Ross, are u forgetting your own youth ...

Post #159,266 by dmarker 6/9/04 4:56:08 PM Reply	Ross, are u forgetting your own youth ... This kid needs support despite the rupture in family harmony. Everyone will grow past this episode & adding more heat to the situation is not going to make it any easier. At 17 she is legally capable of making her own way in the world even if so young. In just a few years she may well have a partner have her own family. Turning a manageable crisis in to an unforgetable sore doesn't do anyone any good. Any therapist will point out a very clear 'cry for help'. Doug M _________________________________________________________ "Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!". -- Leonardo Da Vinci
Post #159,274 by deSitter 6/9/04 5:49:58 PM Reply	Re: Ross, are u forgetting your own youth ... Of course I do, and my sister's, and that's why I say the only thing that will work in the long run is maximum force applied while she is a minor. Life is hard, you have to be harder. Coddling irresponsible behavior in kids is our main problem over here. We treat our adults like human garbage, but our kids can do no wrong. What she has done is plain old self-centered, self-indulgent, hurtful WRONG, and she should be made to understand it. -drl
Post #159,288 by dmarker 6/9/04 8:09:02 PM Reply	Re: Ross, are u forgetting your own youth ... Never said to 'coddle' her. Just not to make the matter worse that it already is. She knows she has behaved badly. Rubbing it in might have some impact on a 13-15 y.o., but this lass is 17 & quite capable of walking. Police can't force her home any more than parents can. Again, she is facing a big lifestyle change & as tough as some 17 y.o.s think they are the fears of such a major change can cause an odd reaction. The descriptions given thus far of her 'reaction' seem classic. Does she really 'hate' her mom or pop (of course not), does she dislike her brothers/sisters enough to want to disrupt their lives, again the obvious answer is not at all. Is she doing any of this - yes. Is she being selfish - certainly looks like it. Is she still a growing young girl with a personal crisis - Yes. Without knowing all details, self would be inclined to tell her to work out what she wants to do then come in to discuss. Minimal fuss, no codling, just some support & understanding. It means taking a risk but it is amazing how responsive kids of that age can be if they suddenly see you are willing to let them take control. Hand the problem to her & stand by to help. Cheers Doug _________________________________________________________ "Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!". -- Leonardo Da Vinci

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