I know what you mean.
And when you remember, you have to say it again. Damn!
Just over a year go a dear friend of mine in Upstate NY did away with himself. It was another case of depression.
We had been friends since 1965. Of course, my wife and I had to go to the funeral. It was the first Jewish funeral I've been to. He was buried at a Jewish cemetery in Clifton, NJ. One of the things one gets to do at the burial is to take a shovelful of dirt and throw it down on the casket that had been lowered in the grave. As it happened, I was one of the earlier people that did that. The sound of the dirt hitting the casket and the vibration of the casket had an unexpected effect on me. The finality of his death was punctuated in my mind. While I still think of him often, there are no expectations of any interactions of any kind.
Funerals are for the living and this Jewish burial practice has it right.
Just over a year go a dear friend of mine in Upstate NY did away with himself. It was another case of depression.
We had been friends since 1965. Of course, my wife and I had to go to the funeral. It was the first Jewish funeral I've been to. He was buried at a Jewish cemetery in Clifton, NJ. One of the things one gets to do at the burial is to take a shovelful of dirt and throw it down on the casket that had been lowered in the grave. As it happened, I was one of the earlier people that did that. The sound of the dirt hitting the casket and the vibration of the casket had an unexpected effect on me. The finality of his death was punctuated in my mind. While I still think of him often, there are no expectations of any interactions of any kind.
Funerals are for the living and this Jewish burial practice has it right.