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New Holy crap, ridiculous job description
[link|http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobDetails.aspx?dv=dv&APath=2.31.0.0.0&sfascc=business+analyst&IPath=ILKGV&sname=&jrdid=&lpage=4&job_did=J3F6DN6DW1LDLSW3X6M&ff=21&jobcount=77&strcrit=QID%3dA6650255057593%3bst%3dQ%3buse%3dALL%3brawWords%3dbusiness+analyst%3bTID%3d155220%3bCTY%3dCLEVELAND%3bSID%3dOH%3bCID%3dUS%3bENR%3dNO%3bDTP%3dDR3%3bYDI%3dYES%3bIND%3dALL%3bPDQ%3dAll%3bJN%3dAll%3bPAYL%3d0%3bPAYH%3dGT120%3bPOY%3dNO%3bETD%3dALL%3bRE%3dALL%3bMGT%3dDC%3bSUP%3dDC%3bFRE%3d7%3bCHL%3dAL%3bQS%3dHHR_JOBFINDALL.ASP%3bSS%3dNO%3bTITL%3d0%3bJQT%3dRAD|http://www.careerbui...L%3d0%3bJQT%3dRAD]

Job Description:

Responsibilities: The Senior Portal and Content Management Analyst is responsible for providing technical solutions that facilitate business-to-employee communications, business-to-business communications, and business-to-consumer (B2E, B2B, B2C), and management of enterprise information and content. This individual will be required to participate as a project leader in the coordination of efforts for planning, design and implementation as well as change management. The incumbent will function as a liaison with senior business management and information technology personnel.

<snip>

Job Requirements:

Candidates must have a Bachelors degree with 7+ years of experience in related fields or 10+ years of equivalent experience. Applicants must have portal and content management experience with large, dynamic, enterprise web sites at a Fortune 500 organization. Experience with Sun, BEA, or Oracle portal and content management solutions is needed. Candidates must have comprehensive experience working with web application technologies to include content management, portals, web analytics, enterprise search, Java/J2EE, Oracle, HTML, XML, Perl, Web Services, LDAP, and SSO. Applicant must have documented success with developing, implementing, and maintaining a portal and web content business strategy and maintaining complex projects. Demonstrated experience in web layout and design is required. Candidates must have experience with installing, configuring, deploying, programming, and maintaining portal servers. Working knowledge and experience with portals, portlets, and portlet containers. Knowledge of management expertise and collaboration design is needed. Content management experience using role-base, identity based, and community based content is a must. Applicants must have an in-depth knowledge of backup and recovery, security, and patch management of portal and knowledge management solutions. Candidates must have in-depth and current knowledge of networking, web servers, and application servers. Experience is needed in developing return on investment calculations for the implementation of technical solutions. Candidates must have a Bachelors degree with 7+ years of experience in related fields or 10+ years of equivalent experience.
IOW you're a freaking one-man-show. Pitch it, justify it, spec it, design it, build it, administer it, maintain it, back it up, justify it again ... no thanks.
===

Kip Hawley is still an idiot.

===

Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
New This is a team lead position
You don't actually DO anything.

You tell other people that what they've already done is being done wrong, and that if they only did it the way you say to do it, it'll all work out.

But:

You make sure that all of your recommendations are too expensive to actually do.

You come up with a pie in the sky cost/benefit analysis, justify it, and push it up the chain.

Everyone will tell you how you are right (since they have NO clue and simply want to latch on to someone who looks like he knows what he is doing) and back you, except as it moves up the chain it get more and more expensive as people add their 2 cents and you address their favorite pet projects.

This just took a year.

In that year you've done nothing but spin fanciful tales and work with spreadsheets.

It can go one of 2 ways.

Most likely, you won't get budget approval for your high cost solution, but everyone will agree that it was the right thing to do, they simply could not swing it. Which means the current system limps along, with minimal changes, but you have full deniability and it is the boss / executives fault that the system sucks, so no one will push too hard against you for the current system. You can coast for years in this position, drawing a really good paycheck, and not doing much work.

Or, you get budget. And go: Holy shit, I don't REALLY know how to do any of these things. So you make sure you allocate a large portion of that budget for a consulting company to come in, waste a lot of effort, spin wheels for a couple of years, and wait out the executive management. After a couple of years there will be a shift at the top, funds will get yanked, and you'll fire the remaining staffers and keep a few consultants who will maintain the original crappy portal.

You will save a boatload of money at that point, since the horrendous cash drain of your project will be gone, it'll will make you look great, and you'll get a promotion. Welcome to the executive ranks.

This is a great position for a good bullshit artist.
New Yikes. You really do need to write a book.
Look at how well [link|http://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-Smoking-Christopher-Buckley/dp/0060976624|Thank You for Smoking] did.

You've got a gift that you should share. Seriously.

Cheers,
Scott.
New Probably, he won't though -
(I've made the very same suggestion, so then - well.. It's ruined, eh?)

He could, though - he Knows the shark! (I suspect from - inside the skin.)
And he also groks KISS.

Scott Adams didn't do a heck of a lot more than that, now did he?

New Yup, that's where I keep screwing up
I keep thinking people actually want things done.
===

Kip Hawley is still an idiot.

===

Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
New What is not said.
If it's a smallish company, what they really want is someone who matches about a third of that. And can learn just enough of the rest (or delegate to an existing employee) to make the project otherwise work.

