Post #222,176
9/1/05 10:56:49 AM
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To whomever is in charge of the universe:
Will you please stop jerking me around?
My ex calls last night to inform me he quit his job, moved to Iowa and got married yesterday. What this means for me: No child support, no health insurance for my kids(which was previously supplied through his employer) and 2 devastated children. Not to mention that I dont have a frickin job, and unemployement doesnt kick in for 2 more weeks. I've been through some rough times before, but this is bad. No money coming in. None. I'm stressed beyond my breaking point.
I knew something was up earlier this week when I got a notice from Blue Cross telling me the kids were cut from the policy. After a few phone calls, I surmised that he quit his job and was up to something. I called my attorney in preparation, enrolled the kids in a state health insurance program and waited for the bomb to drop.
And it dropped. The Ass, in his gin soaked logic, doesnt understand why the kids are upset. He talked to the kids. My son sobbed for hours on the floor. I couldnt console him. What do you say to a child who has come to the realization that he means nothing to his father? He's torn apart and I cant put him back together. I feel like a hole has been ripped in my chest. My daughter is doing much better but I dont think she understands the situation entirely. I kept Mitch home from school today. He's a mess. Cried all night.
This isnt how things are supposed to be! I work hard. I'm educated. I play by the rules. I'm a good employee. I'm a good mother. I dont deserve this.
For balance, I look at the devastation caused by the hurricane and I remind myself I have no business to complain. I ask myself why I think my problems are bigger than those of everyone else and I answer myself 'because their mine'.
My self has a good point.
Send happy thoughts my way, please.
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Post #222,177
9/1/05 11:02:23 AM
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My sympathy goes out to you, in bunches.
That's about all I can do from here. Problem with figuring "It can't get any worse" is that it always can. Hope it gets better real soon.
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #222,178
9/1/05 11:04:06 AM
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Book recommendation.
I'm not recommending you read it for you; I'm recommending you read it for your son.
[link|http://robertmoore-phd.com/0062506064.cfm|King, Warrior, Magician, Lover]
Your son is going to have serious abandonment issues, and without a strong male archetype around for himself to model after, he is going to need some serious help. I went through a lot of the same growing up, albeit for somewhat different reasons, and it took me a while to really recover from it. In some ways, I'm still recovering from it, and I'm in my early thirties. The above book was key in helping me to understand the process of maturation and passing beyond being a boy into manhood.
(Something I think your ex doesn't seem to have done yet, IMO.)
apt-get install godlike-powers
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Post #222,199
9/1/05 12:03:22 PM
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Thank you. I will read it
I worry about the scars my son is going to have from all this. Fortunately, I just got him a mentor, who is going to be needed now more than ever. The mentor is a great guy- Mitchell see's him tomorrow.
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Post #222,211
9/1/05 12:52:00 PM
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Good.
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Post #222,184
9/1/05 11:16:44 AM
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OK.
Happy thoughts on the way.
[link|http://www.runningworks.com|
] Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
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Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
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Post #222,187
9/1/05 11:21:05 AM
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If you find yourself desperate for cash, let me know.
I can throw a franklin your way. My sister is going through a very similar situation so Iknow how tight things can get.
My work email is don dot richards splat pearson dot com
-----------------------------------------
George W. Bush and his PNAC handlers sent the US into Iraq with lies. I find myself rethinking my opposition to the death penalty.
--Donald Dean Richards Jr.
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Post #222,200
9/1/05 12:07:39 PM
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Stop making me cry!
You barely know me and you're offering to give me money? I'm overwhelmed by your kindness. Thank you. At this point my pride is greater than my desperation, but if things continue going downhill I'll keep your offer in mind.
You are a very dear man. Thank you.
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Post #222,417
9/2/05 6:38:50 AM
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Ditto the offer
Got an unexpected birthday present. Am willing to share.
my id at comcast dot net
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
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Post #222,189
9/1/05 11:27:21 AM
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Hang in there.
