Post #254,744
5/8/06 9:25:08 AM
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Death in the family.
My exwife's husband OD'd on heroin last night and lost his life. Please keep my ex, Lisa; their twin boys, Ben and Sam; and my son, Nick in your thoughts and prayers as they grieve this loss.
I got the call about an hour ago. We don't know if it was intentional or not, they had had several fights over the past couple of days - after she discovered that he'd been using drugs again. She kicked him out after a fight late last night. He called the Red Cross shelter there (colo spgs) to find a place for the night. Details are sketchy at this point, though we understand he arrived at the shelter very high. They took him to the ER immediately, but the doctors couldn't save him.
My ex is hysterical. Her mom, sister, and mother-in-law are on their way to be with her, help with arrangements, and help with the boys.
Tonia and I are more than a little freaked out trying to process everything.
And I've got to tell my son that his step-dad is gone, which I plan to do after school today.
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #254,745
5/8/06 9:36:57 AM
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Oh man, thats a lot of grief there
your ex is gonna be doing a lot of self blaming, ensure that she gets some handholding from some alanon or other similar folks.
thanx,
bill
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
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Post #254,747
5/8/06 9:44:33 AM
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Thinking good thoughts and hope for, above all, the kids.
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Post #254,750
5/8/06 10:20:58 AM
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Sorry for you and yours.
What Box said, refer her to Alanon.
-----------------------------------------
Impeach Bush. Impeach Cheney. Do it now.
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Post #254,752
5/8/06 10:44:12 AM
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Prayers being said for you and for family
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Post #254,754
5/8/06 10:49:31 AM
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Ouch. I feel for your situation.
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #254,758
5/8/06 11:20:57 AM
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Oh, that sucks. My prayers for all.
And good luck.
Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
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Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
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Post #254,761
5/8/06 11:28:41 AM
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That's awful hard. Best thoughts to you and yours.
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Post #254,771
5/8/06 12:33:34 PM
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Man, that's tough!
Good thought going out to you and your ex (& family)
jb4
"So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't."
— Stephen Colbert, at the White House Correspondent's Dinner 29Apr06
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Post #254,774
5/8/06 12:58:29 PM
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Condolences, Steve. :-( Peace to your wife and family.
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Post #254,778
5/8/06 1:43:53 PM
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Condolences, thoughts and prayers.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. (Herm Albright)
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Post #254,780
5/8/06 1:51:40 PM
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Peace to everyone.
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #254,804
5/8/06 8:08:36 PM
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Wow
Sorry.
I toy with the thought of my exit strategy, but the target time frame is age 67.
Reality sucks.
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Post #254,812
5/8/06 9:41:04 PM
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Why that age in particular?
I'm curious. Frailty somehow becomes unbearable at 67?
-----------------------------------------
Impeach Bush. Impeach Cheney. Do it now.
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Post #254,817
5/8/06 10:17:52 PM
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Retirement at 65
Mild drug usage for a year.
Heavy drug usage for another year, spiraling out of control.
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Post #254,813
5/8/06 9:43:18 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that Steve
Condolences to the people touched by this.
--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------
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Post #254,814
5/8/06 9:49:06 PM
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Sorry to hear it, Steve.
It sucks big time to have a man that had responsibilities to check out in this way. It certainly burdens your ex in raising their children and a blow to your son in losing his step-father. Concentrate on helping your son get through this. And if you can, let the ex know it's in no way her fault.
My daughter's (middle child's) ex-husband pulled a similar stunt a couple years ago except it was an OD on alcohol. Alcoholism was in fact the reason for the divorce to begin with. Not that is does any good, I cannot forgive him. One of my granddaughters has to grow up w/o a father.
