If you must know...

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Post #218,106

by imqwerky

8/8/05 11:49:08 AM

If you must know...

I had a very corny English teacher in 9th grade. Puns were her speciality. Another joke she told:

Mussolini, Mao Tse Tung, and Lenin went to Heaven. Saint Peter let everyone through.

Then suddenly he said, "Nope, wait a minute! Hold the Mao".

Groan!

Peace,
Amy

Illegitimi non corborundum.

on taking women literally - (boxley) - (105) - Aug. 4, 2005, 03:25:27 PM EDT

:-) -NT - (mmoffitt) - Aug. 4, 2005, 05:18:18 PM EDT

*Snicker*. That was a good one. -NT - (bionerd) - Aug. 4, 2005, 06:23:53 PM EDT

:-) -NT - (cforde) - Aug. 5, 2005, 02:37:25 AM EDT

How 'bout some Brite Wimmen (tm) Bumper Stickers... - (imqwerky) - (98) - Aug. 5, 2005, 08:59:36 AM EDT

:-) Again. -NT - (Another Scott) - Aug. 5, 2005, 11:40:17 AM EDT

Let's not forget the GrandMater of 'em all - - (Ashton) - (96) - Aug. 5, 2005, 09:02:33 PM EDT

30 days has September - (bionerd) - (95) - Aug. 6, 2005, 08:34:36 AM EDT

Simple. - (Another Scott) - (94) - Aug. 6, 2005, 11:42:58 AM EDT

An appropriate joke... - (imqwerky) - (92) - Aug. 6, 2005, 06:53:13 PM EDT

..deserves an inappropriate one - (Ashton) - (91) - Aug. 6, 2005, 07:59:19 PM EDT

I know ! - (imqwerky) - (90) - Aug. 7, 2005, 09:01:56 AM EDT

One's a cunning bunch of runts... -NT - (hnick) - (89) - Aug. 7, 2005, 12:10:48 PM EDT

If you answer, you must supply another :) -NT - (imqwerky) - (88) - Aug. 7, 2005, 12:26:46 PM EDT

OK, just the punchline - you supply the shaggy dog - - (Ashton) - (87) - Aug. 7, 2005, 05:55:14 PM EDT

This is an oldie but a goodie - (imqwerky) - (86) - Aug. 7, 2005, 06:24:11 PM EDT

I'm Googling for a deprogrammer in your area - (Ashton) - (35) - Aug. 8, 2005, 02:11:13 AM EDT

I have to confesss... I don't get the joke. - (Meerkat) - (32) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:06:32 AM EDT

barefoot boy with cheeks ot tan, bubbles? -NT - (boxley) - (29) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:19:40 AM EDT

Sure it conjures up some interesting imagery... - (Meerkat) - (28) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:54:29 AM EDT

was bubbles the correct answer to your joke? -NT - (boxley) - (1) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:55:49 AM EDT

Sorry, forgot to answer that bit. - (Meerkat) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:59:25 AM EDT

James Whitcomb Riley, for one: - A Barefoot Boy - (Ashton) - (25) - Aug. 8, 2005, 03:34:50 PM EDT

nowadays you would get arrested for pedophilia writing that - (boxley) - (10) - Aug. 8, 2005, 03:43:05 PM EDT

Yes, but in Murica - - - -NT - (Ashton) - (9) - Aug. 8, 2005, 05:51:07 PM EDT

dunno about albaqurque but in Southron Georgia - (boxley) - (8) - Aug. 8, 2005, 06:25:24 PM EDT

dog/dead pooch/screwed - (Ashton) - (7) - Aug. 8, 2005, 07:00:15 PM EDT

dunno, these looks good - (boxley) - (2) - Aug. 8, 2005, 07:32:02 PM EDT

Man, I love Metallica! -NT - (bionerd) - (1) - Aug. 8, 2005, 07:55:19 PM EDT

sshhh -NT - (boxley) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:30:04 PM EDT

Alas - (imqwerky) - Aug. 8, 2005, 07:56:13 PM EDT

Poetry ain't dead, it's called Rap now! :-D -NT - (imqwerky) - (1) - Aug. 8, 2005, 07:59:04 PM EDT

It might as well have died (I hate rap) -NT - (ben_tilly) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:10:32 PM EDT