I understand you're under a lot of stress now, and you can't get blood from a stone, but it's my understanding that him remarrying has nothing to do with his responsibility to pay child support. Michigan seems to have some interesting [link|http://www.divorcenet.com/states/michigan/mi_art09|laws] about moving and child support obligations: Rules of moving out of state have changed over the years and will continue to change. The courts believe the idea that a dad is just as important as a mother. If by moving, either of those relationships is substantially jeopardized, the Court is very likely to deny the move. Cooperation of parties for the benefit of both the custodial and non-custodial parent and the well being of the child are factors to which the Court looks to in deciding to allow or deny the request to move. Courts also look at the educational systems in both places, the cost of living, the crime rates and whether either party has family ties in the proposed new location. The first thing to decide is if the party is planning on moving in state or out of state. Check out the [link|http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/|CSE] as well. The law is on your side. Gather yourself together in a little while and have the state go after him. Let us know if we can do anything for you. We try to help our own. HappyThoughts++ Cheers, Scott.
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Post #222,201
9/1/05 12:10:06 PM
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Doesn't that refer to moving the child away from the parent?
Though I agree with the point that his moving shouldn't affect his support obligation. Although not having a job does.
===
Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
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Post #222,204
9/1/05 12:36:56 PM
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Yup. My bad.
I didn't read that page closely enough. :-( But if he's getting, or will get, unemployment then that has an impact on support. (It's hard to see that happening initially though.) See, e.g., [link|http://www.policyalmanac.org/social_welfare/archive/child_support_02.shtml|this]: Public Law 97-35, the Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1981, requires State child support agencies to determine on a periodic basis whether individuals receiving unemployment compensation owe support obligations that are not being met. The act also requires child support agencies to enforce support obligations in accord with State-developed guidelines for obtaining an agreement with the individual to have a specified amount of support withheld from unemployment compensation or, in the absence of an agreement, for bringing legal proceedings to require the withholding. The child support agency must reimburse the State employment security agency for the administrative costs attributable to withholding unemployment compensation.
The unemployment compensation intercept collected $204 million in fiscal year 1998 (table 8-3). A number of States, especially those with high levels of unemployment, are finding that the unemployment offset procedure can raise collections significantly. Basically, if he has any income or assets he has to provide some support to his children. We agree on the rest. Cheers, Scott.
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Post #222,205
9/1/05 12:39:37 PM
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Michigan has this nasty habit of...
Goin' after Deadbeat Dads wherever they are, and garnishing wages if they are employed. Also, he is required by law to carry health insurance on his kids either through employer or out of pocket. Doesn't matter if he is employed or not.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
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Post #222,212
9/1/05 12:53:23 PM
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Yes,
He still has to keep up the child support payments but he has no income. Wont get unemployment because he quit. Wasnt fired. I also opted out of using Friends of the Court when I got divorce. Now I have to opt back in, which will likely mean I have to file a motion.
Our divorce judgment clearly states neither of us can move outside 100 miles without court approval. It also states he is obligated to maintain health insurance for the kids. He is in violation all over the place. Yes, the law is on my side. Getting it all enforced is going to take time and money, though.
I'm working with my attorney and will take him to court. I have to find out where he is living first, so he can be served. I know eventually it will be sorted out, but man, this is a bad time for me to be hit with this rubbish. I'm running on adrenalin and cortisol today.
The good news is, now that he's married her bank accounts can be garnished if he is unable to make support payments. Welcome to married life, sister!
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Post #222,218
9/1/05 1:03:56 PM
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Glad you're on top of things. Sorry about the trouble. :-(
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Post #222,196
9/1/05 11:48:30 AM
9/1/05 1:46:41 PM
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Done.
Happy thoughts --> Bionerd If I would have been thinking, the post should have been: greg@localhost:~\\]$ cat Happy\\ Thoughts > Bionerd 2>&1 Sheesh, what was I thinking. --
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
Edited by folkert
Sept. 1, 2005, 01:46:41 PM EDT
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Post #222,198
9/1/05 12:03:00 PM
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Ditto
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Post #222,306
9/1/05 5:51:50 PM
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:)
Repeating that here!
Thoughts and prayers going out.
--
Steve
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Post #222,197
9/1/05 11:50:00 AM
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You have my best thoughts as well.
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Post #222,203
9/1/05 12:35:32 PM
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Oh Laura, I'm so sorry!
But don't ever EVER belittle your own problems as not important. Sure, the scope may be less than others, maybe miniscule, compared to things like the New Orleans diasaster, but hon, your problems are still yours, and they are HUGE to you! I get that, believe me!
