Post #217,521
8/4/05 3:25:27 PM
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on taking women literally
A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks.
He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"
He did just that.
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale
Nobody has seen or heard from him since.
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #217,551
8/4/05 5:18:18 PM
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:-)
bcnu,
Mikem
It would seem, therefore, that the three human impulses embodied in religion are fear, conceit, and hatred. The purpose of religion, one might say, is to give an air of respectibility to these passions. -- Bertrand Russell
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Post #217,562
8/4/05 6:23:53 PM
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*Snicker*. That was a good one.
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Post #217,619
8/5/05 2:37:25 AM
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:-)
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #217,650
8/5/05 8:59:36 AM
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How 'bout some Brite Wimmen (tm) Bumper Stickers...
1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T
GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH
PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST
BETTER RICH.
7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE
QUEEN.
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN.
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?
12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE
IT.
15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE
FIRST TIME.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE
SHUT UP.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD
PEOPLE.
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
21. YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES FOR DINNER: TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
22. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
23. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
24. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE
THE BODIES.
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #217,707
8/5/05 11:40:17 AM
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:-) Again.
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Post #217,810
8/5/05 9:02:33 PM
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Let's not forget the GrandMater of 'em all -
A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE
Then there's Gloria Steinem's
The truth shall set you free
But first
It will piss you off
(But I tend to think that #1 Pith goes to that one from the book, Zyklon B - already quoted.)
If'n ya ever gets, on local PBS (I think.. or it could be an Extra? which a certain PBS station in San Jose buys, along with ScFi and mysteries off the beaten track) - would like to hear your review.
Ever catch 'Coupling'?
Surely a Brit-Rorschach, but with other universal daily neuroses spit-shined.
(Think one could do a Thesis from this material, from enough angles to go on for the Director of Ath-a-letics and the Bee Em Dubayew, too.)
A.
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Post #217,835
8/6/05 8:34:36 AM
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30 days has September
April, June
And November
All the rest have 31
Except for my Grandmother who rides a bicycle.
My Dad always used to say that.
I dont know why.
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Post #217,844
8/6/05 11:42:58 AM
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Simple.
[link|http://www.crowl.org/Lawrence/time/months.html|Here]: February -- month of Februa
Middle English Februarius
Latin Februarius "of Februa"
Latin Februa(s) "Februa" + -arius "ary (pertaining to)"
Latin Februarius mensis "month of Februa"
Latin dies februatus "day of purification"
Februarius had 28 days, until circa 450 BC when it had 23 or 24 days on some of every second year, until Julius when it had 29 days on every fourth year and 28 days otherwise.
Februa is the Roman festival of purification, held on February fifteenth. It is possibly of Sabine origin. Your father was clearly drawing a connection between the purity of his grandmother and her love of flying on her bicycle. She was the inspiration for the [link|http://timstvshowcase.com/nun.html|Flying Nun]. HTH! ;-) Cheers, Scott.
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Post #217,870
8/6/05 6:53:13 PM
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An appropriate joke...
A really hot chick is at a biker bar and gets picked up by a handsome, rugged dude. He buys her a drink and they seem to hit it off. Finally he asks her if she wants to go to his place.
"Well, I'd like to," she says,"but I'm on my cycle."
"That's no problem," he says. "I'm on a Harley and you can just follow me."
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #217,878
8/6/05 7:59:19 PM
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..deserves an inappropriate one
What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a thin woman?
Too easy for a clue - as the Chess puzzle often sez
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Post #217,941
8/7/05 9:01:56 AM
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I know !
One is a phony buck! :-D
Okay, would you like another?
What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
(Begin the Final Jeopardy jingle...)
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #217,959
8/7/05 12:10:48 PM
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One's a cunning bunch of runts...
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Post #217,960
8/7/05 12:26:46 PM
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If you answer, you must supply another :)
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Post #218,008
8/7/05 5:55:14 PM
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OK, just the punchline - you supply the shaggy dog -
Oh boyfoot bear with teak of Chan
:-\ufffd
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Post #218,014
8/7/05 6:20:43 PM
8/7/05 6:24:11 PM
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This is an oldie but a goodie
There once lived a storekeeper named Chan, who sold beautiful antique carvings made from all kinds of wood. His most prized possessions were those made from the teak trees of Taiwan. Life was good for Mr. Chan until suddenly, a rash of burglaries beleaguered the poor man. He would awake to the sound of smashing glass to find his prized carvings gone from their case, with only the footprints of a small child as evidence of the crime.