Heard him read on NPR - (Arkadiy) - Sept. 20, 2005, 07:45:13 AM EDT

That poem stuck a cord with me - (bionerd) - (6) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:04:17 PM EDT

The unkindly reminder that what? - (ben_tilly) - (5) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:11:28 PM EDT

Either that or I'm boring you - (bionerd) - (4) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:17:42 PM EDT

Trust me, you'd find it surprisingly hard to bore me... -NT - (ben_tilly) - (3) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:21:20 PM EDT

Is that good or bad? -NT - (bionerd) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:22:17 PM EDT

Hey...Are you gonna tell my joke? - (imqwerky) - (1) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:28:01 PM EDT

Nope - (ben_tilly) - Aug. 8, 2005, 08:41:50 PM EDT

Poetry not (quite) dead. - (Meerkat) - (6) - Aug. 9, 2005, 09:42:31 AM EDT

My all-time fave - (imqwerky) - Aug. 9, 2005, 04:25:48 PM EDT

You're right.. actually it's Everywhere (in small snippets) - (Ashton) - (4) - Aug. 10, 2005, 01:18:31 PM EDT

I can still recite - (imqwerky) - (3) - Aug. 10, 2005, 02:08:51 PM EDT

I kinda like Sonnet CXVI of the Bard - (Ashton) - (1) - Aug. 10, 2005, 02:59:01 PM EDT

Will has a permanent place in my heart. - (imqwerky) - Aug. 10, 2005, 03:12:03 PM EDT

:-) - (ben_tilly) - Aug. 10, 2005, 03:13:27 PM EDT

You're not alone :-\\ -NT - (SpiceWare) - Aug. 8, 2005, 09:50:04 AM EDT

Apparently it goes back to this poem. - (Another Scott) - Aug. 8, 2005, 12:09:56 PM EDT

If you must know... - (imqwerky) - Aug. 8, 2005, 11:49:08 AM EDT

ICLRPD (new thread) - (imric) - Aug. 10, 2005, 03:03:40 PM EDT

Hey...Y'all fergot sumpthin'! - (imqwerky) - (49) - Aug. 8, 2005, 12:17:23 PM EDT

Gotcha! - (imqwerky) - (48) - Aug. 8, 2005, 10:08:24 PM EDT

:-) -NT - (Another Scott) - Aug. 8, 2005, 11:03:52 PM EDT

dont get it -NT - (boxley) - (46) - Aug. 9, 2005, 08:28:06 AM EDT

Shirley, you jest! -NT - (imqwerky) - (45) - Aug. 9, 2005, 04:28:36 PM EDT

and dont call me surely -NT - (boxley) - (44) - Aug. 9, 2005, 06:48:45 PM EDT

The fog is getting thicker - (bionerd) - (43) - Aug. 9, 2005, 07:15:23 PM EDT

Guess I picked the wrong week... - (bepatient) - (42) - Aug. 9, 2005, 10:34:15 PM EDT

What's our vector Victor? -NT - (bionerd) - (41) - Aug. 10, 2005, 09:11:25 AM EDT

S'mofo butter layin' me to da'BONE! Jackin' me up..tight me! -NT - (Another Scott) - (40) - Aug. 10, 2005, 09:22:57 AM EDT

Ooo- very good! - (bionerd) - Aug. 10, 2005, 09:29:10 AM EDT

Jive-a** turkey ain't got no sense anyhow. -NT - (bepatient) - (38) - Aug. 10, 2005, 09:34:57 AM EDT

Ever see a grown man naked? -NT - (bionerd) - (37) - Aug. 10, 2005, 10:43:56 AM EDT

Do you like movies about gladiators? -NT - (bepatient) - (36) - Aug. 10, 2005, 11:16:39 AM EDT

Have you ever been to a Turkish prison? -NT - (bionerd) - (35) - Aug. 10, 2005, 12:08:18 PM EDT

Duuuude...? -NT - (folkert) - (3) - Aug. 10, 2005, 12:22:01 PM EDT

Where's my car? -NT - (bepatient) - (1) - Aug. 10, 2005, 01:07:15 PM EDT

Lurkin LRPD: It seems far too little Thorazine is sold and - (Ashton) - Aug. 10, 2005, 01:25:09 PM EDT

