I'm already fat. 5'7 inch and 200 lb. 175 feels best on me. I've run out of energy and testosterone to attempt to do another exercise weight loss pass and I have no interest in being hungry. Every time I start moving too fast I hurt a joint and I'm definitely not going to go damage myself on a treadmill just to look better. Store up some fat for when I get sick someday, it'll let me last longer.

No fast food for me though. I never leave my property. It's about 100 ft out to the back shed and I occasionally carry about 30 gallons of water in 5 gallon buckets from the doorway of the shed to the back of the shed to water the pot plants. That's the most exercise I get and also the greatest likelihood of damaging my back as I walk with a bucket. It's the long darkness, wet and cold. Add in the fact that the closest fast food is approximately 15 mi away.

With M gone I eat almost nothing but Digorgio frozen "supreme" pizzas. I add half a can of sliced olives, couple slices of chopped up onion, half a can of sliced mushrooms, a bunch of crumbled bacon, another full layer of pepperoni, and then top it off with another layer of mozzarella. I buy the sliced mushrooms and olives by the case from Amazon.

I can eat about a pizza a day. Last night I switched it up and fried up some pork belly. That's just ridiculously thick bacon. First, you have to sous vide it and then just sear on a coating of flavor.

I really like Maruchan yakisoba. The beef teriyaki is great and the Korean barbecue is even better. I slice and chop up an onion and toss it on top and then 4 minutes in the microwave and I'm in heaven.

Yesterday I ordered 100 bucks of chips and crunchy stuff from Amazon. Many many bags of single serving Cheetos and Cape cod kettle chips and funyon rings and other assorted goodies. Note: these should last me many months. I know I'm overloading on salt all over the place and I'm not going to sit there and eat bag after bag after bag in a setting. Figure two single serve bags per day. I just wanted my specific chips/assortment and I hate buying a single large bag of anything since it loses its crunch here very quickly no matter how well I ziplock it.

I have assorted Vietnamese pho packets which I then drop in a couple slices of meat and onions. I have an assortment of 15 different types of Thai noodles with various spices in two to three minute easily cookable packets.

Keep in mind I have 10 body freezer, the hugest chest freezer that I've ever seen in a home, pretty much totally filled with a huge assortment of high quality meats and vegetables and pasta and blah blah blah blah blah. M made sure that the freezer was filled with all kinds of stuff that would keep me happy and healthy. And I said f*** that, I'm eating pizza! This is my old age version of hookers and cocaine. This is my vacation. I'll eat well when she gets back.

Add in the weekly liter of tequila and I assume I'll pick up another 20 to 30 lb in the next few months.

Edit: one weird thing about how I carry excess weight. It is virtually invisible to professionals. However it gets distributed It is basically unseeable. How do I know this? Because I would go to Great adventure and other carnivals and I would ask them to estimate my weight for a prize. I have seen these guys do it perfectly again and again and then when I get up there, weighing 225, they would consistently guess me at 170. 170! I was guaranteed to win a prize. So I have this lack of caring of presentation to the outside world on how I look. I know I look great all the goddamn time. Even at 225. Which is crazy but simultaneously true.

Edit 2: I just realized I have a panful of bacon fat from the pork bellies sitting there from last night. I wonder how the pizza will do reheated by frying it. I'll find out soon enough.