The police were baffled as this crime spree continued for days. So, finally, Mr. Chan took matters in his own hands and hid himself behind a curtain to wait for the perpetrator. Try as he might to stay awake, Mr. Chan nodded off, only to be rudely awakened to the shrill sound of the alarm and the sound of the case being smashed to bits. In sheer terror, Mr. Chan came face to face with a grizzly bear!
With his huge paw, the bear took one swipe to empty the contents of the case, then he deftly turned on tiny, childlike feet to leave the shop.
Mr. Chan, having dropped the only weapon he had while dozing, summoned his courage and shouted with all his might..."Stop right there, Oh boy-foot bear with Teaks of Chan!"
rimshot
Ok...punchline: "Great Scott, don't tell me you have a set of clubs in there, sweetie!"
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
Edited by imqwerky
Aug. 7, 2005, 06:24:11 PM EDT
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Post #218,062
8/8/05 2:11:13 AM
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I'm Googling for a deprogrammer in your area
Ye Gawds, Woman!
I was a mere tad when that one came out, and I'd have had to reinvent the patter, now.
(though I don't think.. it Was an er Grizzly, y'know, mah lil fudgin-cactus flowr ;-)
[That's Worse than my recalling that the acceleration of 'G' in Pasadena CA, a while back - was 980.665 cm/sec\ufffd. And that's a pretty inane thing to waste neurons storin.]
;^>
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Post #218,068
8/8/05 8:05:05 AM
8/8/05 8:06:32 AM
|
I have to confesss... I don't get the joke.
Let's hope it's because I'm foreign, not dumb :)
But to fulfil the obligation... (and it's rude, sorry Mr. Ashcroft)
What's the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath?
Yes, I understand the Spoonerism, but what's the reference?
Two out of three people wonder where the other one is.
Edited by Meerkat
Aug. 8, 2005, 08:06:32 AM EDT
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Post #218,070
8/8/05 8:19:40 AM
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barefoot boy with cheeks ot tan, bubbles?
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #218,077
8/8/05 8:54:29 AM
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Sure it conjures up some interesting imagery...
but what does it mean? Where is it from? I've never heard the phrase before.
Two out of three people wonder where the other one is.
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Post #218,079
8/8/05 8:55:49 AM
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was bubbles the correct answer to your joke?
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #218,080
8/8/05 8:59:25 AM
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Sorry, forgot to answer that bit.
Nope, the correct answer, or part thereof, is:
"One has a soul full of hope"
Two out of three people wonder where the other one is.
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Post #218,148
8/8/05 3:34:50 PM
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James Whitcomb Riley, for one: - A Barefoot Boy
A poem of another era; dunno if Riley, Whittier have travelled way-South -?- but it would be as alien to an American of today, much under 50ish.
But there are others who used this simile ~~ universally recognized here in '30-40s and later midst the few.
John Greenleaf Whittier:
Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy with cheeks of tan!
With thy turned-up pantaloons,
And thy merry whistled tunes;
With thy red lip, redder still,
Kissed by strawberries on the hill;
With the sunshine on thy face,
Through thy torn brim's jaunty grace,
From my heart I give thee joy, -
I was once a barefoot boy.
Little poetry is 'done' here now, of course - the Russians OTOH fill [used to fill??] auditoria to hear poetry read, often having memorized the better ones.. even newer ones.
Oz -?- no idea!
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Post #218,154
8/8/05 3:43:05 PM
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nowadays you would get arrested for pedophilia writing that
poetry is still alive, tampa has twice weekly poetry readings at various venues. I am pretty sure within walking distance of Rand's house you can hear peotry readings at high volume levels but further towards the UC Berkely campus poetry can be found unless it has changed that much.
thanx,
bill
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
|
Post #218,210
8/8/05 5:51:07 PM
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Yes, but in Murica - - -
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Post #218,228
8/8/05 6:25:24 PM
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dunno about albaqurque but in Southron Georgia
[link|http://atlanta.about.com/cs/artsentertainment/a/atlpoetry.htm|http://atlanta.about...t/a/atlpoetry.htm]
appears to be alive and well
thanx,
bill
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #218,243
8/8/05 7:00:15 PM
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dog/dead pooch/screwed
'Poetry' is a non-thing in Murica, save within those fringes, of many dimensions.