Alex
\ufffdDrunkenness is simply voluntary insanity\ufffd -- Seneca, Roman philosopher
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Post #254,822
5/8/06 11:36:25 PM
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Sorry to hear that. :(
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Post #254,825
5/9/06 1:31:12 AM
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Jeeze that's hard to hear
Hoping for the best for you
[link|http://www.blackbagops.net|Black Bag Operations Log]
[link|http://www.objectiveclips.com|Artificial Intelligence]
[link|http://www.badpage.info/seaside/html|Scrutinizer]
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Post #254,895
5/9/06 9:13:00 PM
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Condolences
Darrell Spice, Jr. Trendy yet complex\nPeople seek me out - though they're not sure why\n[link|http://spiceware.org/gallery/ArtisticOverpass|Artistic Overpass] [link|http://www.spiceware.org/|SpiceWare]
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Post #254,905
5/9/06 11:04:42 PM
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My prayers and condolences
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life."
By Geoffrey F. Abert
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Post #255,020
5/11/06 2:03:35 AM
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that's rough
give yourself & your family time. this is going to take a while to process. peace be with all of you.
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #255,069
5/11/06 12:04:50 PM
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How's everyone doing now?
Are the kids okay?
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #255,126
5/11/06 4:59:50 PM
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Progressing.
The funny thing about life is we can't make it stop no matter how much we hurt or need it to.
Things are rough.
Her (my ex) Dr. gave her valium - she was all fucked up when I talked to her on the phone last night - wouldn't let her talk to Nick (our son) that way. The irony of that and how her husband died just makes me want to puke. I hope that the valium helps her get through a few days here, but that she gets off it ASAP. Her dad came out from Indiana and has been a big help getting things arranged and taking take of the twins. Her (crazy) mom and (whacko) sister, who are local, haven't done shit. Oh wait, her mom took the dog, i suppose that's something.
She had a friend bring his Jeep over to our house. It needs brakes and a tune up and to be sold to help her cover funeral expenses. I think I can get the work done for her Saturday morning. Anyone want a 97 Cherokee Sport?
The twins are.. well let me say this, they don't understand and are crushed. They keep saying things like "Daddy can't die, he's supposed to take us to laser tag and camping this summer." I can't believe how hard that was to type. I haven't actually seen them since Mike died, so don't really know, but it's not sounding good from the second hand reports I hear.
My son is processing well, I can see the grieving process in work. He's running the gamut of sadness, anger, frustration, confusion. I think he understands the devastation that drugs can bring and the connection here.
Funeral is Saturday afternoon. She asked my wife and I to do "Amazing Grace" - I hope we can make it through the song.
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #255,132
5/11/06 5:20:21 PM
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This breaks my heart
It is never easy to "be strong" through an emotional funeral. Be easy on yourselves, Steve. Do the best you can and respect your feelings too that if you need to cry, it's ok. That is what funerals are for. I'm sure you and your wife will sing beautifully no matter what.
Many hugs,
Amy
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Post #255,141
5/11/06 6:19:49 PM
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be kind to the kids, depending on their age they may be okay
My youngest brother was nine when my father died. He recently told me he didnt face that fact until his mid 30's, he always thought that the old man left cause he couldnt stand living with ma. reasonable logic except he attended the funeral. My daughter didnt really understand her brother was dead until she actually saw him in the coffin. Of all of us she is recovering the best.
take care,
thanx,
bill
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
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Post #255,147
5/11/06 6:45:30 PM
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Twins are six, Nick's eleven.
Nick seems to understand what's going on, I don't think the twins do. I think they'll have issues later in life (for this and a number of other reasons).
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #255,149
5/11/06 6:52:25 PM
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yeah, sounds like it, try to be a god parent to them,
will help yer son,
thanx,
bill
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
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Post #255,170
5/11/06 10:35:37 PM
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:-(
I really don't know what to say, except time will help all of you get through this terrible situation. Come back here and tell us how you're feeling as events unfold. Talking helps, even when it's difficult.
Kids are pretty resiliant. Be a good listener for them.
I'm sure you'll do fine at the service. It's good of you to be there to help those he left behind.
Hang in there.
Cheers,
Scott.
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Post #255,215
5/12/06 9:04:25 AM
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Email me
Dau is looking for vehicle.
my id at your friendly mail service (letters only) dot gov
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. (Herm Albright)
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Post #255,399
5/14/06 12:16:23 AM
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Thanks, Joe, I'll email you tomorrow
I've not had time to look at it, yet - hopefully tomorrow afternoon. I looked it up on kbb.com - looks to be worth about 3300. I'll shoot a few pics tomorrow as well. But like I said, I don't know if anything's wrong with it.
