A little story:

On his initial visit, the well-groomed middle-aged gentleman, elegantly dressed in an austere black Armani suit, sat down in a polite yet reserved manner and began to relate what had brought him into the office. He spoke rather softly, in a controlled, measured voice. I ran through a list of standard questions: presenting complaint, age, background, marital status, ....

"That bitch!" he cried suddenly, his voice seething with rage. "My damn wife! EX-wife, now. She was having an affair behind my back! And after everything I did for her. That little ... that little ... SLUT!" His voice became louder, more angry, and more venomous, as for the next twenty minutes he recounted grievance after grievance against his ex-wife.

Our time was coming to a close. Realizing that he was just getting warmed up and could easily continue in this vein for hours, I redirected him. "Well, most people have difficulty adjusting to a recent divorce, and that is certainly something that we can address in future sessions," I said soothingly. "By the way, how long have you been divorced?"

"Seventeen years, last May."

from pp. 149-150 of The Art of Happiness, by the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, MD.

You can't change the past. What happened, happened. You can only make your life better for yourself and your family by working to change your future.

Best of luck.

Cheers,
Scott.