of the day after dealing with the extreme mess in my own group. And get this? John checked out the link I wanted to be on, and apparently they've repaired their site and changed things to be more acceptable... so I get to join it! Yay!!!! My guess is that when it was in disrepair (it had crashed severely), the guidelines and such were not as accessible and all we could get was whatever was availble which wasn't the privacy policy. :) So now I owe two good things to you guys, a new brand of Orange Juice that I really love, and being able to get on the site I've wanted on for months, because you made me go look for what was keeping me off it. ;) Just give me strength.... in the other matter (in FQ), cause he's pulling out all the stops.... Willpower... I need sh*tloads of willpower.... Help me guys, don't let me break.... Brenda Edit: added obligtory flame. ;)
"It's not where a person stands in time of comfort and security, but rather where they stand in times of strife and controversy that determine true friends."
(Quote sent to me by a true friend, author unknown).
Edited by Nightowl
Nov. 6, 2004, 12:07:00 AM EST
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Post #183,198
11/6/04 12:47:03 AM
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Might be time to be succinct.
"Dear Norm.
Fuck off.
Love,
Brenda."
Peter
[link|http://www.debian.org|Shill For Hire]
[link|http://www.kuro5hin.org|There is no K5 Cabal]
[link|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org|Home]
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Post #183,201
11/6/04 1:00:52 AM
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That's the problem
I did just that.
He's now in is "I don't want to live state"
I'm doing my best to ignore it. I'm not calling anyone. I'm not going to give in. I'm calling his bluff.... not responding.
But DAMN, it's not easy.
Brenda
"It's not where a person stands in time of comfort and security, but rather where they stand in times of strife and controversy that determine true friends."
(Quote sent to me by a true friend, author unknown).
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Post #183,205
11/6/04 1:07:02 AM
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That's the best plan.
I would also suggest configuring your email program to delete, unread, any mail from him.
Ignoring people is easiest when automated.
Peter
[link|http://www.debian.org|Shill For Hire]
[link|http://www.kuro5hin.org|There is no K5 Cabal]
[link|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org|Home]
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Post #183,208
11/6/04 1:11:42 AM
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nope, dump it unread into the evidence folder
that way too many Iraqis conceived of free society as little more than a mosh pit with grenades. ANDISHEH NOURAEE
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Post #183,212
11/6/04 1:19:26 AM
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"Evidence"?
You’re not seriously suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, are you?
Peter
[link|http://www.debian.org|Shill For Hire]
[link|http://www.kuro5hin.org|There is no K5 Cabal]
[link|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org|Home]
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Post #183,215
11/6/04 9:20:20 AM
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no, in case of denial issues,
that way too many Iraqis conceived of free society as little more than a mosh pit with grenades. ANDISHEH NOURAEE
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Post #183,222
11/6/04 10:34:01 AM
11/6/04 10:36:44 AM
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Don't worry
Ever since this mess started with him (pulling this) in 2002, I have kept everything pertinent to it.
He really is pushing it this morning.... now he has "people" (most likely aliases), posting that he died.
Willpower... I must have willpower.
Brenda
Edit: changed people to aliases.
"It's not where a person stands in time of comfort and security, but rather where they stand in times of strife and controversy that determine true friends."
(Quote sent to me by a true friend, author unknown).
Edited by Nightowl
Nov. 6, 2004, 10:36:44 AM EST
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Post #183,227
11/6/04 10:41:33 AM
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will power, me too
almost want to go to your site and poke sticks at the aliases.
regards,
daemon
that way too many Iraqis conceived of free society as little more than a mosh pit with grenades. ANDISHEH NOURAEE
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Post #183,228
11/6/04 11:06:53 AM
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It's actually on Affinity
the Yahoo site for Affinity, not mine. I didn't let any suicidal posts through last night and I'm not approving any weird new members today either.
Yep... willpower.....
But if anyone wants the links, I'll be happy to provide the link. Affinity is public, and not restricted, and the supposed message is on his stumbleupon site or whatever it is. I haven't read it yet.
Brenda
"It's not where a person stands in time of comfort and security, but rather where they stand in times of strife and controversy that determine true friends."
(Quote sent to me by a true friend, author unknown).
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Post #183,230
11/6/04 11:19:45 AM
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I'll live :-) no thanks
that way too many Iraqis conceived of free society as little more than a mosh pit with grenades. ANDISHEH NOURAEE
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Post #183,210
11/6/04 1:17:04 AM
11/6/04 11:12:41 AM
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The only hard part
Is I haven't thrown him out of my group, because it's not my policy to ban people. So I've instructed the members to ignore him, and I'm doing my best to do same. It's just hard. But if I throw him out, he'll just get his persecution "fix" and make new IDs and try again, so I'm trying to get him to just leave on his own.
If that fails, I'll have to do something more drastic. But telling myself not to care is drastic enough at the moment, and hard enough to do. Still, I think I'll make a stronger case if he stays in and I ignore him, (he is on moderation, so the suicidal posts are not getting through), than if I throw him out, that I mean business.
And I apologize for this topic overall, but I know if there's any people out there that can get me through this first time of "not responding to his cries for help" it's you guys....
