Well, I'm glad to see you're feeling better.

I don't see Andrew doing that anyway. _I_ think he'd prefer to find a girl he doesn't have to be a jerk to.

I think MOST single 'nice guys' have to get over the nice-guy/jerk thing. I don't think either one is related to attracting a woman (except obliquely, as I said before). It's taken a lot of 'counselling' from my female friends for me to reach that conclusion.

I do have more than a few female friends, and I've had to console them SO many times about the jerks they were dating... (three of them have found really nice guys woth their time now, btw - all meeting their guys in really unusual circumstance, only one of them not actively looking) It's hard not to see jerks as having an advantage - I used to be very bitter about the subject myself. So much so I pretty much gave up on that part of my life for a long time. They are very frank with me now; they are actively trying to help me rather commiserating. I really am hoping to figure out what's what - so far it seems a 'mating display' of wealth and/or health (and/or) fitness is primary.

Next I've come to the conclusion that it's the ability to engage the lady personally. That can be intellectually, socially, or physically (dancing, etc.) - and the engagement is what counts, not necessarily whether the engagement is good or bad (I've had tales or arguments, spills, and lousy dancers - though the good anecdotes outnumber the bad). The more of these things, the better. Looks outside of health/fitness don't seem to matter that much... (I'm personally working on health/fitness, myself. That's something that benefits me anyway).

Being a nice guy doesn't seem to enter the situation. It gets you friends (sometimes very good friends), though, if the 'mating display' is rejected. That isn't a bad thing - but it can feed bitterness.

Chicken soup for the [link|http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1558744630/qid=1135354688/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-2389363-3240720?n=507846&s=books&v=glance|teenage soul]

Chicken soup for the [link|http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0757303137/qid=1135354706/sr=8-3/ref=pd_bbs_3/104-2389363-3240720?n=507846&s=books&v=glance|girl's soul]

Chicken soup for the [link|http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0757303285/qid=1135354787/sr=8-5/ref=pd_bbs_5/104-2389363-3240720?n=507846&s=books&v=glance|Grandma's soul]

Chicken soup for [link|http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0757302483/ref=pd_bxgy_text_b/104-2389363-3240720?%5Fencoding=UTF8|Every Mom's soul]

and on and on.

Too many varieties of chicken soup to choose from....

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