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New Won't be here later this week
At approximately 5 AM Sunday morning (Mother's Day) the police came to my older brother's door to tell him that his 17 year son was killed in a car accident. He lives with his mom (the ex-wife) out near Galena, was visiting his girlfriend, driving home on a county highway after midnight... Police surmise he was tired, nodded off, and drifted into the other lane into the path of an 18 wheeler.

It will be a closed casket funeral.

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He called me at 6:15 AM, totally distraught, waking me up, to deliver the bad news.

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2 years ago in January, at the luncheon after the funeral for my best friend of 35 years, his father took the microphone and thanked everyone for their presence and emotional support, then said, "Now, I'm gonna get drunk because no man should outlive his children."

Now my brother will know that kind of pain.

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While walking the dog yesterday evening my wife and I ran into one of the neighbors also walking her dog. We told her of the tragedy and she replied, "well, it was God's plan."

WHAT! THE! FUCK!

What kind of "plan" can any god have that takes away a 17 1/2 year old boy? A "C" student in a small town high school, played on the football team (but wasn't a star position or outstanding athlete); in other words, really hasn't had time to achieve anything in his life yet. So what kind of plan would say to that kid, "Your time's up, you're done"? I know she meant well, but come the fuck on. It just was worse than saying "I'm sorry", or better yet, nothing at all.

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I'll shut up now. I'm rambling.




"Chicago to my mind was the only place to be. ... I above all liked the city because it was filled with people all a-bustle, and the clatter of hooves and carriages, and with delivery wagons and drays and peddlers and the boom and clank of freight trains. And when those black clouds came sailing in from the west, pouring thunderstorms upon us so that you couldn't hear the cries or curses of humankind, I liked that best of all. Chicago could stand up to the worst God had to offer. I understood why it was built--a place for trade, of course, with railroads and ships and so on, but mostly to give all of us a magnitude of defiance that is not provided by one house on the plains. And the plains is where those storms come from."

-- E.L. Doctorow
New :-( Condolences to you and your family.
New know the feeling, regards to your brother
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free American and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 55 years. meep
New Sorry man...
understand the angst... (blind) Christian Faith is one thing... but spouting "ahhh God's plan" stuff IMO, is inexcusable and offensive in any case.

Make sure your brother is well looked after... he'll need it.
New Condolences, Linc.
I know that isn't enough. Incredible pain for a parent. My younger brother died at age 25 and my folks (mom's still alive) never fully recovered.

The fundie Xian deity is a loathsome callously murdering rapist of lower life forms. IOW, unworthy of worship.
New Sorry to hear. Best to all.
-Mike

@MikeVitale42

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Benjamin Franklin, 1759 Historical Review of Pennsylvania
New Very sorry to read it
I can't pretend to understand that kind of pain, I know the gut check when I read it is a pale imitation of the real thing.

Go hang out with your brother. It'll suck, but you'll know it'll be sucking the best way possible, as compared to him toughing it out without you.
New As above,
words don't exist that can help much, but nobody knows if lighting a candle can/cannot affect our strange maya, here.. (beats listening to the Robed ones, for me.)

Candle lit.
.hr

Law above fear, justice above law, mercy above justice, love above all.
New I'm very sorry to hear that, Linc
It always sucks when a young person dies, no matter how you slice it.
New Condolences Linc.
Regards,
-scott
Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson.
New My sincere condolences
New So sorry, Linc.
Hang in, he'll need a shoulder. Good luck.
New Sorry to hear as well. Condolances to the family.
New Thanks, everyone




"Chicago to my mind was the only place to be. ... I above all liked the city because it was filled with people all a-bustle, and the clatter of hooves and carriages, and with delivery wagons and drays and peddlers and the boom and clank of freight trains. And when those black clouds came sailing in from the west, pouring thunderstorms upon us so that you couldn't hear the cries or curses of humankind, I liked that best of all. Chicago could stand up to the worst God had to offer. I understood why it was built--a place for trade, of course, with railroads and ships and so on, but mostly to give all of us a magnitude of defiance that is not provided by one house on the plains. And the plains is where those storms come from."