You need to feel important, worthy of being cared about, and I hope that we all are managing to do that, where your Ex isn't. You are a very important person! You are important for your kids & family, for your friends, and to us!
I'll pray that things get better, that you get the new job, and that your son is able to come to terms with all that's happened. I know you feel like you're lost and smothering in an black hole right now, but let us reach in and pull you out.
Don't hold back the emotion though, don't stuff it, that's so bad to do. Cry, vent, cuss him out in FQ, do whatever *you* need to do for yourself!!! I can't offer money, I wish I could... I wish I had a million dollars to send half to you and half to New Orleans... but I can offer caring thoughts, wishes, and a listening ear. If you need to talk to someone, I can offer my phone number, or you can e-mail me privately, let me know if you want the number.
I care about you Laura, you're special... hang in there and take care!
Brenda
"Excel is to math what a Microwave Oven is to cooking!"
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Post #222,210
9/1/05 12:48:56 PM
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I have faith
that you will land on your feet and that you will develop your children into fabulous human beings. Offers of support have been mentioned on this board. Consider this a standing offer from me as well should you need it.
Also, you and kids are primary and focus should be there right now. But don't let daddy slide on this. Others here have mentioned that the law is on your side. Use it. There are probably pro-bono lawyers at local colleges that are engaged in this activity for others at this time. Take advantage. They may be able to attach wages, drain retirement, force sale of auto or whatever and have the proceeeds delivered straight to your bank.
Go get get him sister. You should not need to suffer alone :-)
(revenge is a powerful motivator)
Thoughts are with you.
Do not forget our offers.
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #222,213
9/1/05 12:53:44 PM
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ya gets stuck let us know on the qt
the child support enforcement laws will put his ass in a crack no matter which state he runs to. File on him, all the states protect child support orders from other states, find out where he moves and notify that state's child support enforcement agency.
luck, you cant do much except comfort the boy, Im glad you got him a mentor. Martial arts such as fencing, tai chi and judo help self esteem and control in young males, karate etc is too macho for the way he is feeling.
thanx,
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #222,215
9/1/05 12:55:16 PM
9/1/05 2:12:54 PM
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Make haste to call his former employer (hug amended)
perhaps you still have the ability to sign up for COBRA benefits. Generally, there is a 60 day grace period to file for the Continuation of Benefits, with the coverage becoming retroactive to the date of termination.
Yes, your credit card will be smokin', but you will at least be able to have coverage. The silver lining to that cloud is that you can itemize deductions on your tax return, claiming the insurance as an allowable expense and quite possibly get a big, fat check. I realize this is far in the future, when you need it now, but it does offer some consolation.
I can't imagine what you are feeling at the moment, but, trust in your higher power that you will always have enough. Belief in your abundance shapes your thoughts and generates more abundance. We are living on faith as we speak. We haven't been paid for two months now. But, by the grace of God, we are managing to keep the wolves from the door.
You are in my sincerest prayers.
(((((Laura)))))))
Love and peace,
Amy
edit: DOH! Dang burnt out brain cells! I meant to type Bionerd...Oy Vey!
"Losing your mind is like losing your keys. You have to retrace your steps to find out where you left them. But the bonus is that you usually find loose change in the cushions." ABR '05 :-D
Edited by imqwerky
Sept. 1, 2005, 02:08:27 PM EDT
Edited by imqwerky
Sept. 1, 2005, 02:12:54 PM EDT
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Post #222,226
9/1/05 1:39:06 PM
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Hmmm
What does (((((Brenda))))))) mean? Brenda
"Excel is to math what a Microwave Oven is to cooking!"
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Post #222,227
9/1/05 1:44:30 PM
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I think it means you stole Laura's hug.
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Post #222,228
9/1/05 1:45:30 PM
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That's what I was afraid of!
Okay, well till Amy fixes it, here you go Laura...
((((((((Laura)))))))))
Brenda
"Excel is to math what a Microwave Oven is to cooking!"
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Post #222,350
9/1/05 7:40:08 PM
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Already got them on a state insurance program
which essentially means a Medicaid plan. *Medicaid*. I've worked so hard and this is where we are.
This sucks.