Few can remember having heard, read 'a poem'; miniscule have ever imagined..trying to Make One!
Yes, we (still) have a "Poet Laureate".
Wanna guess how many of the new-Trotskyites know who he is, or have read .. a poem, since it was part of a course? (certainly Not part of any MBA course)
And a Surgeon General - is there still one of those? I seem to recall the last one being a bit too uppity for the smooth running of the Play.
Poetry went out (along with debate classes in HS) when culture became spelled kultur - remember?
Wanna do Bach, too?
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Post #218,249
8/8/05 7:32:02 PM
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dunno, these looks good
A chicago poet
the world is a vampire, sent to drain
secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
and what do i get, for my pain
betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
********************
a California boy
Say your prayers little one
Don\ufffdt forget, my son
To include everyone
Tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the sandman he comes
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land
Something\ufffds wrong, shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren\ufffdt of snow white
Dreams of war, dreams of liars
Dreams of dragon\ufffds fire
And of things that will bite
Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the lord my soul to take
Hush little baby, don\ufffdt say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It\ufffds just the beast under your bed,
In your closet, in your head
Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We\ufffdre off to never never land
***********************************
New York (figures)
I am the god of fuck,
virgins sold in quantity, herded by heredity
red-neck-burn-out-mid-west-mind, "who said date rape isn't kind?"
porno-nation, evaluation
what's this, "time for segregation"
libido, libido fascination, too much oral defication
white trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy
vcr's and vasoline, tv-fucked by plastic queens
cash in hand and dick on screen, who said god was ever clean?
bible-belt 'round anglo-waste, putting sinners in their place
yeah, right, great if you're so good explain the shit stains on your face
white trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy
***************************
Poetry isnt dead
thanx,
bill
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #218,252
8/8/05 7:55:19 PM
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Man, I love Metallica!
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Post #218,266
8/8/05 8:30:04 PM
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sshhh
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
|
Post #218,254
8/8/05 7:56:13 PM
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Alas
I have fond memories of my maternal grandmother reading James Whitcomb Riley and Wordsworth, among others to me as a child. Upon graduation from high school, she presented to me a lovely, leather-bound book of 100 best-loved poems.
Her inscription reads:
"To Thyself be true,so honestly, steadfastly true,
That neither friend nor foe can say
He has been deceived in you."
(which is a paraphrased version of Shakespeare's "Polonius' Advice to Laertes" from "Hamlet")
She was a wonderful woman.
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,255
8/8/05 7:59:04 PM
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Poetry ain't dead, it's called Rap now! :-D
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,257
8/8/05 8:10:32 PM
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It might as well have died (I hate rap)
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #225,571
9/20/05 7:45:13 AM
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Heard him read on NPR
Beautiful orations. High rethoric. Even artful prose. But to call it poetry? Bull.
------
179. I will not outsource core functions.
--
[link|http://omega.med.yale.edu/~pcy5/misc/overlord2.htm|.]
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Post #218,256
8/8/05 8:04:17 PM
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That poem stuck a cord with me
It brought to mind the fleeting freedom of summer, the innocent beauty of children and the unkind reminder that time marches on.
sigh
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Post #218,258
8/8/05 8:11:28 PM
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The unkindly reminder that what?
I forgot what you were talking about. Must be the Alzheimers...
Cheers,
Ben
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #218,259
8/8/05 8:17:42 PM
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Either that or I'm boring you
with my musings and you couldnt bring yourself to retain what you just read.
That'd be my guess.
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Post #218,262
8/8/05 8:21:20 PM
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Trust me, you'd find it surprisingly hard to bore me...
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #218,263
8/8/05 8:22:17 PM
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Is that good or bad?
