Read my response to you below

Post #162,341 by ben_tilly 6/30/04 6:48:44 PM Reply	Read my response to you below That she'll fall in love I fully expect. That everything progresses from there in a neat and simple way, I don't. And I firmly believe that the myth of "true love" will make it less likely that things will turn out well for her in the long run. Cheers, Ben To deny the indirect purchaser, who in this case is the ultimate purchaser, the right to seek relief from unlawful conduct, would essentially remove the word consumer from the Consumer Protection Act - [link\|http://www.techworld.com/opsys/news/index.cfm?NewsID=1246&Page=1&pagePos=20\|Nebraska Supreme Court]
Post #162,380 by mmoffitt 6/30/04 11:07:03 PM Reply	Haven't read below, but I think I see the nub. ...the myth of "true love"... That is the real point of disagreement between us. I do not consider it a myth as I have experienced it myself. 'Tis a true pity you (apparently) have not. bcnu, Mikem If you can read this, you are not the President.
Post #162,383 by drewk 6/30/04 11:18:25 PM Reply	There is the reality, there is also the myth The over-romanticized myth of true love is usually viewed as fitting hand-in-hand with the equally mythic "love at first sight". The idea that "from the moment I saw him ... blah blah blah" and that everything magically becomes perfect between them. That, I believe, is the myth Ben is talking about. === Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
Post #162,392 by mmoffitt 6/30/04 11:38:30 PM Reply	And the "myth" I actually experienced. After the first date with my wife, I told my best friend that I'd met the girl I knew I was going to marry. I'd actually never felt anything approximating a similar feeling - and I'd been engaged before to anothere. So, if I am propagating myths to my children, I am doing so unwittingly. bcnu, Mikem If you can read this, you are not the President.
Post #162,396 by drewk 6/30/04 11:48:36 PM Reply	Sincere question Do you believe that a marriage must be based on the sort of feeling you had/have for your wife? I don't believe I love my wife any less for having dated her for a while before I realized I wanted to marry her. I suspect there are more people who came to be married the way I did than like you did. I'm also absolutely convinced that there are far more people who think they've found "the one" after only one date and turn out to be wrong than there are like you who were right. === Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
Post #162,397 by mmoffitt 6/30/04 11:58:41 PM Reply	Must? No. It had to be that way in my case because I'd decided to never marry before I went on that first date with my wife. Had I not felt that way, I would most likely never have married. I don't believe you love your wife any more or any less than I do. I can't know that, nor is it any of my business. If I try to articulate what I think about marriage it would be that I could not imagine, personally, getting married to anyone whom I did not feel about the way I feel about my wife. And that really did happen to me only once. That doesn't mean a damned thing for anyone else. Interestingly, my wife doesn't understand this aspect of our relationship at all. She claims she still can't believe how certain I was so quickly. But, hey, it'll be 21 years in September, so I guess my "method" worked - for us. ;-) It may well be the case that no one came to decide whom to marry the way I did. I don't know - guys usually don't talk about this stuff ;0) bcnu, Mikem If you can read this, you are not the President.
Post #162,398 by drewk 7/1/04 12:02:14 AM Reply	Heh, must've seen too much Lifetime with my wife === Implicitly condoning stupidity since 2001.
Post #162,400 by mmoffitt 7/1/04 12:06:01 AM Reply	She makes you watch that too? Thought it was only me ;0) bcnu, Mikem If you can read this, you are not the President.
Post #162,406 by ben_tilly 7/1/04 12:38:44 AM Reply	There's more to your experience than that When you tell your marriage as a "happily ever after" story, you're glossing over the fact that maintaining the relationship has taken ongoing effort and work. Or did you really never get into arguments with your wife? Really? Cheers, Ben To deny the indirect purchaser, who in this case is the ultimate purchaser, the right to seek relief from unlawful conduct, would essentially remove the word consumer from the Consumer Protection Act - [link\|http://www.techworld.com/opsys/news/index.cfm?NewsID=1246&Page=1&pagePos=20\|Nebraska Supreme Court]
Post #162,408 by mmoffitt 7/1/04 12:44:41 AM Reply	Of course not. Only a fool (or one who has never been married) thinks that its all wine and roses. It does take "work" if one extends the word "work" to include not taking each other for granted - as you noted somewhere in this horrendous thread. But, do you think an 11 yo would "get" that? But that does not speak to how I "chose" my wife. If I understand you correctly, you do not believe that it is possible for a person to have the experience I had. But I did have it, so it is very "real" to me. (This reminds me of a conversation we had years ago at IWE concerning religion). bcnu, Mikem If you can read this, you are not the President.
Post #162,405 by ben_tilly 7/1/04 12:35:44 AM Reply	Exactly To deny the indirect purchaser, who in this case is the ultimate purchaser, the right to seek relief from unlawful conduct, would essentially remove the word consumer from the Consumer Protection Act - [link\|http://www.techworld.com/opsys/news/index.cfm?NewsID=1246&Page=1&pagePos=20\|Nebraska Supreme Court]
Post #162,778 by Nightowl 7/4/04 3:12:28 PM Reply	Re: There is the reality, there is also the myth The over-romanticized myth of true love is usually viewed as fitting hand-in-hand with the equally mythic "love at first sight". The idea that "from the moment I saw him ... blah blah blah" and that everything magically becomes perfect between them. That, I believe, is the myth Ben is talking about. Interestingly enough, that is only one side to the myth. Most people don't truly believe that you fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Most people I've talked to realize that marriage is a lot of work, but the work can reap its rewards if you do it right, and if you handle it in that manner, it can be a "happy ever after" of sorts, just not happy all the time ever after. Love is something that is supposed to sustain you in good and bad times, and you aren't likely to be happy in bad ones. I think if Mmoffitt has given his daughter a more grounded view of the "myth" i.e. "you will maybe fall in love with someone and he will be the one for you, but life does not become a fairy tale hereafter, it takes give and take to make a happy marriage," he's definitely on the right track here. Nightowl >8# "At last, a moment's peace!"

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