Post #251,928
4/12/06 1:19:36 PM
4/12/06 1:19:57 PM
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Wedding this Saturday
My brother is getting married this Saturday. One would think, "Hey, Thane in a tux, lotsa single women hanging around, dude!"
Wrong.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if your bro is single, at the reception you seat him at a table between two HAWT women, and let nature take it's course. Which, of course, indicates to me that I have been seated by my bro's fiancee - I found out yesterday that I have been placed between my dad and an old friend (from 4th grade - yeah, I've known this guy for 20 years or so) of my brother's and mine who happens to be gay.
Total cockblock. Yeah, I know, seating isn't everything, but it certainly helps.
So, I'm talking to this friend, and he of course isn't even thinking about hooking up at the wedding; gay people don't go to weddings to hook up. Suddenly, inspiration hits...
I remember reading that women often bring their gay friends to weddings to "ward off" potentially interested men; since few men bring gay friends to the wedding, this keeps the usual wingman from peeling off the companionship. Okay, things are looking better already. I've got the perfect wingman to get at a potential group of women who is off-limits to every other single guy at the wedding.
My friend remembers that at almost every wedding he's been to, the chief caterer is almost always gay, and his assistant is usually a) female and b) hotter than the Sahara desert... So he suggests that as our revenge for putting up with this boring wedding crap, we leave the wedding without food service...
Of course, since the very next morning I have to get up at Oh my God, what are we doing up this late'ning* and drive my grandmother back home, which is a 5 hour trip, then make another 5 hour trip back home the same day, and since I can't drive if I'm falling asleep, I have to get home at an early hour and go to sleep.
* I am such a fucking geek. I'm sure if anybody else gets the source of this without googling, they will be too ashamed to admit it outright, or be even more of a fucking geek than I am.
When somebody asks you to trade your freedoms for security, it isn't your security they're talking about.
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Post #251,929
4/12/06 1:48:09 PM
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going to a family gathering to get laid is a redneck thing
hope the potential dates are no more than 3 to a mouthful of teeth.
gluck,
bill
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
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Post #251,931
4/12/06 2:18:56 PM
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90% of the guests are from the Bride's side, not mine.
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Post #252,075
4/13/06 2:47:27 PM
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You are *way* too preoccupied with getting laid!
The reception isnt about you and your pecker, my friend! Go have a good time, celebrate your brother, and dont worry so much about what is going on in your pants.
(Trust me, all the adjustments you have to make after getting a divorce get easier over time. I understand completely what you are going through.)
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #252,080
4/13/06 3:53:57 PM
4/13/06 3:54:33 PM
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Not possible.
(referring to your subject only)
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
Edited by admin
April 13, 2006, 03:54:33 PM EDT
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Post #252,081
4/13/06 3:57:21 PM
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you are confused
he is *way* too preoccupied with not getting laid, as is natural :-)
thanx,
bill
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
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Post #252,090
4/13/06 4:43:20 PM
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I stand corrected.
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #252,111
4/13/06 6:39:12 PM
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Bah, should've posted it in Oh, Pun.
Was sharing a humorous anecdote - it's not a "OMG, Thane isn't going to score! Oh no, what ever shall we do!", but more of a "What are we going to do tonight, Brain?" type thing. :D
If I *REALLY* wanted to get laid, there are places I could go.
'Sides, I have to drive my grandmother to Oregon the next morning - 10 hour round trip. I need sleep, and lots of it the night before.
No, no comments about what the best way to get lots of sleep is, please.
When somebody asks you to trade your freedoms for security, it isn't your security they're talking about.
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Post #252,145
4/14/06 1:15:30 AM
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So you didn't get laid and are pissed. We understand.
No need to go on and on about it.
-----------------------------------------
Impeach Bush. Impeach Cheney. Do it now.
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Post #252,155
4/14/06 2:12:36 AM
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Hasn't even happened yet. :D
The wedding is THIS COMING Saturday.
