I would go with IBM DB2; however, IBM does not seem to have made up its mind on the pricing yet last time I checked. At one point it cost more than SQL Server, at another it cost less, and I got a "We'll get back to you" when I asked them how much 20 client licneses would cost. IBM just isn't the same company that it once was. Someone should either put it out of its misery, or buy the f*cker out and get rid of all the pinheaded brain-dead MBA managers and marketers than ruin the company and replace them with computer geeks/nerds like us.

that because MySQL runs Slashdot and Kuro5hin, my coworkers have two good reasons not to go with it because they use Slashdot and Kuro5hin as bad examples of how to run a database and how to run an almost anarchic forum with little to no security where script-kiddies, trolls, and spammers have multiple accounts and basically run the f*cking place? Where are the moderators? If the moderators won't do their job, f*ck, I'll volunteer and clear the whole house up and disable the accounts of the script-kiddies, trolls, and spammers. Then with the remaining 10% of the users left, the database performance should be a lot better with 90% of the "noise" gone.

Trolls/Spammers like "RobotSlave" run Kuro5hin from his Adequacy.org website because Rusty and company are too much of whimps to do anything about it. Give me access and "RobotSlave" and his 300 Adequacy.org accounts that originate from the same IP will be "Inactive" by blocking the damn IP! I'm getting tired of seeing him promote Adequacy.org on every other post that he makes. I'll write up the damn TOS agreement if K5 won't, but chances are that RS and his 300+ accounts will vote it down.

Where the fuck did I say that I want to use Microsoft? If so, why the fuck am I asking for alternatives?

When I assign some asshole who deserves a "0" on K5 for trolling or spamming, he assigns "1"'s to all my comments so that I cannot assign him any more "0"'s. Thus removing my ability to moderate posts that violate guidelines. Then when I fight back and assign "1"'s to his comments that are obvious trolls or spammings, I get called a crapflooder? Is it K5 or the WWE, I am confused?

Yes I know that K5 or /. are not databases; however, they do have a DB engine behind them. I am not confused over that fact. I didn't bring them up, my coworkers did. I'd use fucking mySQL right now, except that I have two coworkers standing in my way bitching at me because there is no stored procedures, etc. I could show them a working Linux system; however, I find myself unable to get one working except a vary old copy from 1995 or 1997 when I did Linux for that small company that I listed on my resume that I had started in 1995 to 1997 with my business partner who still owes me $9000USD in stock because I sold the business over to him and he still owes me for it. Yes thank you I know how to fucking read a man page, yes thank you I know how to get Linux working and I am fucking rusty a bit from not running a working Linux box for a few years. If I keep getting treated like a newbie every time I have an issue and ask for help, I'll fucking respond in this way. I am fucking tired of being a nice guy, I want to be Mr. Hyde for a while because Dr. Jeckle does not appear to be getting results.

for not giving out more details and being psychic enough to know that you wanted my MAC address, the DNS servers, CPU ID of my chip, serial number, social security number, mother's maidnen name, blood type, astrological sign, date of birth, right tumb print, Iris Scan, sperm sample, urine sample, notory public seal of aproval on a loyalty oath to the Open Sourced Community, and $15 sent to your Paypal account before you could help me? :)

I apeciate your help. When you guys yell and scream at me instead of saying "Norm, I need the details of your hardware. Video card, motherboard, CPU, etc." it really hurts my feelings. My feelings have been hurt a lot in many areas of my life, so I am learning how to fight back again.

If and when K5's moderation system gets fixed, I will go back. If you guys are nicer to me, I might go back sooner. :)

Thanks for the offer of sending and shipping a machine to me, when I talked to Peter about that I was called a whiner.

Details of my test system:

System Name: ADAMA

CPU: Pentum MMX 200Mhz

Motherboard chipset: Intel i430VX

BIOS: AWARD 4.51 11/10/97

RAM: 64M

Video: S3 VirgeDX aka 86C375/86C385 BIOS 1.01

Hard Drive: Western Digital 6G IDE Hard Drive.

Monitor: Generic EMC 17" model 772 (KVM Switch for four systems, same monitor, same serial muse, same keyboard)

Linux: Red Hat 7.3

What else do you wish to know, friend? It has a 24X IDE CD-ROM drive, 3.5" floppy, Realtek 8029 PCI Ethernet 10Mbit card, no audio card, nothing else I can think of. Someone sent me the Red Hat 7.3 CD because the CDR images that I burned kept complaining about a "Media Error" even at 2X or 1X burn speeds. So this is the original Red Hat 7.3 Evaluation CD. Supposed to work right out of the box.

Problems: "X Windows" software aka XFree86 is unable to load. Reports "Missing Fixed Width Font" and sometimes a "Missing Screen" and then exits back to the command prompt. I'd give you the whole screen text, if I hadn't gotten fustrated by getting called a whiner and low level formatted the hard drive and installed NT 4.0 Server instead. Yeah GRUB would not go away, so I commited a sin by low level formatting the hard drive, and not learning why GRUB all of a sudden was a Freddy Kruger or Jason Vorhees that I could not get rid of and kept getting up every time I thought I had killed him.

Version of MySQL used: 3.32.51 someone mentioned a 4.0, I assume that I need to go grab me a new tarball? I will be running it both on Windows and Linux, if possible.

Stored Procedures, oh heck yeah, so much easier to just call "sp_getemployees" than building your own SQL String with 16 tables, 32 indexes, and 48 selectable columns. Can't imagine why anyone would want to run "sp_getemployees" instead of about 6 pages of SQL Code in their SQL Queries? My job with the Lawyers required me to do that, they bought [link|http://www.cmsopen.com|CMSOpen] a database that just loves to have as many tables as they can in one database. Then they wonder why SQL Server 6.X is bitching at me that I cannot add any more tables to my queries? Oh come on Norm, it is only one more table, why can't SQL Server handle it? Then I have to talk to my boss about what a view is, and why I need access to create one to get around the table limits, etc. By the way, does MySQL have Views now? Sort of like a big virtual table that you can link smaller tables into, so that it is accessed like one big virtual table instead of 16 or less of them?

My coworkers tell me that "MySQL is good for web pages, but not Enterprise Level apps that need the extra features that MySQL lacks." So how am I supposed to respond to that? Ok, now we have table locks with 4.0, what else? I'm downloading a new copy, after all what is the point of DSL when you can't use it and a CDR burner? ;)

my coworker stopped putting on the pressue and cut down on the control. Things are starting to get back to normal. Finally I can sleep a little bit more.

Not like I was keeping it a secret from you guys. I just followed the rest of you here from the InfoWorld Forums. I expect a lot of you already have my psychological profile and can predict the next time my depression kicks out a cycle or two. :)

Cable on IWE, to Cable4096 on Ezboard. Then Nking on Ezboard, then Orion Blastar, then couldn't make up my mind, accidentally logged in as one of my older accounts, was Nking again. Orion, etc. The got to ZIwe and here I am now. Just don't ask me about my IWETHEYTWiki acounts. :) Right now the only one that works is NormanKing, and it is the only one I use. Of course on some areas of the Internet or BBSes, they think that my real name is a handle. Go figure!