Post #232,464
11/4/05 3:26:20 PM
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Oh cynicism, thy name is Andrew.
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #232,467
11/4/05 4:07:38 PM
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Well, I didn't start out that way . . .
The final turning point was my visit to the draft board, a mill into which I entered as an healthy, optomistic, patriotic young man and exited 6 hours later as a hardened cynic with an undeserved 4F (a long, complex and hilarious story for another time). My one regret is that, still in my innocence in the early stages, I didn't steal the pen that said "Do Not Steal This Pen" on it. I would love to have that framed on my wall.
CYNIC, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. - Ambrose Bierce
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #232,474
11/4/05 4:58:35 PM
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What did you do for the 4F
Trip, fall, and land in doctor's lap? For my physical, if I could walk up to the table I was 1A.
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
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Post #232,486
11/4/05 7:19:56 PM
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It was an almost unblievable comedy of errors.
I'll write it up one of these days and post a link. A friend went through there some months later, and even with professional help wasn't able to do better than a 1Y (I understand that's an obsolete classification now).
A few months after that the Los Angeles draft board was shut down for investigation because they'd drafted a guy confined to a wheel chair. The guy's lawyer told him to go ahead and show up for boot camp to avoid an arrest warrant, which he did. It caused a bit of a fuss.
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #232,489
11/4/05 7:51:13 PM
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Ah, the good old days. [snif] ___________________:-/
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Post #232,568
11/5/05 10:00:25 PM
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Is it as good as Arlo Guthrie's story?
jb4
shrub●bish (Am., from shrub + rubbish, after the derisive name for America's 43 president; 2003) n. 1. a form of nonsensical political doubletalk wherein the speaker attempts to defend the indefensible by lying, obfuscation, or otherwise misstating the facts; GIBBERISH. 2. any of a collection of utterances from America's putative 43rd president. cf. BULLSHIT
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Post #232,498
11/4/05 9:01:58 PM
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Let me guess...
When they said "Spread your cheeks!" you put both your index fingers in your mouth and pulled on the corners of your mouth.
Alex
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. -- Bertrand Russell
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Post #232,505
11/4/05 11:23:07 PM
11/4/05 11:28:06 PM
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Well, it was at the embarrassment station . . .
. . where they do all the indelicate exams (OK, drop your pants! now cough!) lined up facing a table of guys in doctor suits who called up certain guys "Front and Center!" (without first reminding them to pull up their pants) to bellow, "IT SAYS ON YOUR PAPERWORK THAT YOU'RE QUEER! IS THAT TRUE?" where things really came unglued, but the groundwork had already been laid at previous stations.
I hadn't thought of that yet, so all I got was "IT SAYS HERE YOU'VE BEEN IN JAIL. WHAT WAS THAT FOR" but a few hours later when things had become really, really strange I added it to my repertory for good measure (I had to stonewall the psychologist though because I hadn't a clue what queers did).
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #232,506
11/5/05 12:23:45 AM
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I can just hear the song now... Andrew's Restaurant
The 18 minute song about cooking using common engineering principles.
-----------------------------------------
Lying about outing a CIA agent, something that is actually a threat to national security, is first-degree perjury. Lying about a blowjob is....ninth-degree perjury.
--Eddie Izzard
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Post #232,513
11/5/05 1:38:04 AM
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Sarge - I wanna kill.
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Post #232,524
11/5/05 10:01:43 AM
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sent to group W no doubt
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #232,550
11/5/05 4:17:27 PM
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I'm taking up a collection
We need to fly Andrew in to tell that story at 2 a.m. next to the pool at the BeePBash. BeeP can play guitar. I'll bet Box could accompany on harmonica.
===
Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
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Post #232,569
11/5/05 10:02:18 PM
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I'll bring my bass...
...and it'll be a Conspiracy!
jb4
shrub●bish (Am., from shrub + rubbish, after the derisive name for America's 43 president; 2003) n. 1. a form of nonsensical political doubletalk wherein the speaker attempts to defend the indefensible by lying, obfuscation, or otherwise misstating the facts; GIBBERISH. 2. any of a collection of utterances from America's putative 43rd president. cf. BULLSHIT
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Post #232,544
11/5/05 11:49:18 AM
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Re: Oh cynicism, thy name is Andrew.
Yes, but it's a cynicism without bitterness. I can appreciate and enjoy without having to imagine things are other than what they actually are.
People are highly imperfect and perpetually at cross purposes so it's not surprising life is difficult. We just have to enjoy the parts that are enjoyable, recognize the parts that aren't for what they are and not give them the power to destroy us.
That doesn't mean I can't bitch about them or poke fun at them though.
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
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Post #232,796
11/7/05 2:23:38 PM
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I couldnt agree with you more. Bitch away!
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #232,817
11/7/05 3:01:27 PM
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*splash*
Fire All Torpedoes! *chuckle* Some things I just have trouble resisting.... [link|http://www.runningworks.com|
] Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
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Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
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Post #232,904
11/7/05 7:07:33 PM
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Why you___mawfaw
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