Don't be so "midwest nice"

Post #135,467 by jbrabeck 1/13/04 1:20:23 PM Reply	Don't be so "midwest nice" Was going to say Minnesota Nice. There is no need to reply to EVERY post. You don't need to say thank you EVERY time someone says something to you. (see above post) I just checked the user stats. You have been here a year. You just passed dmarker who has been here since 2001 and are closing in on Arkadiy, who also joined in 2001. Your personal conversations would be better served via email instead of the open forum. (Which has been said before.) WRT "prayer". I interpret "I'll keep you in my prayers" to be a sign of concern and would NOT discourage you using it. May upset some people, but offer comfort to others. On the whole, bring something to your posts. I'm not interested in your local fire, weather, Shrub visits, or other events, unless the event has a greater meaning. end of rant... "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever." 1 Peter 1:24-25
Post #135,574 by Nightowl 1/13/04 10:37:04 PM 1/13/04 10:39:17 PM Reply	One more thing to decide -- the issue of praying And I'm done with this research. Regarding several comments in jrabeck's post: Was going to say Minnesota Nice. There is no need to reply to EVERY post. You don't need to say thank you EVERY time someone says something to you. (see above post) I am trying to do less of that. In this case I mostly thanked people so that they knew that I got what they said, or finally understood their points. Your personal conversations would be better served via email instead of the open forum. (Which has been said before.) Well Norman and I have moved ours to his IWT Yahoo group. I prefer not to make a bunch of back and forth emails on a daily basis, because I save and store all my mail, and it becomes quite a job. So we moved it to his group. As for anyone else, I don't know how to write anyone else on here other than Scott, and I would have to ask them before emailing them. They also might not want my email, so that has to be considered. But your point is noted and gotten. That brings us to the final, slightly sticky issue... praying for people who are ill or need a job, etc. WRT "prayer". I interpret "I'll keep you in my prayers" to be a sign of concern and would NOT discourage you using it. May upset some people, but offer comfort to others. I could change the wording if it is the word "prayer" or "praying" that upsets people. I could say any number of things from, "I'll keep you in my thoughts and intercessions." to "I'll include you on my list" to any number of other things that don't include the word prayer. IF no one objects to that, I'll give that a try. If it still offends people, I'll find a way that does not. Thanks for the input... If anyone has anything to add about any of these final items, particularly the prayer one, please do. I will end this thread tonight when I go to bed, if not sooner, unless something opens it up again that must be addressed. I appreciate your patience while I gathered this information and researched the problems. Brenda Nightowl >8# P.S. As an aside, if you stated you had a satanic ritual with me in mind, I would not be offended. I figure it is your way of things. Edit: changed subject line. "It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences." Harry S. Truman "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Timothy Bentley Edited by Nightowl Jan. 13, 2004, 10:39:17 PM EST Expand All History
Post #135,580 by ben_tilly 1/14/04 12:20:05 AM Reply	Know who you are talking to before offering prayers When it comes to personal prayer, I find it annoying. If you are talking to me, then don't offer. Offering to pray only tells me, "This person hasn't paid enough attention to see that I won't like this." However good the intention may be, it is overwhelmed by the demonstration that you haven't cared enough to pay attention. I might or might not say anything, but that is how I will feel. I am far from alone in this group in this. OTOH other people here, for instance tseliot and static, are Christians, and undoubtably would appreciate the gesture if an occasion called for it. So offering to keep someone in your prayers isn't necessarily inappropriate, but it will be for some. If you aren't sure, then I'd suggest not doing it. I'd strongly not suggest doing it with me, Christian, Scott... Cheers, Ben "good ideas and bad code build communities, the other three combinations do not" - [link\|http://archives.real-time.com/pipermail/cocoon-devel/2000-October/003023.html\|Stefano Mazzocchi]
Post #135,582 by Nightowl 1/14/04 1:01:37 AM Reply	Very good theoretical solution Problem is it isn't always easy to determine that. Even if someone isn't "religious" sometimes they don't mind prayer. Maybe I'll think of another concept of words entirely that could or not include prayer? I know enough about you from attempting to follow the extra-long religious thread, I believe that I know what you consider yourself to be. However, that doesn't necessarily give me your view on being prayed for by others. This has, of course, but that's not the case with everyone. This might have to be handled in the religion forum if it becomes more tricky, because I promised this thread would end tonight, and that is my intention, to wrap it up before going to bed tonight. However, if anyone misses out on adding input here they can still do so tomorrow or in the coming days, and I will still read it, but most likely not respond unless it's big enough to be handled on it's own. And as another note, please remember that you can always give me input, feedback, tell me what you don't like at ANY time, about any post. If you tell me calmly, clearly and straight up what's wrong, I promise, I'll always listen. (Unless you are just flaming and attacking me, that's not the same). Nightowl >8# "It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences." Harry S. Truman "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Timothy Bentley
Post #135,588 by Nightowl 1/14/04 2:20:16 AM Reply	Here's what I'll do about the prayer issue I've decided to handle the praying issue as such: 1. I will do my best not to indicate actual prayer for anyone whom I am unsure about or know that they do not want it in a post. I will instead include the person in my daily thoughts and concerns, or something like that. 2. IF you ask me to pray for you, or indicate you want prayer, (both have happened before), I will post that I will do it, or give some other indication that you will be prayed for. 3. IF I screw up and mention the word prayer or praying for you before thinking, I apologize in advance, because this will take some real work to change, as it is my nature to post that. So maybe cut me a little slack while I work on that change. :) 4. If this remains an issue of any sort, we'll revisit it later in the religion forum. Fair enough? Nightowl >8# "It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences." Harry S. Truman "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Timothy Bentley
Post #135,589 by Nightowl 1/14/04 2:24:32 AM Reply	And finally, closing this thread. I'm done here now, in this thread. I've obtained the information I needed to become a better iwetheyer. :) If you still have something to say to this thread, as stated before, I will read it and take it under consideration. Otherwise, start a new one to me, or if it's about the prayer issue, maybe it should be replied to in the religion forum. If someone states something in this thread I feel MUST be dealt with or responded to, I'll also do that in another forum or another thread, but only if really really necessary. :) Thank you for your patience, time and input. One of my New Year's Resolutions is to become a better iwetheyer, and this will help. Nightowl >8# "It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences." Harry S. Truman "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Timothy Bentley

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