Post #432,546
2/10/20 6:38:06 AM
2/10/20 6:38:06 AM
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The sentiments are much appreciated.
It could be argued I ought to be travelling more, anyway, since I work for a travel company. :-)
But anyway. The reason I was glad it was a burial was because it felt like a proper unhurried farewell as the last words were said and he was lowered to his literal final resting place. A funeral that ends with a cremation generally ends with the curtains closing in the front of the chapel and that's that. But instead, we had a reasonably pleasant walk of maybe 300 metres from the chapel to the gravesite. We were relatively unrushed by the gravesite whereas we only had 45 minutes in the chapel.
Wade.
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Post #432,548
2/10/20 8:26:23 AM
2/10/20 8:26:23 AM
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There's a variant on cremation.
My mother instructed me that she did not want a funeral or a viewing, that she wanted to be cremated. My mom was fairly stubborn about this, but I did ask her, "Well, how about if we have a memorial some time after the family's had a chance to grieve your passing? After all, the funeral isn't for you, is it? It's for the surviving family." She agreed. So roughly two months after her death, we had a memorial. A large turnout of the family was present and although there were some tears, most of the event surrounded sharing stories about my mother's life (many had never been known or heard but by a few family members) and more than a few laughs. My wife and kids then invited everyone to her house where we had a good old southern barbecue (my mom lived in NC). bcnu,
Mikem
It's mourning in America again.
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Post #432,559
2/10/20 3:20:16 PM
2/10/20 3:20:16 PM
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My grandfather's wishes ...
He had several dogs. He said when he died to stick a bone up his ass and let the dogs drag him away and bury him. That wasn't legal in Pennsylvania ... we checked.
His wife died first, and after the service he didn't show at the gravesite. She had told him, "Don't come to the grave to say goodbye, I won't be there. Go fishing, I'll know where to find you."
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Post #432,604
2/12/20 8:11:56 AM
2/12/20 8:11:56 AM
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My sister's memorial is near the end of June.
Regards,
-scott
Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson.
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Post #432,552
2/10/20 12:16:48 PM
2/10/20 12:16:48 PM
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Ah, gotcha.
Yeah, with a cremation the bit in church is shorter and the ending may feel somewhat abrupt. There is of course (at least here in the Nordics) another ceremony to lower the ashes -- but that will of necessity have to be after burning, cooling down, raking out the oven and gathering up the ashes, etc, so usually not even on the same day.
The last three [=all the?] funerals I've attended have been cremations, but in at least one of them I only attended the first part... So, I should maybe have got that it was for practical reasons. But since I didn't, thanks for answering. --
Christian R. Conrad
The Man Who (used to think he) Knows Fucking EverythingMail: Same username as at the top left of this post, at iki.fi
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Post #432,560
2/10/20 3:54:42 PM
2/10/20 3:54:42 PM
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I was surprised to learn it was to be a burial.
Most people go for cremation because burial plots are expensive and it's not a large cemetary. But Mum and Dad had purchased a double plot some years before when the cemetery had a sale (!).
We had considered a thanksgiving service afterward where we wouldn't be constrained by time but the logistics got too difficult.
Wade.
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Post #432,569
2/10/20 8:48:57 PM
2/10/20 8:48:57 PM
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My belated condolences as well
The last time I went back to Belgium was for my stepdad's funeral. He was cremated but we had the urn at the ceremony so the entire process just flowed without any rush.
The final act, next day, was to spread his ashes at the local cemetery according to Masonic rites. Unfortunately for the hapless funeral director, it was the foggiest day of the year and we could barely make him out standing a few meters in front of us. When he asked my Mom in which direction she wanted the ashes spread, she responded "East, in the direction the sun rises". Poor guy about sank in the ground himself :-/
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