The day to relax.
Ha!

Wake up, take a shower.

On the roof, clean the gutters, clip the the trees, break
the clippers, go to Lowes, get new clippers, come back, go
on the roof, clip and clean some more.

Take another shower.

EGC starts mowing the lawn. Why? Because it involves something
that can kill her and she loves risk. Barb's like to point out
that Sarah get her stupid risk taking behaviour from me.

Also, it's not hard, we have a self-propelled mower. 2 minutes
later, she's inside trying to get me to buy her something, her
boyfriend is now mowing the lawn.

5 minutes later, they both come in the tell me he broke the lawn mower.

WTF?

He managed to hit something that bent the blade.

WTF?

He's not sure what.

Grr.

Get manual, take blade off, go to hardware store, get replacement
blade, come home, install blade, can't start mower.

WTF?

Review manual, see it talks about all kinds of stuff, none of
it applies, manual is for 10 different models, up to me to figure
out what applies.

Barb comes out, gets whiney, we throw the mower in her Sorento,
take it to the local hardware store.

I give them my tale of woe. They tell me to take it out back
to the shop and tell the guys out there.

I go out back. Talk to some kid. He explain Al, the guy who
works on the engines, just went up front, but it doesn't matter
since they are booked for 2 weeks solid.

WTF?

I explain what happened, and asked if Al might be able to glance
at it, since I probably did something stupid and quickly fixable,
and if not, then I'll deal with the 2 week wait.

He said it's possible, and I should wait for Al.

I wait.

It's HOT.

I wait.

Someone else comes over, explains there is no way in hell
they'll get to it, and I need to just leave it. I explained
I'm waiting for Al.

I wait.

Screw it, I go up front to the store, and ask:
Is Al somewhere here or has he left the premises?

Al's upstairs.

AL, CUSTOMER TO SEE YOU!

Al calls, coming, and I see a crochety old man give
me a snarl.

RuhRoh.

Me: Hi, I've just dropped a lawn mower out back and

Al: I can't work on it today.

Me: Oh, I know you are very busy, I'd just appreciate
if you glance at it and determine if it's a quick fix
or real effort.

Al: Hmm, what's wrong with it?

Me: It was working and then I replaced a bent blade
and then I couldn't start it.

Girl behind the counter: Bent blade? Probably a bent
shaft.

Al: Hmm, you bent the blade? On what? Might be a stripped flywheel
- might as well throw it away.

Me: (in scowling pissed teeth gritting venom dripping voice)
No, I didn't bend it. My daughter's boyfriend bent it. Not
sure on what.

Al: (probably a father, probably has a daughter, attitude shift)
OK, well give me a few minutes.

Me: Take your time, I'll be waiting out back.

Wait about 2 minutes, he comes out, he's pissed. Someone
left a box to big in the freezer, all his food got ruined.

Checks the oil. Smells it. Has gas in it. He asks me what
side I turned it on when I changed the blade. Wrong side
of course.

Pulls the air filter, soaked with gas.

Starts it without a problem.

Pull an air filter off the shelf, writes up a bill, tells
be to up front to pay.

$6 for the air filter.

I go back with the receipt, try to give him $10. He doesn't
want to take it. I asked him to do me the favor and take it.
He smiles and does.

Helps me put it in the car, teaches me a bit about folding it
correctly.

I've made a friend.

We go home, unload, and Barb starts to mow the grass.

2 minutes later, she calls me, the blade is wobbling.

Oops.

Easy fix, tighten it up.

But then: It won't start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF?

I put it in the side he told me to.

I open up the air filter, it is fine.

I try some more.

I tell Barb to go away, maybe it needs time after flooding.

I wait 10 minutes.

I go out. I try to start it. Nope.

ARRGG!!!

And then I realize - I never plugged the spark plug wire
back in.

Plug in.

Starts immediately.

I mow the lawn. And discover a recently gauged sewer cleanout
cap - I can only assume that's what bent the blade.

I come in.

I take another shower.