Huh.. I coulda put on my Air Force mess-dress uniform, hopped on the cycle and hand delivered your original screed. (Bringing along my Mad Hatter hat for the presentation, natch; beats a silly helmet thingie..)
The Hobbit-brunch (Petaluma has a few) -- on your nickel.
:-\ufffd
PS - Nice try.
But presuming cuth in a bizness, here in the Faith-based years -- why, that's almost Pollyanna.
It's. All. ShowBiz!