Read it end to end.

Yes, the Escort is a fine little car and does the job it's supposed to do for me admirably. Unfortunately, it's not a good color (metalic dirt color, I call it). The biggest problem though, is in this city the "normal" car is a Mercedes, Lexus, BMW or Porche (including SUV versions of all those), or a Volvo (which must always be holding up traffic - so I don't qualify for a Volvo).

Even the Escort might squeek by if it was painted a good color and all the trim and headlight lenses were replaced, but that's too much expense so it has to be dumped. That'll be painful for me - a violation of my principles. I have never before replaced a car that could still be fixed.

Yes, I most certainly do respect you as an exceptional woman (but you're far away and rather younger). No, I'm not afraid of exceptional, educated, articulate or even ambitious women (which probably makes me seem a bit scarey to most women). That's probably the only sort that'll work out anyway - a messed up woman definitely will not (been close enough to know better).

I'm sure there are women of the right sort in my age range around here, but I'm confident enough they use the same initial rejection filters other women do that I'm not going to spend too much effort trying to root them out until Frank delivers on the car deal.

Darrell Spice, Jr. [link|http://spiceware.org/gallery/ArtisticOverpass|Artistic Overpass]\n[link|http://www.spiceware.org/|SpiceWare] - We don't do Windows, it's too much of a chore

My stock brokeress⁽¹⁾ won't have stuffed money in my bank until Saturday (due to Thanksgiving) but since Frank, my car buyer, used to be my memory broker (back when memory cost real money) I'm still on terms.

His customers ask, "West Coast Micro? What the hell does that have to do with cars?". His reply, "Nothing - that's why I'm keeping the name".

I'll drive the Escort down to Irvine and sign it over to Frank, then drive the Saturn back. He kept insisting on giving me some money for it until I told him "it's had an engine fire". That shut him up. Actually the fire was minor but it melted the handle off the dipstick and blistered the paint on the hood (bonnet, Peter⁽²⁾) in a couple of spots.

The fire also melted the air conditioning tubes, but the air conditioning never worked even though Frank spent $99 getting it serviced before delivering the car back in 2003. I've never had a car in which the air conditioning worked for more than a month.

Actually, this is a traumatic experience for me - never before in my life have I replaced a car that could still be repaired, never mind one that was still running. It's a violation of my most deeply held principles - all in the name of (potential) love. Women truly are the root of all Eeeeevil aren't they? Hmmmm, never noticed that before - Eve - Evil. What do you suppose that means?

I now quote Frank for posterity: "I've learned one hell of a lot about the car business since I sold you the Escort. This Saturn is going to look and drive like brand new". Frank, you're finally learning to be a used car salesman.

(1) Brokeress: "Lets sell Microsoft, it's way up from XBox publicity. Ooooops, I'll have to sell something else to compensate 'cause MS crossed over into capital gains for you". Actually there was plenty of cash last month but Ms. Brokeress called up and said she was taking it all to buy something that paid a dividend on the 11th. She hasn't given any of that back yet but cash is at $3,600.00 up from $0.00 in the last few days, so I guess that's what I pay Ms. Brokeress a commission for, right?

(2) British auto terminology is quaint, but doesn't hold a candle to Canadian. When I was driving a 1948 MG TC (aptly described as a "coffin riding on four harps"), it had a "crank" clipped behind the seat for times when that newfangled battery thing was low. A Canadian I knew insisted it was a "hand commencer".

--\n-------------------------------------------------------------------\n* Jack Troughton jake at consultron.ca *\n* [link|http://consultron.ca|http://consultron.ca] [link|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca|irc://irc.ecomstation.ca] *\n* Kingston Ontario Canada [link|news://news.consultron.ca|news://news.consultron.ca] *\n-------------------------------------------------------------------

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