But yes, I've been carrying on too much. Shutting up.
When somebody asks you to trade your freedoms for security, it isn't your security they're talking about.
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Post #252,167
4/14/06 9:14:49 AM
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Be careful with who you hook up with
You don't want to end up on this site:
[link|http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com|www.dontdatehimgirl.com]
There's few things in life that women enjoy more than trashing the reputation of men.
lincoln
"Chicago to my mind was the only place to be. ... I above all liked the city because it was filled with people all a-bustle, and the clatter of hooves and carriages, and with delivery wagons and drays and peddlers and the boom and clank of freight trains. And when those black clouds came sailing in from the west, pouring thunderstorms upon us so that you couldn't hear the cries or curses of humankind, I liked that best of all. Chicago could stand up to the worst God had to offer. I understood why it was built--a place for trade, of course, with railroads and ships and so on, but mostly to give all of us a magnitude of defiance that is not provided by one house on the plains. And the plains is where those storms come from." -- E.L. Doctorow
Never apply a Star Trek solution to a Babylon 5 problem.
I am not merely a "consumer" or a "taxpayer". I am a Citizen of the United States.
[link|mailto:bconnors@ev1.net|contact me]
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Post #252,169
4/14/06 9:18:10 AM
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Re: Be careful with who you hook up with
There's few things in life that women enjoy more than trashing the reputation of men. Broad brush, much?
Peter
[link|http://www.no2id.net/|Don't Let The Terrorists Win]
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Use P2P for legitimate purposes!
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Post #252,182
4/14/06 9:59:58 AM
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dont hang around the ladies much do you, skip?
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
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Post #252,202
4/14/06 12:54:08 PM
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Huh?
ROFLMAO!
Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
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Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
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Post #252,195
4/14/06 11:58:01 AM
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pun intended?
Darrell Spice, Jr. Trendy yet complex\nPeople seek me out - though they're not sure why\n[link|http://spiceware.org/gallery/ArtisticOverpass|Artistic Overpass] [link|http://www.spiceware.org/|SpiceWare]
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Post #252,222
4/14/06 3:44:55 PM
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Maybe they arranged the seating that way . . .
. . because they decided in your current condition you couldn't be trusted between two "HAWT women".
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #252,261
4/14/06 5:50:17 PM
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Nope, I'm certain who did it.
My brother is all about helpin' me out.
My sister-in-law-to-be is the one who suggested that I should limit myself to women who already have children, "because you're divorced, and that's a huge strike against you."
When somebody asks you to trade your freedoms for security, it isn't your security they're talking about.
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Post #252,288
4/14/06 9:32:11 PM
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Big fscking help, they are...
jb4
"Every Repbulican who wants to defend Bush on [the expansion of Presidential powers], should be forced to say, 'I wouldn't hesitate to see President Hillary Rodham Clinton have the same authority'."
&mdash an unidentified letter writer to Newsweek on the expansion of executive powers under the Bush administration
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Post #252,290
4/14/06 9:34:41 PM
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There's a term for that in the military: starter wife
===
Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
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Post #252,306
4/14/06 11:04:09 PM
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I've introduced Barb as my "1st wife"
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Post #252,324
4/15/06 8:45:31 AM
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Don't listen to her.
She's crock full of shit.
Speaking as a (formerly) divorced person...There are some females out there who immediately view divorced men as "damaged goods." Based on my experience dating them (or potentially trying to date them)...You don't want 'em, because you're you, and they're the damaged goods. This group of females who are damaged apparently includes your sister-in-law-to-be.
-YendorMike
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Benjamin Franklin, 1759 Historical Review of Pennsylvania
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Post #252,330
4/15/06 11:19:15 AM
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Don't worry, I'm not.
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Post #252,332
4/15/06 12:22:37 PM
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My Mom shares that same opinion
My first date after my divorce was with a man who was divorced. My mom told me I shouldnt go out with him because "HE'S DIVORCED". I still get a chuckle over that one.
Follow your MOUSE
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