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Post #222,352
9/1/05 7:44:09 PM
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This may not be much of a comfort...
When things really get bad for me, I just remember one of my favorite quotes: Life sucks,
Then you die,
Then they put you in a hole in the ground,
Then the worms eat you.
Be glad it happens in that order! Of course, this book happened to be about an invasion of earth by 2+ meter-long man-eating worms, but hey... apt-get install godlike-powers
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Post #222,369
9/1/05 9:28:59 PM
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Whatever happened to that series? (new thread)
Created as new thread #222368 titled [link|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=222368|Whatever happened to that series?]
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #222,231
9/1/05 1:57:23 PM
9/1/05 1:59:12 PM
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IANAL but...
Just a thought. Even if he has no income, perhaps his new spouse does? Being married usually implies certain financial responsibilities for one's spouse.
(IANAL, but my former college roomate, the best man at our wedding, is the head prosecutor for child support for the 25 county area surrounding San Antonio).
[Edit Note: See you're thinking [link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=222212|ahead of me]]
Edited by ChrisR
Sept. 1, 2005, 01:58:48 PM EDT
Edited by ChrisR
Sept. 1, 2005, 01:59:12 PM EDT
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Post #222,248
9/1/05 3:03:12 PM
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new wife is not obligated to old kids, my brother went thru
that. He had a struggling business, she had her own prior to them being together and she made good. This was in Canada hich is draconian about getting money out of stone. My brothers current wife usually prevailed in court.
thanx,
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #222,289
9/1/05 5:21:28 PM
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In michigan where the Divorce happened...
He is liable.
Any source of money he is attached to, unles he and his current wife keep all expenses and income seperate... she will be paying for it because he is attached to the accounts.
If the money is in those accounts they will be frozen and pillaged by the state sooner than you could kiss it goodbye. Regular occurence here. And the Law presiding over the divorce decree is and always will be Michigan's.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
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Post #222,292
9/1/05 5:23:03 PM
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any new wife would be stupid to have a joint account
well then again, maaybe laura will get lucky
thanx,
bil
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #222,294
9/1/05 5:26:14 PM
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Prima facia evidence that she is stupid...
...she got hooked up with a loser. How smart could she be?
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Post #222,314
9/1/05 6:12:18 PM
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ahem, so did laura but I didnt want to mention it :/
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #222,335
9/1/05 6:39:22 PM
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Was prior to establishing the fact that he was a loser
It's one thing to abandon a fellow adult. It's quite another to abandon one's responsibility as a parent.
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Post #222,342
9/1/05 7:14:41 PM
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Exactly
and I know whereof I speak. I'm in school and not making very much money... Steph's illness this summer (and the time I spent looking after her and the kids... cooking, cleaning, etc) hasn't helped... but what money I do lay my hands on mostly goes to the kids.
--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------
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Post #222,348
9/1/05 7:29:23 PM
9/1/05 8:02:49 PM
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He wasnt a loser when I married him
He evolved.
Edited by bionerd
Sept. 1, 2005, 07:30:01 PM EDT
Edited by bionerd
Sept. 1, 2005, 08:02:49 PM EDT
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Post #222,356
9/1/05 8:20:01 PM
8/21/07 6:08:13 AM
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There is no evolution - he was stupidly designed
Or is it designed stupid.
"Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect" --Mark Twain
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." --Albert Einstein
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses." --George W. Bush
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Post #222,415
9/2/05 6:29:52 AM
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He didn't evolve, he degenerated...
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
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Post #222,234
9/1/05 2:08:53 PM
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Sue his ass for child support
'Course, I'm no so familiar with the system down there, but up here, if he goes into arrears on his payments, it will cost him his driver's license and ability to insure his car... but you have to let The State know so they can get him for you.
--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------
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Post #222,253
9/1/05 3:15:54 PM
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The Universe replies
She says to tell you ~ (She mumbles a bit, you see; lousy at English.)
The entire Universe is inside you; must be so because if you haven't noticed something - that something just doesn't Exist.
Well, something like that.
(She's not very articulate today..)
But back to our small slice of ~reality: the 25-100,000 moving from one Sports palace to another are, for most of us, abstractions. Not dehumanized, simply - we can't ummm encompass? Masses. Well, I Can't.
