being out of work for so long, and not keeping my MS-skills up to date with .NET, etc might be major factors against me.
I don't really know what I can do, I might not even be able to handle a job anymore. I might be on disability for the rest of my life. Maybe it is the best thing for me right now?
I cannot escape my past, not sure what former employers would say about me, not that they understood that I have an illness that limits my abilities. Maybe I can get a simple job, but not enough to support a family.
All I know is that I cannot take the road that a best friend of mine took in 1999 when he killed himself. I'm doing my best to prevent that. Not easy, but I still live.