After tonight, he if doesn't actually do it, I'll be fine on my own, I believe. You only have to call their bluff once... been there before, but the first time is the hardest.
Brenda
Edit: changed wording in last paragraph, it was not appropriate.
Edit: After posting this I realized that blocking him is really not going to help much anyway, because he has far too many very real offline avenues of reaching me. Nope, I think the best thing is to give him no response. It's just going to take a lot of strength and willpower.
Edit: fixed second to last paragraph.
"It's not where a person stands in time of comfort and security, but rather where they stand in times of strife and controversy that determine true friends."
(Quote sent to me by a true friend, author unknown).
Edited by Nightowl
Nov. 6, 2004, 01:18:42 AM EST
Edited by Nightowl
Nov. 6, 2004, 02:22:14 AM EST
Edited by Nightowl
Nov. 6, 2004, 11:12:41 AM EST
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Post #183,213
11/6/04 3:53:49 AM
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I believe the relevant term is "borderline"
go do a google search. Very hard to deal with... you just need to get out.
--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------
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Post #183,223
11/6/04 10:35:23 AM
11/6/04 10:37:27 AM
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Believe me, I'm trying to get out
I'm not going to call anyone to see if he really did it. If he really did it, someone will eventually call me.
I'm not playing this game anymore.
I still can't believe "he" has posted that he killed himself... I thought I'd seen it all.
Brenda
Edit: P.S. And I think I know what borderline means, but I'll read the definition anyway. :) Thanks.
"It's not where a person stands in time of comfort and security, but rather where they stand in times of strife and controversy that determine true friends."
(Quote sent to me by a true friend, author unknown).
Edited by Nightowl
Nov. 6, 2004, 10:37:27 AM EST
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Post #183,234
11/6/04 12:06:43 PM
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I think that a walk was being suggested
As in, "You need to decompress, get away from that computer, and experience the outside." Very relaxing when one is caught in rounds of flaming.
Cheers,
Ben
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #183,236
11/6/04 12:10:19 PM
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I fully realize that
but I'm trying to finish writing the monthly letter first, it's getting later and later and I need to check things online to do it, but man, I intend to finish it and hide away from online a little today. ;)
Brenda
"It's not where a person stands in time of comfort and security, but rather where they stand in times of strife and controversy that determine true friends."
(Quote sent to me by a true friend, author unknown).
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Post #183,239
11/6/04 12:18:06 PM
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Not just a walk
We had an interesting case up here recently, which resulted in the destruction of a doctor's career, of a woman with borderline personality disorder. Basically, borderline means "almost psychotic". I don't think owl has the means and/or training to deal with the Poster In Question. She just needs to get him out of her life. If I were her, I'd boot him from the forum. If he calls, hang up.
John could do a lot to cool NK off too... sometimes a little talk while holding the proverbial big stick (ie- Hi Gorm, this is my little friend the baseball bat. If you keep bugging my wife, you're going to get to know him a lot better) can do a lot to moderate people's bad behaviour.
--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------
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Post #183,242
11/6/04 12:39:40 PM
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Re: Not just a walk
We had an interesting case up here recently, which resulted in the destruction of a doctor's career, of a woman with borderline personality disorder. Basically, borderline means "almost psychotic". I don't think owl has the means and/or training to deal with the Poster In Question. She just needs to get him out of her life. If I were her, I'd boot him from the forum. If he calls, hang up. I am, I'm doing all I can to get him out of my life, but it's probably going to continue to get worse for a few days before it gets better. At least I'm prepared for that. He blamed me (among others) in his "letter" and he linked it back to my group, here and other places. I have caller ID, I won't answer. I will not respond or I'll never get away. John could do a lot to cool NK off too... sometimes a little talk while holding the proverbial big stick (ie- Hi Gorm, this is my little friend the baseball bat. If you keep bugging my wife, you're going to get to know him a lot better) can do a lot to moderate people's bad behaviour. Hehee, John isn't really prone to violence, but he would if it became necessary, I'm sure. He's being my strength right now, helping me to keep my willpower. I can't abandon the internet, and I won't, I have too many other things there that mean a lot to me, so I have to block out the problem... and his stupid IWT 12 step counselor who is also playing the game and not helping me. I want them both out of my life, and I'm doing all I can to stop them. Booting them out of my group will be the last resort. Moderation and then no posts will be first. That way I don't have to go back on my policy of not banning people unless I've tried everything else. And I'm not leaving Affinity, I'm just ignoring things there. No one is driving me off there. Besides, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and every hour I continue to ignore him and Tony, is another hour of gained strength and confidence. I know you all are sick of the whole subject, and again I apologize for that, but you are providing additional strength for me to do this, and I really and truly appreciate that. Now... to get this letter written and escape awhile. :) Brenda
"It's not where a person stands in time of comfort and security, but rather where they stand in times of strife and controversy that determine true friends."
(Quote sent to me by a true friend, author unknown).
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Post #183,240
11/6/04 12:20:32 PM
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To paraphrase James Carville slightly
Is Norman drowning? Throw him an anvil.
cordially,
Die Welt ist alles, was der Fall ist.
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Post #183,268
11/6/04 6:59:25 PM
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Here's my take
SHUT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE, PARTICULARLY YOU, BIRDBRAIN!
-drl
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