Wade.


Is it enough to love
Is it enough to breathe
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
 
Is it enough to die
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be Anything but Ordinary
Please



-- "Anything but Ordinary" by Avril Lavigne.

· my ·
· [link|http://staticsan.livejournal.com/|blog] ·
· [link|http://yceran.org/|website] ·

New its kforce, what do you expect?
here is my job description
*****************************
Responsible for the complete process of infrastructure design and operations, including systems analysis and maintenance, security, network operations and support, and systems configuration. Infrastructure includes hardware, operation systems, database management systems, network and security. Also conducts end-to-end plan design, controls production, and implements and monitors systems. Maintains production databases to ensure integrity, performance, accessibility, and recoverability of data. Develops long-term strategy for historical data retention and archival plan for storage needs; defines data retention, backup, and recovery. Coordinates with Development to ensure that implementations regarding network and infrastructure security across *** are fully understood and leveragable. Develops corporate-wide standards to ensure compatibility and integration of multi-vendor platforms
****************************
is it what I do? vaguely sort of

they are looking for a BA who understands how that stuff works enuff to lead a team to a specific vendor supplied solution that they have just bought.

hmm Independace OH. Does 100k go a long way there?
thanx,
bill
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 51 years. meep

reach me at [link|mailto:bill.oxley@cox.net|mailto:bill.oxley@cox.net]
New It's the rust belt. Housing should be cheap.
Not so sure about taxes.
Alex

When fascism comes to America, it'll be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross. -- Sinclair Lewis
New You can do pretty well on that
Independence is at the crossroads of the two major freeways up here. So you've got a huge area to chose from and be within a reasonable commute. $100k/year is plenty to get a real nice shack around here.
===

Kip Hawley is still an idiot.

===

Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
New nice shack with dirt around it?
is 5 acre lots available in that area at a reasonable price? Shack doesnt need to be fancy but room for a horse would be nice,
thanx,
bill
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 51 years. meep

reach me at [link|mailto:bill.oxley@cox.net|mailto:bill.oxley@cox.net]
New I know lots of people around here with horses
Everyone I know with horses boards them. Never looked for something with that much land, so don't know about the prices. But here's [link|http://homes.realtor.com/search/listingdetail.aspx?ctid=76764&ml=3&mxp=27&typ=31&ofbm=8&sdir=0&sby=1&lid=1067044205&lsn=1&srcnt=154#Detail|something close]. (If that link doesn't work, do an MLS# search for 2318188.)
===

Kip Hawley is still an idiot.

===

Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
New dont want to spend over 180k
remember Im an old fart and want to pay it off beforer I die
thanx,
bill
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 51 years. meep

reach me at [link|mailto:bill.oxley@cox.net|mailto:bill.oxley@cox.net]
New $850k for 5 acres.
[link|http://homes.realtor.com/search/listingdetail.aspx?zp=44131&ml=3&typ=20&sid=bea7b7590bf14d678127ebdc514db16a&pg=3&lid=1076813201&lsn=22&srcnt=22#Detail|Realtor.com]. It's zoned commercial, though.

There are several 1 acre lots in 44131 listed there, but that's the only multi-acre plot I saw.

There's lots of land available in Ohio; it may not be listed on-line at places like Realtor.com though.

HTH a bit.

Cheers,
Scott.
New Could be related to this, too.
[link|http://www.theinquirer.net/default.aspx?article=40526|The Inquirer]:

[...]

This is why U.S. firms hire consultants to publish classified job ads in local U.S. papers, with goal of not finding any applicants.

At least that's what a report on the [link|http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/|Information Clearing House] alleges.

[link|http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article17909.htm|Here], you'll find a nice little video in which immigration attorneys from a firm, Cohen & Grigsby, explain how they help employers post job ads that no-one will apply for so that the firms can then use these in evidence when helping bring in workers from abroad.

"Microsoft, Oracle, Hewlett-Packard, and thousands of other companies are running fake ads in Sunday newspapers across the country each week," it claims. \ufffd


FWIW.

Cheers,
Scott.
New Been experiencing this...
In fact, when some one like me shows up for the job... they cringe and claim I'm too expensive or I am "not quite the right mix".

Fuckers.
--
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[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
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New Don't forget the fav "Over qualified". Whatever that means.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. (Herm Albright)
     Holy crap, ridiculous job description - (drewk) - (15)
         This is a team lead position - (crazy) - (3)
             Yikes. You really do need to write a book. - (Another Scott) - (1)
                 Probably, he won't though - - (Ashton)
             Yup, that's where I keep screwing up - (drewk)
         What is not said. - (static)
         its kforce, what do you expect? - (boxley) - (6)
             It's the rust belt. Housing should be cheap. - (a6l6e6x)
             You can do pretty well on that - (drewk) - (4)
                 nice shack with dirt around it? - (boxley) - (3)
                     I know lots of people around here with horses - (drewk) - (1)
                         dont want to spend over 180k - (boxley)
                     $850k for 5 acres. - (Another Scott)
         Could be related to this, too. - (Another Scott) - (2)
             Been experiencing this... - (folkert) - (1)
                 Don't forget the fav "Over qualified". Whatever that means. -NT - (jbrabeck)

Quite another Theatre of operations.
80 ms