Two days before Electionism might occur:


Wash DC, Office of the Advisor to the President, speaking from an undisclosed location:

US aircraft to be grounded immediately.

Your Fatherland Security Agency has discovered a plot whereby many psychologically-conditioned Aryans would be boarding aircraft all across Our Beloved Nation -- each carrying one or more rodents to be released surreptitiously, and at a strategic place in the aircraft.

The plot was then, to reveal that this sabotage had been accomplished, but by not divulging the exact flights -- forcing a massive disruption to our Beloved Nation via the grounding of all aircraft, for your comfort, convenience and safety.

Having uncovered this dastardly plot, and after strategic conference with Our President -- who exhibited his unique capacity for instantly deciding -- we have decided to ground all US aircraft, thus preempting this diabolical plan.

-- Somewhere under Washington DC, our Beloved Nation's capital.