The 'diminished capacity' alternative
Your Honor,
May we preface our remarks by directing your attention to the indexed e-mails and other documents - submitted as evidence in the perpetrators' own words, of complicity in a conspiracy of long standing.
We find that the principles, including but not limited to Messrs. Gates and Ballmer, suffer genetic defects making their socialization impossible. Nothing they or the other named lietenants might agree to - would make any slightest alteration in their now ritualistic automatic behavior.
We propose they be barred from involvement in any way, via any known or yet-to-be developed means of communication: in any profit- or power- making activities (in the broadest possible connotations of both words). This after paying in cash and liquid assets, the proposed fine - determined as a token payment for the individually wasted time of repairing intentionally crippled products. (This sum to be distributed worldwide in approximately ten million payments of $1000 each; some persons may qualify for more than one such payment)
A further assessment is aimed to compensate the survivors of Mr. Ed Curry and listed others: those whose property was appropriated for no payment at all. It is stipulated that the initial payments are to be funded by reducing the net worth of each of the 20 named principles to 5% of each's present assessed value; balance to be paid from general Corporate funds.
Note please, our recommended oversight measures re the next operators of this dysfunctional business.
The named co-conspirators are to wear an approved GPS and vox-microphone equipped transceiver at all times, so that their compliance with the 'non-involvement' clause may be enforced OR any one, or all of the perpetrators may surrender selves for confinement (in which case the attachments need not be installed).
We recommend that the monitoring continue for 10 years, and that the penalties for any further illegal acivities discovered - shall result in confinement in an appropriately electronics-free containment. Finally: defendant Gates may never again utter the word innovation, while in the presence of any other human being, nor whine audibly except in presence of a mate.
We waive the other 97 provisions, in a spirit of generosity - but reserve the option of imposing these, should the perpetrators be found to have broken their parole agreement.
US DOJ
