My annual review came up, and I was told that for being at the firm for four years that I am not being productive enough. That they need someone with a higher skill level. That my communication skills are not good enough, and that I need to improve in many areas. Just last year I was told I was doing great, and only needed to improve in a few areas.

Basically I feel like the goldfish that outgrew the bowel, scared the other goldfish and am now being let go. :(

But it is both a curse and a blessing. A curse in that I will be having finacial hard times if unemployed and may have to settle for a lower paying job. A blessing in that I will be out of that environment, and I hope to learn from my experince there. If I find a higher paying job that will train me to get the better skills I need to advance, then it will have been a blessing. If I get stuck with the same type of job for less pay and it ends up being worse, then it will be a curse.

So the top priority is to make sure that I'll have income coming in. Be that if I have to work extra hours to be more productive and work on my communication skills and try to improve in other areas so I can get out of a 60 day probation period. Or look for another job with the same or better pay, and hope to get a better one. I haven't agressively looked and if I end up unemployed, I am going to have a lot of time on my hands.

I was told that I have three choices:

1. Take the 60 day probationary peroid, and if I mess up even once I am terminated.

2. Resign and get 30 days worth of pay. I am told they would not contest unemployment benefits, but I find that hard to believe.

3. Work for two weeks, clean up the projects and document everything and then get terminated and get two weeks worth of pay.

I must add that I was not told I these things until now. I suspect that the economy must have hit them hard, and me having seniority and four years worth of pay raises (the other programmers quit that got hired before me and went on to other jobs) must have made the lawyers and managers consider getting rid of me first. If I was in a union, I am sure that I wouldn't be in this situation.

So I am cutting out any sort of Internet time at work, I won't even check my email at lunch anymore or read this forum or Experts-Exchange or any others during the day. Goodbye Microsoft Knowledge Base, goodbye Technical support forums, goodbye everything else. I do not want to risk it, I'll have to support everything myself and do it blind. If that means getting out sloppy code with bugs in it to be discovered later like the rest of the programmers, then so be it. It seems the managers are only interested in the time it takes to get a project done, instead of the quality of the project. While other developers might take 6 or more project time slots to fix what I could in 1 time slot, except that mine appears to take longer, then so be it. 6 times slots of 7 days each appears to be shorter than 1 time slot of 30 days in their eyes. I'll only add a few features at a time, as long as I can release workable code. No more adding the entire list at once and taking my time to do it all. IT has just become a Fast Food type industry, I must either adapt or get let go.

Any ideas? I kind of have mixed feelings right now. Consider that I'll be joining the uninstalled at IWETHEY soon.

when they say if I resign I will get unemployment and they will not contest it. An ex-coworker of mine had that happen to him, and he was unable to get his unemployment, he had to appeal and fight for it. Or so he told me.

I do not think that they have been fair and honest with me so far, why should I take 60 days probation when they can make something up or exagerate something (like take what I say out of context) as an excuse to get rid of me, and then say "but we put him on probation and gave him a chance"? Burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice shame on me. What reasons do I have to trust them or believe them now?

Tomorrow I meet with someone from HR, and examine my choices to make a decision. Sort of like them having a gun aimed at me and asking me if I want a bullet in the foot, the groin, or the head.

At this point I am not sure what decision to make. I am glad that they are giving me time to make up my mind, instead of them trying to decide for me or just terminate me on the spot and escourt me off the building.

I talked to the HR Lady today, apparently the doctor notices never made it to my personel file, I even submitted copies of the bills. Despite me telling my supervisor earlier they claimed they didn't know I was ill. Either they are trying to ignore the fact that I was ill, or there is a communication issue with the company. I feel that they should at least be aware of my illness, even if they have not acknowledged it in the past.

I am going to apply for a medical leave or a short term disability due to the depression. My AntiDepressant medicine had been changed and I had side-effects that gave me serious medical problems. I think I need time to adjust to the medicine before I can make a decision this serious in my life. All I have to do is get a letter from my doctor. He left the office for the day, and should call me back on Monday. I should note that I had these problems before the annual review. I am told that I have some sick leave built up, they will fidn out how much. The time off work will depend on what my Doctor thinks.

I am not sure if I can get a job right away, this has all been a lot for me to handle. I feel like a failure, and that I don't have the confidence I once had before I worked for their company. It could be from the depression, or the stress, or maybe just the way the job has gone.

If I take probation, and they decide to fire me, I would still get unemployment, right? I have not signed anything yet. Rumors are flying at work already with people saying I already signed the papers and took the 60 day probation. A coworker confronted me with this, and I told him that I did not sign any probation papers. That is how I found out. That is one of my concerns, if someone spreads an untrue rumor about me signing the papers, what happens to me if while on probation someone spreads another untrue rumor and management believes it?