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Post #218,264
8/8/05 8:28:01 PM
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Hey...Are you gonna tell my joke?
It's just been sitting there.
[link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=218108|http://z.iwethey.org...?contentid=218108]
Peaches,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,268
8/8/05 8:41:50 PM
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Nope
My brain started censoring itself after commenting to myself, "Nope, just one club."
Cheers,
Ben
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #218,350
8/9/05 9:42:31 AM
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Poetry not (quite) dead.
I still remember fondly from school when we were going through a 'metaphysical poets' stage.. John Donne's 'the Flea' I shall never forget. It's concise, beautiful, and somewhat naughty. (probably much moreso in this dy and age).
My English teachers work was not in vain, but my Maths teachers, well... what is a quadratic equation, anyway?
Two out of three people wonder where the other one is.
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Post #218,413
8/9/05 4:25:48 PM
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My all-time fave
poem is "My Last Duchess" by Robert Browning: the most concise murder mystery ever written. I've often dreamed of writing a screen play, but then consider that it would never hold a candle to the original.
[link|http://mason.gmu.edu/~lsmithg/275duchess.htm|http://mason.gmu.edu...hg/275duchess.htm]
My Fantasy Cast:
The Duke: Alan Rickman
The Duchess: Kate Winslet
Fra Pandolf: Johnny Depp
The Count: Hector Elizondo
The Count's Daughter: Salma Hayek
The Count's Aide (to whom the Duke is speaking): Alfred Molina
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,622
8/10/05 1:18:31 PM
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You're right.. actually it's Everywhere (in small snippets)
We only live two moments
let one of them be for wisdom.
--Voltaire
All theory, dear friend, is grey, but the golden tree of actual life springs ever green.
--Goethe
Not every truth is the better for showing its face undistinguished; and often silence is the wisest course for a man to pursue.
--Pindar
(people used to remember such material, before meeja filled all the time)
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Post #218,637
8/10/05 2:08:51 PM
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I can still recite
"Abou Ben Adhem","The World Is Too Much With Us (still a relevant poem), and "No Man Is An Island", just to name a few.
We are letting our kids down by not having them memorize poetry or passages of well-written prose (i.e., The Gettysburg Address, Shakespeare, speeches from that long lost species: the statesman/orator). Nope, Bush thinks it's more impotent that they study ID.
tsk, tsk.
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,643
8/10/05 2:59:01 PM
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I kinda like Sonnet CXVI of the Bard
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
\tAdmit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
\tOr bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
\tThat looks on tempests and is never shaken;
. . .
It's an entire philosophy course (and religio reappraisal) in One - One - One! Package.
But we'll always have Paris.
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Post #218,648
8/10/05 3:12:03 PM
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Will has a permanent place in my heart.
My! But it is wonderful to exercise that area of the grey matter again.
Mental aerobics is so good for the body. Much better than that sick-o asphyxiation-speak going on in the other forum.
This is an infinitely better high.
No shoes, shirt, batteries, or membership fees required.
Just, perhaps, a current library card. ;)
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,650
8/10/05 3:13:27 PM
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:-)
Bush thinks it's more impotent that they study ID.
I like that word choice. Particularly considering that he wants them to study abstainance as well. :-)
Cheers,
Ben
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #218,094
8/8/05 9:50:04 AM
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You're not alone :-\\
Darrell Spice, Jr. [link|http://spiceware.org/gallery/ArtisticOverpass|Artistic Overpass]\n[link|http://www.spiceware.org/|SpiceWare] - We don't do Windows, it's too much of a chore
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Post #218,107
8/8/05 12:09:56 PM
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Apparently it goes back to this poem.
[link|http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poem2296.html|John Greenleaf Whittier (1807-1892) - The Barefoot Boy]. 1 Blessings on thee, little man,
2 Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!
[...] My guess is that that poem was as popular as some references to Macbeth are these days. Cheers, Scott.
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Post #218,106
8/8/05 11:49:08 AM
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If you must know...
I had a very corny English teacher in 9th grade. Puns were her speciality. Another joke she told:
Mussolini, Mao Tse Tung, and Lenin went to Heaven. Saint Peter let everyone through.
Then suddenly he said, "Nope, wait a minute! Hold the Mao".
