Explorers

>>Surely, right after the military aps shall come - the toys.
Next: trade in those mere 7300# Explorers for Hum-Vees in every driveway. I can See it...

And why not? If the energy's there without burning up that Ole Debbil Oil...

Speaking of debbils, 'specially in details, some terminology might be handy.

Explorer is a relatively small version of the Diabolic Utility Vehicle. Later, Ford noted that much attention was given to the Chevrolet/GM Suburban (which is notably larger), and bethought themselves. The result was Expedition and its fellow demon Navigator, which are both much larger than Explorer but still smaller than Suburban.

That last proved problematic. GM produced a series of ads, featuring Dallas Cowboys and other sizeable critters trying to contort themselves into the back seat of Expeditions, making no bones of the fact that the Ford product was *gasp* not big enough. Those ran on the teevee around here for quite some time, causing Ford mavens to gnash teeth. What to do, what to do, especially since in areas where those ads ran, Suburban stayed comfortably ahead in the sales figures.

And of course, being sufficiently Vile for all normal Diabolic Purposes, after spells and incantations [featuring, no doubt, sacrifice of a Green to the God Petroleum, though I've no inside knowledge] Ford brought forth Excursion. Even I, who believe that all promoters of little bitty cars should be required to drive from Ft. Stockton to San Antonio and back, with the seat belt buckles welded closed, in August, refer to the new vehicle as the Ford Excessive. It's big.

But the Suburban ads featuring Great Big Guys sitting in comfort in the back seat... disappeared. And people do buy Excursions; I've seen several on the roads around here. Mostly, though, they seem to regard it, as I do, as a sort of reductio ad absurdum of the whole concept; intimidated by the sheer bulk, they back off to something *slightly* more sensible.

So if you're going to complain about DUVs and 7300 lb. cars, use the right name: Excursion. By comparison, Explorer is almost a VW --

I simply have ingrained.. that pic I saw, listing Explorer spec and that 7300 lbs made my permanent memory space.

Also, having briefly owned a '70 Buick Riviera (purchased for a song, from an ashamed writer of er backpacking! books) - at the height of the last - not next - umm gas crisis, I had experience. This car taught me not to lump ALL Detroit iron into category, "evil-handling POS". I deemed its mere 5000 lb. weight bloody excessive at the outset; nor does that assessment fail with passage of time. BUT -

In fact it *was* a rather OK-handling gran turismo kinda beast, 130+ top speed (!) if you can imagine driving a house down the road, over the ton.. good ventilated disks that worked and - handling! sufficiently able to - goose the ass-end of an offensive TR-driver, around a tight series of S-curves. In brief - not a bad tourer IF.. $/gas/survival ideas, had never entered one's pretty-little head.

So - to add *FIFTY PERCENT* to that mass !! get an evil-handling Excessmobile, sold only for the Walter Mitty image of driving up Mt. Everest and assaulting delicate tundra everywhere..

Well I just natch latched onto Exploder as being: *excessive enough*. (But I had realized that Lincoln had created perhaps the Last Gasp of the LookAtMe Asshole Clan, but should have remembered that, nothing Does exceed like excess, especially in Murica [gawd, Especially in *Texas* ?!])

{sigh} I guess when image is all, and you don't have an inferiority complex; you Are inferior: why nothing.. seems quite.. Big enough (?)

Izzat it?

Ashton Marketing very-Ltd.
our heart's not in it, but WTF:
we're whores too.

Post #7,574 by Ric Locke 9/3/01 3:11:21 PM Reply	Explorers >>Surely, right after the military aps shall come - the toys. Next: trade in those mere 7300# Explorers for Hum-Vees in every driveway. I can See it... And why not? If the energy's there without burning up that Ole Debbil Oil... Speaking of debbils, 'specially in details, some terminology might be handy. Explorer is a relatively small version of the Diabolic Utility Vehicle. Later, Ford noted that much attention was given to the Chevrolet/GM Suburban (which is notably larger), and bethought themselves. The result was Expedition and its fellow demon Navigator, which are both much larger than Explorer but still smaller than Suburban. That last proved problematic. GM produced a series of ads, featuring Dallas Cowboys and other sizeable critters trying to contort themselves into the back seat of Expeditions, making no bones of the fact that the Ford product was gasp not big enough. Those ran on the teevee around here for quite some time, causing Ford mavens to gnash teeth. What to do, what to do, especially since in areas where those ads ran, Suburban stayed comfortably ahead in the sales figures. And of course, being sufficiently Vile for all normal Diabolic Purposes, after spells and incantations [featuring, no doubt, sacrifice of a Green to the God Petroleum, though I've no inside knowledge] Ford brought forth Excursion. Even I, who believe that all promoters of little bitty cars should be required to drive from Ft. Stockton to San Antonio and back, with the seat belt buckles welded closed, in August, refer to the new vehicle as the Ford Excessive. It's big. But the Suburban ads featuring Great Big Guys sitting in comfort in the back seat... disappeared. And people do buy Excursions; I've seen several on the roads around here. Mostly, though, they seem to regard it, as I do, as a sort of reductio ad absurdum of the whole concept; intimidated by the sheer bulk, they back off to something slightly more sensible. So if you're going to complain about DUVs and 7300 lb. cars, use the right name: Excursion. By comparison, Explorer is almost a VW -- Regards, Ric
Post #7,581 by CRConrad 9/3/01 6:38:11 PM Reply	So Ford owns both big browsers? Things to make you go Hmm...
Post #7,588 by Ashton 9/3/01 7:37:41 PM Reply	Bow to superior research! I simply have ingrained.. that pic I saw, listing Explorer spec and that 7300 lbs made my permanent memory space. Also, having briefly owned a '70 Buick Riviera (purchased for a song, from an ashamed writer of er backpacking! books) - at the height of the last - not next - umm gas crisis, I had experience. This car taught me not to lump ALL Detroit iron into category, "evil-handling POS". I deemed its mere 5000 lb. weight bloody excessive at the outset; nor does that assessment fail with passage of time. BUT - In fact it was a rather OK-handling gran turismo kinda beast, 130+ top speed (!) if you can imagine driving a house down the road, over the ton.. good ventilated disks that worked and - handling! sufficiently able to - goose the ass-end of an offensive TR-driver, around a tight series of S-curves. In brief - not a bad tourer IF.. $/gas/survival ideas, had never entered one's pretty-little head. So - to add FIFTY PERCENT to that mass !! get an evil-handling Excessmobile, sold only for the Walter Mitty image of driving up Mt. Everest and assaulting delicate tundra everywhere.. Well I just natch latched onto Exploder as being: excessive enough. (But I had realized that Lincoln had created perhaps the Last Gasp of the LookAtMe Asshole Clan, but should have remembered that, nothing Does exceed like excess, especially in Murica [gawd, Especially in Texas ?!]) {sigh} I guess when image is all, and you don't have an inferiority complex; you Are inferior: why nothing.. seems quite.. Big enough (?) Izzat it? Ashton Marketing very-Ltd. our heart's not in it, but WTF: we're whores too.

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