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #255,449
5/14/06 10:36:56 PM
5/14/06 10:42:35 PM
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Pics and info
Pics of the Jeep are [link|http://users.frii.com/slowe/images/Jeep/| right here].
I think it's in decent shape for the miles. I drove it for awhile today. It's got a squeal when you first start it, I suspect the serpentine belt - looks due to be replaced anyway, so I'll do that tomorrow. Feels like a brake rotor is warped as there's a shudder you can feel in the pedal when getting on the brakes hard above about 35mph. It runs well, shifts well, and drives well. Everything seems to work - it's got:
power windows
power locks
power mirrors
cruise
a/c
am/fm/cassette
auto
4wd
4.0l engine
No rust that I can see, good tires, a few cosmetic issues that you can see in the pics.
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
Edited by Steve Lowe
May 14, 2006, 10:42:35 PM EDT
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Post #255,473
5/15/06 8:15:19 AM
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nice vette
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
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Post #255,575
5/16/06 5:53:44 AM
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From the 1979 - 1983 period, AFAICS.
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Post #255,591
5/16/06 11:01:39 AM
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Close, it's a 1978 - silver anniversary year.
Though it's not the silver anniversary 'edition'. That had silver on gray two-tone paint and front and rear spoilers. This one does have the L-82 motor and a 4 speed, though. Pretty fun car, but really needs some TLC.
78 was the first year of the 'bubble' back window, and that body style was built through 1982. There was no 1983 production 'vette, the 1982 model was extended a few months and the new body style of 1984 was an early release, IIRC.
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #255,625
5/16/06 5:14:41 PM
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Duh, silly me - that's what I meant!
Silver anniversary to new body style, was what I *meant* to say... At the back end, I still think I kind-of got it right -- the new body wasn't all that early, and the "82" model year was extended *well* into calendar year 1983, IIRC -- but the front end was a total brain fart. No, of course 1953 plus 25 doesn't *quite* equal 1979...
(Let's pretend I got it mixed up because -79 was the first time I actually saw a Silver Anniversary Edition Corvette in the flesh, two-tone paint and all. In Zürich, that was, and I got several good looks at it -- because its driver seemed to be as confused by the one-way restrictions on some of that city's main thoroughfares as was my Dad. :-)
[link|mailto:MyUserId@MyISP.CountryCode|Christian R. Conrad]
(I live in Finland, and my e-mail in-box is at the Saunalahti company.)
Yes Mr. Garrison, genetic engineering lets us correct God's horrible, horrible mistakes, like German people. - [link|http://maxpages.com/southpark2k/Episode_105|Mr. Hat]
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Post #255,484
5/15/06 11:29:14 AM
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WIll have daughter look at pics tonight after school
I Have no idea what she is looking for in a vehicle...
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. (Herm Albright)
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Post #255,279
5/12/06 4:19:09 PM
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Stay strong
"I hope that the valium helps her get through a few days here, but that she gets off it ASAP".
As a recent victim of that dreamy medication, I agree here. I took it for a couple weeks for the labrynthitis and underwent 2 days of very grumpy/snappish withdrawal.
[link|http://www.blackbagops.net|Black Bag Operations Log]
[link|http://www.objectiveclips.com|Artificial Intelligence]
[link|http://www.badpage.info/seaside/html|Scrutinizer]
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Post #255,400
5/14/06 12:17:28 AM
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Thanks
She told me today she's not taking it anymore, only took it a couple of days there.
--
Steve
[link|http://www.ubuntulinux.org|Ubuntu]
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Post #255,403
5/14/06 1:03:00 AM
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That's good to hear
and I hope you pull through this with your colors flying. It sounds like a huge drag but you seem pretty strong to me. I think you'll be OK.
If it gets too much or you just want to vent/chat, email me at first intial last name at mac.com with your phone and I'll ring.
[link|http://www.blackbagops.net|Black Bag Operations Log]
[link|http://www.objectiveclips.com|Artificial Intelligence]
[link|http://www.badpage.info/seaside/html|Scrutinizer]
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