You OTOH are neither a figment nor a statistic, and while your presence here may be via the usual happenstance (as applies to each one here who traded quips -long ago- at a silly Computer-Ad mag's website) -- what we possess is something of a rarity in a world of accelerating and now more&more often, wrenching change: continuity.
Others have gotten the Fickle Finger of Fate award long after Laugh-In itself! got it. Giving without compulsion (especially of the you-Ought-to kind) is what one does for Oneself. (Screw 'logic'. It doesn't apply to humans.)
Do, please think about some intermediate address where those here who wish to simply express solidarity - might. You've not asked and you aren't 'begging'. (Though neither is shameful - we call those Emergencies). Yours is not the first such event here, BTW. Hell, we Love giving stuff away! It's what authentic humans Do, y'know? It makes >US< feel better, amidst a daily Ocean of grasping, greedy, Me-Me-Me faux-people, who are now controlling way Too-many 'things'. Y'know?
It's a kinda Revenge.. methinks ;-)
As surely you appreciate fully, once you're past this entirely unanticipated mess - you'll be doing likewise. Those who never wish to 'give' turn into.. well, that's for the Religio-Politics forum. At least that's how I understand "what goes around". It's just stuff - but you and dependents are Not 'stuff'.
Meanwhile - He may be only a faux-'father' in actuality, but in the cathedrals of our acquisitive $-worshipping society:
He's also a Legal 'Father'.
So...Sic! Im.
Love, (from the inarticulate Universe, inside) and
Regards,
moi
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Post #222,347
9/1/05 7:28:14 PM
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This is one of the few times
I made it through one of your posts and understood it in its entirety! I appreciate each and every word. Thank you from the bottom of my heavy heart.
Laura
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Post #222,355
9/1/05 8:16:52 PM
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Periodically, Ashtonese can be...
...the most concise language of expression. :-)
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Post #222,353
9/1/05 7:52:45 PM
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If there is a God, He has a taste for practical jokes :-(
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #222,370
9/1/05 9:30:48 PM
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Sorry to hear it, Laura.
Can't add much to what's been posted already, but again, I'm in town if you need anything.
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #222,405
9/2/05 1:29:35 AM
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Stiff upper lip.
Things will improve.
They always do.
Peter
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu Linux]
[link|http://www.kuro5hin.org|There is no K5 Cabal]
[link|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org|Home]
Use P2P for legitimate purposes!
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Post #222,407
9/2/05 2:03:30 AM
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ugh, oh man, ouch.
self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-centred...
it never ceases to amaze me that people can be so selfish.
It hurts because you care. That's a good thing. Never lose sight of that. The pain will pass and you will still care. Your kids and you will get through this. In the meantime, you are not alone.
We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.
-- Mark Vonnegut
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #222,427
9/2/05 8:45:13 AM
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Well said.
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Post #222,414
9/2/05 6:25:00 AM
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Best wishes & crossed fingers from t'other side of the world
Two out of three people wonder where the other one is.
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Post #222,449
9/2/05 10:35:47 AM
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Thank you all so much.
It means a lot to have you guys rooting for me. All your offers of support make me feel all mushy inside. You dont know what it means to have people in my corner (people whom I never met, but are there for me!) when I feel that I am fighting this alone. Thank you. Thank you all.
I'm gonna be whiney and needy for a while. If you dont want to hear about the drama, avoid my posts. I'm sick of it all myself, but a girl's gotta vent. You know what? My life is so fucked up right now I've turned into one of my clients. I'm just like the people I talk to every day. My life is a Jerry Springer episode. I HATE IT!
I was reading my Friend of the Court Handbook- these are the people in MI responsible for child support enforcement. The opening sentence in the book reads
"We are not your friend".
I can tell this is going to be fun. I left a message for my court appointed referee. A summary of her outgoing message: I prefer you dont leave a message. Fax me your questions. If you leave a message, I will respond to you. If you leave a message or send a fax, dont contact me again. I will get back with you.
Uhh...okay. And a good day to you, too, lady.
The Ass and the Mrs. are flying in from butt fuck Iowa (I've used that expression before, but never has it been so appropriate) tomorrow. My son doesnt want to see his dad, so I'm shipping him off to a neighbor. My daughter is excited because she is hoping her Dad will bring her a present. The innocence of a 6 year old. She's too pure of heart to be crushed yet.