Groan!
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,647
8/10/05 3:03:40 PM
|
ICLRPD (new thread)
Created as new thread #218646 titled [link|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=218646|ICLRPD]
[link|http://www.runningworks.com|
] Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
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Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
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Post #218,108
8/8/05 12:17:23 PM
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Hey...Y'all fergot sumpthin'!
Ok...punchline: "Great Scott, don't tell me you have a set of clubs in there too, sweetie!" (slight edit, addition of the word "too") I'm waiting!!! Peace, Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,285
8/8/05 10:08:24 PM
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Gotcha!
I can't believe no one knows this joke :)
Okay, there's this guy on a desert island. One day, a beautiful woman swims ashore in a wetsuit and tells the guy he can have anything he wishes.
"Well, first of all, I would like a good cigar."
She reaches inside her well-endowed cleavage to produce a fine Cuban.
"Will that be all?", she asks.
"How 'bout some fine Kentucky Bourbon?"
Again, she reaches in and out comes a slender flask of Kentucky's finest.
Giving him a sultry look, she lowers her gaze and asks,
"Now I'd like to give you something you've really been missing."
To which he responds,
"Great Scott, don't tell me you've got a set of clubs in there too, Sweetie!"
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,304
8/8/05 11:03:52 PM
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:-)
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Post #218,335
8/9/05 8:28:06 AM
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dont get it
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
|
Post #218,414
8/9/05 4:28:36 PM
|
Shirley, you jest!
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,433
8/9/05 6:48:45 PM
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and dont call me surely
Just call me Mr. Lynch \\
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #218,441
8/9/05 7:15:23 PM
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The fog is getting thicker
and Leon's getting laaarrrger!
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Post #218,504
8/9/05 10:34:15 PM
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Guess I picked the wrong week...
...to stop sniffing glue.
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,555
8/10/05 9:11:25 AM
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What's our vector Victor?
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Post #218,556
8/10/05 9:22:57 AM
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S'mofo butter layin' me to da'BONE! Jackin' me up..tight me!
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Post #218,558
8/10/05 9:29:10 AM
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Ooo- very good!
You smooth jive-talkin' son of a gun, you.
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Post #218,560
8/10/05 9:34:57 AM
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Jive-a** turkey ain't got no sense anyhow.
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,575
8/10/05 10:43:56 AM
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Ever see a grown man naked?
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Post #218,585
8/10/05 11:16:39 AM
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Do you like movies about gladiators?
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,600
8/10/05 12:08:18 PM
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Have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
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Post #218,604
8/10/05 12:22:01 PM
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Duuuude...?
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
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Post #218,619
8/10/05 1:07:15 PM
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Where's my car?
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,623
8/10/05 1:25:09 PM
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Lurkin LRPD: It seems far too little Thorazine is sold and
used in the USA nowadays.
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Post #218,633
8/10/05 1:56:18 PM
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Saaaawwweeeeeet!!!!!!!!
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,759
8/11/05 8:35:21 AM
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Whaddaya make of this, Johnny?
Friends and colleagues know not to ask me that anymore :)
Two out of three people wonder where the other one is.
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Post #218,766
8/11/05 9:15:26 AM
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Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl!
I just saw this movie again over the weekend- that's why it's so fresh.
My kids were a little apprehensive thinking mom was watching another crashing airplane documentary. I told my 10 yo it's a funny movie so he laughed when I laughed but he didnt get any of it. "Mom, why is there a balloon man in the cockpit? Why are they slapping that lady? It's mean. How come those black men are talking funny? Why is that guy talking about naked men? Are they really gonna crash? That Johnny guy is weird....." Whoosh- right over his head.
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Post #218,775
8/11/05 10:03:33 AM
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Heath, Nick, Jerrod...theres a fire in the barn!
Its my fave of all time.
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,776
8/11/05 10:17:54 AM
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A bit of packing tape should take care of this.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
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Post #218,818
8/11/05 2:08:00 PM
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I give. What's that from?
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Post #218,824
8/11/05 2:27:03 PM
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Ummm. Okay LRPDs don't really need to be explained.
