So basically I'm screwed

Post #31,507 by nking 3/9/02 6:06:27 PM Reply	So basically I'm screwed because of my depression? Is that why I can't get hired? I work, but I have "off days" were it is hard to concentrate and I cannot work as fast as my "on days". I can work alone or in a group. I don't surrond myself with people exactly like me, I work in a diverse group with people of many backgrounds. I can produce stuff, but I just can't do the impossible, which is what that law firm wanted. Don't worry about pushing me over the edge, I have already been there and back and lived to tell about it. I may as well file for disability, my doctor says I most likely could because of all my illnesses. Either that or sue my former employer for discriminationg against me because I had depression? "Will work for fair salary and benefits, seeking company with integrity."
Post #31,508 by bepatient 3/9/02 6:15:50 PM Reply	Only if... ...you continue to blame everything on your old employer and continue to neglect your condition. Otherwise...you should be ok. Look forward...not back. Concentrate now on a regimen of positive thought...on the value that you bring to any new environment. If you can make VB stand up and dance...then tell the prospective employers that in your cover letters. Focus on that in your interviews. You have a history of depression. Make sure that between you and your doctors you keep it just that...a history. Thats my pep talk for the day. And I'm infinitely less expensive than any professional ;) You were born...and so you're free...so Happy Birthday! _{Laurie Anderson} [link\|mailto:bepatient@aol.com\|BePatient]
Post #31,521 by nking 3/10/02 12:56:21 AM Reply	I am not neglecting my condition I have been seeing a doctor and have had my medicine changed after a short hospital visit. How is that neglecting my condition? "Will work for fair salary and benefits, seeking company with integrity."
Post #31,524 by bepatient 3/10/02 10:13:57 AM Reply	Historical context You knew there was a problem...and let it get out of control. Maybe you've not been neglecting it for the past couple of weeks...and if so...great job...keep it up! You were born...and so you're free...so Happy Birthday! _{Laurie Anderson} [link\|mailto:bepatient@aol.com\|BePatient]
Post #31,554 by nking 3/10/02 7:35:13 PM Reply	Historical out of context I knew I had a problem, and I was seeing a doctor and tried to work through it. My former employer did not help me out, and instead heaped more work on me, in hopes that I would quit or do something they could fire me for. When I didn't quit, and I was looking for another job, they decided to make something up about me and use "suspicion" to fire me. Suspicion of what, I have no idea? I never got it in writing exactly what I was fired for, and they told unemployment it was for suspicion, as they could not offer unemployment any proof of any wrong-doing. Now then, as to my current situation, I am recovering and not as depressed as I used to be. Looking back, perhaps I should have quit two years ago, or talked to my doctor about having an extended short-term disability leave? "Will work for fair salary and benefits, seeking company with integrity."
Post #31,559 by bepatient 3/10/02 8:00:37 PM Reply	Never mind. You were born...and so you're free...so Happy Birthday! _{Laurie Anderson} [link\|mailto:bepatient@aol.com\|BePatient]
Post #31,562 by Another Scott 3/10/02 9:51:43 PM Reply	"Looking back ..." - Don't look back so much. Move ahead. A little story: On his initial visit, the well-groomed middle-aged gentleman, elegantly dressed in an austere black Armani suit, sat down in a polite yet reserved manner and began to relate what had brought him into the office. He spoke rather softly, in a controlled, measured voice. I ran through a list of standard questions: presenting complaint, age, background, marital status, .... "That bitch!" he cried suddenly, his voice seething with rage. "My damn wife! EX-wife, now. She was having an affair behind my back! And after everything I did for her. That little ... that little ... SLUT!" His voice became louder, more angry, and more venomous, as for the next twenty minutes he recounted grievance after grievance against his ex-wife. Our time was coming to a close. Realizing that he was just getting warmed up and could easily continue in this vein for hours, I redirected him. "Well, most people have difficulty adjusting to a recent divorce, and that is certainly something that we can address in future sessions," I said soothingly. "By the way, how long have you been divorced?" "Seventeen years, last May." from pp. 149-150 of The Art of Happiness, by the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, MD. You can't change the past. What happened, happened. You can only make your life better for yourself and your family by working to change your future. Best of luck. Cheers, Scott.