Saaaawwweeeeeet!!!!!!!! -NT - (imqwerky) - Aug. 10, 2005, 01:56:18 PM EDT

Whaddaya make of this, Johnny? - (Meerkat) - (30) - Aug. 11, 2005, 08:35:21 AM EDT

Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl! - (bionerd) - (29) - Aug. 11, 2005, 09:15:26 AM EDT

Heath, Nick, Jerrod...theres a fire in the barn! - (bepatient) - (10) - Aug. 11, 2005, 10:03:33 AM EDT

A bit of packing tape should take care of this. -NT - (folkert) - (9) - Aug. 11, 2005, 10:17:54 AM EDT

I give. What's that from? -NT - (bionerd) - (8) - Aug. 11, 2005, 02:08:00 PM EDT

Ummm. Okay LRPDs don't really need to be explained. - (folkert) - (2) - Aug. 11, 2005, 02:27:03 PM EDT

Didnt know you were jumping to LRPDs. - (bionerd) - (1) - Aug. 11, 2005, 02:34:44 PM EDT

That sound you just heard... - (folkert) - Aug. 11, 2005, 02:45:10 PM EDT

Same movie - (bepatient) - (4) - Aug. 11, 2005, 03:19:15 PM EDT

Damn, you're good! - (bionerd) - (3) - Aug. 11, 2005, 04:15:06 PM EDT

I've seen it a few dozens of times - (bepatient) - (2) - Aug. 11, 2005, 04:27:51 PM EDT

Someone should write a book -NT - (drewk) - (1) - Aug. 11, 2005, 04:50:42 PM EDT

I'd need a ghost writer. - (bepatient) - Aug. 11, 2005, 06:11:56 PM EDT

Just wait, they will thank you - (imqwerky) - (17) - Aug. 11, 2005, 11:21:32 AM EDT

When do I put my clothes onto the lower peg? -NT - (Another Scott) - (15) - Aug. 11, 2005, 01:54:31 PM EDT

What's wrong with a kiss, boy? - (bionerd) - (14) - Aug. 11, 2005, 02:11:33 PM EDT

Amen, Sistah! :-) -NT - (imqwerky) - Aug. 11, 2005, 04:17:58 PM EDT

Wha-aat.._______(Ah - found the John Barth quip) - (Ashton) - (6) - Aug. 11, 2005, 07:06:59 PM EDT

Never seen "The Meaning Of Life"? - (admin) - (5) - Aug. 11, 2005, 06:20:09 PM EDT

G'ah - (bepatient) - Aug. 11, 2005, 06:26:59 PM EDT

Whew. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. - (bionerd) - (3) - Aug. 11, 2005, 07:02:58 PM EDT

If you have to explain it, it isn't sarcasm anymore. -NT - (folkert) - (2) - Aug. 11, 2005, 07:04:32 PM EDT

yeah, yeah, yeah........ -NT - (bionerd) - (1) - Aug. 11, 2005, 07:11:48 PM EDT

Hey Girl, - (imqwerky) - Aug. 11, 2005, 10:24:55 PM EDT

Then y'all stop... - (bepatient) - Aug. 11, 2005, 06:13:03 PM EDT

swap spit, no clit got it -NT - (boxley) - (4) - Aug. 12, 2005, 09:57:48 AM EDT

A poet for the ages! -NT - (imric) - (3) - Aug. 12, 2005, 10:38:54 AM EDT

Yup, ages 7 - 13 -NT - (drewk) - (1) - Aug. 12, 2005, 10:58:33 AM EDT

:-) -NT - (boxley) - Aug. 12, 2005, 12:17:37 PM EDT

s perv/poet -NT - (Ashton) - Aug. 12, 2005, 02:50:41 PM EDT

:-) -NT - (bionerd) - Aug. 11, 2005, 02:14:34 PM EDT

Ahhh... that's what I thought :-p -NT - (bionerd) - Aug. 6, 2005, 09:47:35 PM EDT

oops - (imqwerky) - (1) - Aug. 5, 2005, 09:39:04 AM EDT

:-) -NT - (Another Scott) - Aug. 5, 2005, 09:17:26 AM EDT

ROFL! -NT - (imric) - Aug. 5, 2005, 09:10:56 AM EDT

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