Norm, are you on antidepressants? If not, go get some. If so, switch - they're not working.

See a *psychiatrist* (the kind with an MD) and get your brain rebalanced.

Fuck the money. Just spend it. If you pop off the money won't do you any good anyhow.

It will make a huge difference.

I feel for you. I've been there.

I got a BS in Petroleum Engineering towards the end of the 80's when the oil market crashed. I tried to get work in mechanical, chemical, and electrical engineering - none of the hiring managers could see the parallels between my degree and a regular mechanical degree. I had all the same knowledge, just flavored differently. So hydraulics was called drilling fluids - its still all about pressures and forces.

I was unemployable for a year after getting out of college. I took stupid jobs like sticking labels onto floppy diskettes from midnight to 8:00 am and amassed a folder over an inch thick of rejection letters. Finally I got a crappy little job as help desk guy making 24k per year living in Boulder (where a studio apt at the time was over $500 per month) and I had to bring my own computer from home. And then I got fired from that after a year and had to work at a truck rental desk for 6 months before landing a job doing F77 at the DOE. Then my career started to take off.

I just needed a break. So do you. Meanwhile, your job is to watch for your break and be ready for it when it comes. That means you get your brain chemistry sorted out, work out, play with your kid, get up every morning, get dressed and get out of the house for awhile. Paint your house - paint isn't that expensive and it'll make you feel good. Heck, just paint a bathroom.

But first, get some antidepressants. They will lift the fog that makes everything look hopeless.

and I had to move out because I couldn't make my rent. I ended up near Wash Park in something for $225.