Note that I'm not asking you for any, or expecting any from you. But you don't seem to think I want any.
Sure I'd like a solution. My whole point when I started this thread was that I've spent a bunch of time looking for a solution, and found instead all the reasons why I'm not going to get it. And those reasons annoy me.
Right now it looks like the best solution is to find a Mac that can handle AVCHD. I knew when I started that I could always throw money and new hardware at the problem, but I'm trying not to do that.