Otherwise it isn't sarcasm.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
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Post #218,829
8/11/05 2:34:44 PM
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Didnt know you were jumping to LRPDs.
Thought we were still doing movies. Put your turn signal on when you change topics like that. Whoosh...
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Post #218,830
8/11/05 2:45:10 PM
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That sound you just heard...
was a Paradigm Shift1 without a clutch.
1== a fundamental change in approach or assumptions.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
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Post #218,834
8/11/05 3:19:15 PM
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Same movie
MCrosky : Ease off Rex, he hasn't flown for years, its not his
\t fault. It could happen to any pilot.
Johnny : It happened to Barbara Stanwick.
MCrosky : Don't push him too hard, give him a break. You gotta
\t remember who you're dealing with.
Johnny : Nick, Leaf, Jerrod, there's a fire in the barn.
Striker : He's right, I can't take the pressure. I was crazy to
\t think I could land this plane.
Elaine : Ted, you're the only hope.
Striker : I don't care. ( Plane starts to nosedive again ) I don't
\t have what it takes. They'd be better off with someone
\t who'd never flown before.
MCrosky : Bad news, the fog is getting thicker.
Johnny : And Leon's getting laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrger.
and same subject matter as the Barbara Stanwyk comment that he made one line prior. Barbara S played the matron on a show called [link|http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/big-valley.htm|"Big Valley"] (a Ponderosa style show) and had 3 sons...one played by a young Lee Majors. Her son's were Nick, Heath and Jarrod. If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,854
8/11/05 4:15:06 PM
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Damn, you're good!
You win.
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Post #218,857
8/11/05 4:27:51 PM
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I've seen it a few dozens of times
The absolute last gag I caught (there are sooo many) was when Rex Kramer was leaving his house. He comes down the stairs, wife hands him his hat, they flash to the private getting mauled by the dog, then come back to a shot of only Rex's reflection in the mirror while he adjusts his hat.
The then says "let's go" and >steps out of the mirror<. I never caught him coming out of the mirror...at least 2 dozen viewings and I consistently missed it. I was genuinely excited by finding "the last gag".
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,861
8/11/05 4:50:42 PM
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Someone should write a book
===
Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
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Post #218,880
8/11/05 6:11:56 PM
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I'd need a ghost writer.
Or a human grammar-checker....
You available?
Next best option is probably CRC :-)
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,794
8/11/05 11:21:32 AM
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Just wait, they will thank you
now that my kids are teenagers, they love not only the Airplane movies, but the Naked Gun stuff as well.
You have much laughing in store for you, liebschen. And what's even better, they will expose you to stuff you never heard of. Invader Zim used to be on Nickelodeon, but it got a leeetle too weird and Nick cancelled it. I had never heard of it, but my 18 yo introduced it to me. Whoa!
So, keep up the good work! And don't forget the Mel Brooks and Monty Python material. Those are an important part of good mental nutrition. LOL
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,817
8/11/05 1:54:31 PM
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When do I put my clothes onto the lower peg?
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Post #218,819
8/11/05 2:11:33 PM
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What's wrong with a kiss, boy?
Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate.
---------
Every man should heed that advice.
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Post #218,855
8/11/05 4:17:58 PM
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Amen, Sistah! :-)
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,878
8/11/05 6:08:48 PM
8/11/05 7:06:59 PM
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Wha-aat.._______(Ah - found the John Barth quip)
?? Ya Mean That - - - these modrin whelps never learned how to do That. Either? Damn.. that explains a lot of other stuff. Nope, I lied - Love.It. You are far from the first to bemoan the persistently robotics-grade osculatory eptness of your average Puritan-spawned wannabe-male. The shortened attention span + transistorized joystick obsessions might well have intensified? that cultural ineptitude. What a thought.. Eeeuwww :-\\ A poster comes to mind, if I can find the wording.. Nope, can't. Seemed to moi a definitive illustration of Virtuosity VS artless imitation. ~~ then: Naive ineptness has its charms,
as does technical proficiency,
. . .
. . .