I dont know if The Ass has an agenda for this little visit, other than incorporating the children into his happily-ever-after fantasy, but I will be reviewing the divorce judgment with him and obtaining the information I need to pursue legal action. His gin soaked addled brain wont even anticipate this. His new wife will not like me, guaranteed. Fine way for them to start a marriage. Stupid, stupid people.
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Post #222,453
9/2/05 10:52:15 AM
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She doesn't need to like you
Your responsibility is to do what's best for the kids -- and it sounds like that is exactly what you're doing. Don't let a little thing like some new wife stand in the way of watching out for your sprogs.
Along with the rest of the people here, my sympathies go out to you in your time of need. I hope for your sake that things turn out even better than you presently expect in your wildest dreams.
-YendorMike
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Benjamin Franklin, 1759 Historical Review of Pennsylvania
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Post #222,468
9/2/05 12:33:55 PM
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How do we contact you off-line?
If you don't have one, consider a GMail [link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=220716|account]. Please post an obfuscated version of the address (it doesn't have to be your name) so that we can contact you.
You (er, we) Michiganders (I was born in Trenton) can be a stubborn lot. Don't refuse our help. It doesn't do anyone any good. :-)
Thanks.
Cheers,
Scott.
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Post #222,486
9/2/05 2:24:31 PM
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So far, still have the work email
laurad at responseworks dot com
Am setting up a consulting thing with my old boss so I can continue to work a bit for him and get some money flowing my way asap.
I'm shifting out of the panic mode today and getting mobilized. Now I'm just plain pissed. The revenge fantasies are starting to surface. I figure that's a good thing.
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Post #222,489
9/2/05 2:34:57 PM
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Thanks. Go check it. :-)
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Post #222,491
9/2/05 2:45:57 PM
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just did- nothing yet :-(
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Post #222,492
9/2/05 2:50:22 PM
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Hmm. A note to the UK and back has already finished.
VA to MI shouldn't take that long, but who knows...
I'll try again in a couple of hours if you still don't have it by then.
Cheers,
Scott.
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Post #222,493
9/2/05 2:52:11 PM
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I've been pinging a friend back and forth in MN just now
with no probs.
I'm sure it'll bounce in soon.
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Post #222,505
9/2/05 3:58:11 PM
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Resent it just now...
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Post #222,508
9/2/05 4:00:32 PM
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Got it- check your inbox.
(and thanks)
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Post #222,510
9/2/05 4:14:37 PM
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Likewise.
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Post #222,494
9/2/05 2:54:58 PM
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Those fantasies are good
They will help keep your sanity.
Make some of them that don't involve bloodshed or physical torture come true on his Tom Collin's ass! :-)
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #222,499
9/2/05 3:01:51 PM
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La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid
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Post #222,516
9/2/05 5:29:17 PM
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Prec\ufffdsamente, amigo____\ufffdVerdad!
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Post #222,501
9/2/05 3:02:18 PM
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ICLRPD (new thread)
Created as new thread #222500 titled [link|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=222500|ICLRPD]
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #222,502
9/2/05 3:07:17 PM
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make your favorite meatloaf for them
alpo lotsa garlic and use Heinz chili seafood sauce for flavoring
thanx,
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #222,512
9/2/05 4:26:23 PM
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be that way...
"...I'm shifting out of the panic mode today and getting mobilized. Now I'm just plain pissed."
There you go. Regrets: be careful not to do anything you will regret later. It's too late for him. :-)
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #222,560
9/3/05 9:13:27 AM
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If your meeting may be confrontational
Then have the new wife stay in the car. DON'T invite her in. She will, of course, take her "pure as the driven snow" new hubby's side. You've, more than likely, been demonized. Best yet, is to have a male friend with you to defend you when things get ugly.
Sorry to bring this all up, but this type of issue can get pretty ugly, pretty quick and you need to remember that.
And I'll second the meatloaf suggestion. :-)
ot: where abouts in MN is your friend?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
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Post #222,566
9/3/05 9:56:17 AM
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I thought about having a male friend come over
But thought that might escalate things more. Ex would probably view that as me throwing my love life (what love life?) in his face and he would take it as an affront. That's how he sees things. I'm not looking forward to battling with them alone, though. I have a couple of neighbors on alert- they will help out if needed.