Post #31,603 by ben_tilly 3/11/02 10:04:28 AM Reply	Have you started an exercise program yet? Such as the one you were pointed at which started out very gradually and slowly worked its way up? Or started monitoring your weight? (Not necessarily doing anything about it. Just trying to establish enough to have a baseline should you choose to.) Combined they take all of 20 minutes per day to do. And feeling slightly more fit will pay for the effort fairly quickly. Cheers, Ben "... I couldn't see how anyone could be educated by this self-propagating system in which people pass exams, teach others to pass exams, but nobody knows anything." --Richard Feynman
Post #31,654 by nking 3/11/02 1:30:03 PM Reply	yes I have, been walking taking a brisk walk for 15 minutes a day. Sometimes in the local mall, sometimes down the street. So far I went from 278 pounds to 274 pounds in about a week or so. I've also been watching what I eat. "Will work for fair salary and benefits, seeking company with integrity."
Post #31,665 by ben_tilly 3/11/02 2:12:53 PM Reply	Sounds good Of course watching what you eat has more to do with the weight loss than the walk. As for monitoring your weight, note that we have a large variability from day to day, based largely on what our water retention happens to be at the moment. As a result even if your real weight is pretty steadily moving downwards, what you see day to day won't always look like it. One solution is to just take readings once a week. A better one is to keep a moving average. The latter gives you more feedback. To do the moving average get 10 day's weighings and take the average of them. This is your starting trend. Then every day move the trend 1/10'th of the way towards your current weight reading. (eg If your trend said 276.2 and you weigh in at 272, your next trend is 275.8.) This keeps an exponentially weighted moving average of where your weights have been. (It always lags a few days behind your real weight.) As long as your trend moves down substantially more often than up, you are losing weight. Even if you weigh more today than yesterday, that is OK. That is a normal daily fluctuation. Even if you go 3 days at the same weight, that is fine. And when you stop dieting, keep a record of that trend. If it goes above where you want it to be, that is an early warning that you are putting the pounds back on... Like most things in life, weight and fitness are not a matter of seeing the light. Rather they are a matter of starting and then keeping good habits... Cheers, Ben "... I couldn't see how anyone could be educated by this self-propagating system in which people pass exams, teach others to pass exams, but nobody knows anything." --Richard Feynman
Post #31,517 by broomberg 3/9/02 9:01:36 PM Reply	No, but you need to take steps 1) NEVER mention medical condition on interview. Or on the 1st month of the job. 2) NEVER bad mouth your previous firm. 3) NEVER admit to bad days. 4) Don't post anything on the web that could be used against you. 5) Start using a new handle now, and DENY all previous posts. 6) Ask the admin to scrub all old posts, removing your name. 7) Stop posting other places that can be used against you. You've pointed to articles for us to read, that had "talkbacks" on the bottom, and you really flamed some people, filled with curses, etc. It seemed like a different persona, but I could tell it was you. This is the type of stuff that possible employers will crucify you with. I think the ONLY time I curse online anything other than 'shit' is in response to CRC, which is a given. 8) Open your horizons. Your focus on Windows and VB will isolate you to the stupid section of the computing universe. But knowledge of Windows and VB and Unix and some type of enterprise database (DB2 or Oracle) will make you much more attractive. And you can learn Linux and Oracle at home, on home equipment.
Post #31,519 by bepatient 3/9/02 9:57:09 PM Reply	I suppose I'm fairly lucky... ...in that I selected a moniker that based upon my name...but common enough a phrase that a google search turns up my website...my resume...my enrollment in Nicks site...my enrollment in ezboard...and then a boatload of other stuff not related to me. You were born...and so you're free...so Happy Birthday! _{Laurie Anderson} [link\|mailto:bepatient@aol.com\|BePatient]

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