But what you really want is,
Sincere virtuosity.Aahhhh, Ver\ufffdnica, wherefore art thou now?Edit: "My feeling about technique in art," he told an interviewer in 1968, "is that it has about the same value as technique in love-making. That is to say, on the one hand, heartfelt ineptitude has its appeal and, on the other hand, so does heartless skill; but what you want is passionate virtuosity." {sigh} My synonym skillz don't come close to the just-Right words, again. He's paid better, though. But then, the range of this artistry is wide, one is So-pleased to discover, while -sadly- noting that some females skipped a lot of their arpeggio and recapitulation practice, as well. Not surprising this.. to anyone who ever {shuddered} through one '05 viewing of Elimidate, ie 'How to Be Monster-enough' to outGro$$ even Teen-TV. Yeah, they'll learn a Lot from that moose-pit. Still, feedback confirmed all-along that there's no contest for which half wins the Booby Prize for ineptitude er, hands down. But Hey! - ya could teach (some.. of) 'em, (less'n they be techno And lost-in-head most all the time). Buy a Russian bride, indeed. Never any decent training, simple as that.
New venture?
Osculation Therapy for Idiots\ufffd - Remedial
Edited by Ashton
Aug. 11, 2005, 07:06:59 PM EDT
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Post #218,886
8/11/05 6:20:09 PM
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Never seen "The Meaning Of Life"?
"Oh God, you are so Huge. We're all so really, really impressed down here."
Regards,
-scott anderson
"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
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Post #218,888
8/11/05 6:26:59 PM
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G'ah
yes I have.
/me re-combs his hair after having that last one go over his head so quickly.
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,902
8/11/05 7:02:58 PM
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Whew. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.
How could you guys miss that when it so nicely followed the clothes on the lower peg bit? Arent you all supposed to be into Monty Python, with your blanc manges and what not?
Must have been the word "clitoris" that caused your neurons to momentarily stop firing. Sorry. I'll be more careful in the future.
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Post #218,903
8/11/05 7:04:32 PM
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If you have to explain it, it isn't sarcasm anymore.
--
[link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg],
[link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwethey
[image|http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg||||]
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Post #218,905
8/11/05 7:11:48 PM
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yeah, yeah, yeah........
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Post #218,928
8/11/05 10:24:55 PM
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Hey Girl,
At least WE know what the hell we're talking about. :-D
I meant to put in the part:
"You don't need to go stampeding on the vagina" in the Amen Sistah post, but was running out the door and didn't have time.
An aside: a friend of mine actually named her kid "John Thomas". At the time, they were living in Australia. She was told never to use his full name in public.
(chortle)
Peace,
Amy
Illegitimi non corborundum.
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Post #218,882
8/11/05 6:13:03 PM
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Then y'all stop...
..wearing red underwear ;-)
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #218,992
8/12/05 9:57:48 AM
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swap spit, no clit got it
"the reason people dont buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfy, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #219,001
8/12/05 10:38:54 AM
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A poet for the ages!
[link|http://www.runningworks.com|
] Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
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Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
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Post #219,003
8/12/05 10:58:33 AM
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Yup, ages 7 - 13
===
Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]
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Post #219,025
8/12/05 12:17:37 PM
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:-)
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #219,056
8/12/05 2:50:41 PM
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s perv/poet
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Post #218,820
8/11/05 2:14:34 PM
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:-)
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Post #217,890
8/6/05 9:47:35 PM
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Ahhh... that's what I thought :-p
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Post #217,653
8/5/05 9:05:54 AM
8/5/05 9:39:04 AM
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oops
[link|http://z.iwethey.org/forums/render/content/show?contentid=217667|http://z.iwethey.org...?contentid=217667]
Illegitimi non corborundum.
Edited by imqwerky
Aug. 5, 2005, 09:39:04 AM EDT
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Post #217,657
8/5/05 9:17:26 AM
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:-)
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Post #217,655
8/5/05 9:10:56 AM
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ROFL!
[link|http://www.runningworks.com|
] Imric's Tips for Living
- Paranoia Is a Survival Trait
- Pessimists are never disappointed - but sometimes, if they are very lucky, they can be pleasantly surprised...
- Even though everyone is out to get you, it doesn't matter unless you let them win.
|
Nothing is as simple as it seems in the beginning,
As hopeless as it seems in the middle,
Or as finished as it seems in the end.
|
|