I like the meatloaf recipe, too, but am not going to waste a perfectly good can of alpo on them. Little Sadie has to eat, too!
Friends in MN are in Rochester- docs at the Mayo clinic. I have another friend in Eagan. They are trying to convince me to relocate out there. We'll see.
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Post #222,568
9/3/05 10:00:01 AM
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OT: add me to the arm twisting crowd
Live in St. Paul, work in Eagan. Would gladly welcome you to the tundra.
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
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Post #222,569
9/3/05 10:01:44 AM
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If he brings wife, you're entitled to have male friend there
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
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Post #222,571
9/3/05 10:09:35 AM
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Nothing to do with that.
Yes, you should have support. No, it should not be a male VS fame thing.
A coupe of well armed women within shouting distance would probably be a good thing.
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Post #222,573
9/3/05 10:24:06 AM
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a couple of female cowboys would do nicely
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #222,579
9/3/05 10:30:35 AM
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Shoot, a couple of male cowboys hanging around would do
nicely, too! Yee haw!
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Post #222,581
9/3/05 10:33:17 AM
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around here female cowboys
are females that enjoyeach others company and are tough as wild bill hickok on steroids
thanx,
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #222,582
9/3/05 10:34:53 AM
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oh. well, I dont want *them* around
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Post #222,584
9/3/05 11:07:54 AM
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My brother'in'law called them "Turbo Diesels"
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Post #222,627
9/3/05 3:12:54 PM
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Advice from a mediator/friend
I have a friend who has been a mediator. She suggested meeting on neutral territory, as that levels the playing field. With other people present or nearby, violence is less likely to break out. If it does, all the cellphones will be dialing 9-1-1.
Hope this helps.
Wishing you peace,
Amy
"Losing your mind is like losing your keys. You have to retrace your steps to find out where you left it. But the bonus is that you usually find loose change in the cushions." ABR '05 :-D
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Post #222,635
9/3/05 3:52:52 PM
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I kicked butt!!! (new thread)
Created as new thread #222634 titled [link|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=222634|I kicked butt!!!]
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Post #222,476
9/2/05 1:14:28 PM
9/2/05 1:22:13 PM
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Happy thoughts are immediately en route.
And you're right, you play by the "rulez", and you don't deserve it!
jb4
shrub●bish (Am., from shrub + rubbish, after the derisive name for America's 43 president; 2003) n. 1. a form of nonsensical political doubletalk wherein the speaker attempts to defend the indefensible by lying, obfuscation, or otherwise misstating the facts; GIBBERISH. 2. any of a collection of utterances from America's putative 43rd president. cf. BULLSHIT
Edited by jb4
Sept. 2, 2005, 01:22:13 PM EDT
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Post #222,477
9/2/05 1:17:21 PM
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It's always them that don't deserve that gets.
Basic rule of the universe, apparently.
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #222,487
9/2/05 2:25:35 PM
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Who makes up these rules?
THEY SUCK!
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Post #222,488
9/2/05 2:26:28 PM
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->*ZOT*<-
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Post #222,504
9/2/05 3:33:05 PM
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Well . . . .
The Christians say it's the same Loving God who just wiped out New Orleans. The Jews say it's a jealous vengeful God. The Muslims say it's Allah, actually the same jealous vengeful God who insists his people be vengeful as well.
I ain't worship'n no Gods like those ones, that's for sure.
Some say it's Karma (were you a used car salesman in a previous life?) which would make it your fault. If this Karma thing is true there's a hell of a lot of folks who must have lived wonderously virtuous past lives who are going to be reincarnated as sewer rats in the next.
Others say there's no God and no Karma, it's all just cause and effect (which kinda puts it all back in your lap).
Perhaps it's just Lucifer trying to get stuff to work and having as hard a time of it as the rest of us are.
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #222,507
9/2/05 4:00:15 PM
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ICLRPD. (new thread)
Created as new thread #222506 titled [link|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=222506|ICLRPD.]
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Post #222,517
9/2/05 5:36:26 PM
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NOT TOO SHABBY____MY. SON.
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