Stop it
Accept that you annoy the fuck out of some people. They don't like you. They will never like you. They will never accept you. They don't have to.
Accept that if you talk about yourself, "doing better", "joining in", etc, you are giving them the opportunity to vent.
Do not respond. Do not try to validate yourself.
If you find yourself posting, somewhere, on topic, and you have something to add, do it. No problem. As long as you don't refer to yourself, then any response that refers to your whacko history is not on topic, and you can maintain the moral highground by NOT RESPONDING.
Don't post personal stories about yourself. It'll just be an opening for people to rip you to shreds.
Keep it up for a month or so. Stay on topic, do not refer to yourself, contribute a bit. As I said in the past, you a smart guy. Fucking insane, but a smart guy.
If you can actually keep it up, maybe you'll earn enough trust to be accepted as someone to bullshit with, someone who's point of view might actually make sense, someone who can be invited in to share a bit of perosnal time with.
BUT DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO DO IT UNTIL YOU'VE PROVEN YOURSELF.