-- E.L. Doctorow
New Closure
Had to deal with TSA and traffic both outside and inside airports, but it was something that just had to be done.

Even though Kevin and the ex have had a bitter divorce, they managed to be civil to each other and make all arrangements without getting into a fight (although several times she openly accused him of causing the accident - I guess saying stupid shit out loud was part of her grieving process). Of course, she still dug the knife in by demanding to take home most of the live plants that were sent to each service.

They had a wake Thursday out where he lived with his mom in the NW corner of the state. I guess the funeral home knew that it wouldn't be able to accommodate the expected number of people so they arranged to have the service at the local high school gym. Kyle said that he guess around 300 people showed up out there, which is pretty damn good for such a small town.

Friday we had a wake for our side of the family near Chicago. Lots of mom's friends from church came out (she's been involved with Council of Catholic Women, a service organization, ever since we moved to that parish in 1966) and even some of her monthly poker night friends came out. Most of the neighbors still around since we moved there came - good thing mom introduced them to me cause I wouldn't have been able to pick most of their names out of a lineup of 2.

Kevin has owned a motorcycle for years and got into a riding club several years ago. A couple of them showed up mid afternoon; half an hour later around 5 came in, and then around 6:30 pm 30 of them showed up en masse. Kyle was pissed because they all were dressed as if they were going on a ride, but I told him, "They're here to support your dad; don't get bent because of how they're dressed, be glad they're here to support him."

Turns out that the club membership is mainly ex-law enforcement people: former local cops and county sheriffs; state troopers; and a few are ex-FBI and ex-DEA. All of that helped because for the funeral procession Saturday morning they called in a few favors and got us a 3 car police escort - 1 to lead and 2 to block off intersections while we rolled through. My father-in-law talked briefly to one of them after we arrived at the cemetery and was told by the cop, "Based upon the number of cars I counted, I'd guess that the procession was between 3/4 and 1 mile long." One squad car led it, followed by either 9 or 11 pairs of riders from my brother's cycle club (I wasn't focused on getting an exact count), then the hearse. Two cars were next containing Kevin and the ex, then I followed with my mom, and then about 45 cars of family and friends came behind us ... and the school bus.

A school bus. Can you believe it? Friends of Cullen's got the school to let them use a bus so that they could come to the wake Friday and the funeral on Saturday, a 6 hour round trip. Saturday's high was 90, so they rode 6 hours in an uncomfortable bus with no air conditioning. That's really saying something, isn't it?


brief news story: http://www.wifr.com/...es/151345435.html

obituary: http://www.legacy.co...7652184&fhid=6268

one friend's tribute: http://www.youtube.c...tch?v=MpkdY35rEzE




"Chicago to my mind was the only place to be. ... I above all liked the city because it was filled with people all a-bustle, and the clatter of hooves and carriages, and with delivery wagons and drays and peddlers and the boom and clank of freight trains. And when those black clouds came sailing in from the west, pouring thunderstorms upon us so that you couldn't hear the cries or curses of humankind, I liked that best of all. Chicago could stand up to the worst God had to offer. I understood why it was built--a place for trade, of course, with railroads and ships and so on, but mostly to give all of us a magnitude of defiance that is not provided by one house on the plains. And the plains is where those storms come from."

-- E.L. Doctorow
     Won't be here later this week - (lincoln) - (14)
         :-( Condolences to you and your family. -NT - (Another Scott)
         know the feeling, regards to your brother -NT - (boxley)
         Sorry man... - (folkert)
         Condolences, Linc. - (mmoffitt)
         Sorry to hear. Best to all. -NT - (mvitale)
         Very sorry to read it - (crazy)
         As above, - (Ashton)
         I'm very sorry to hear that, Linc - (jake123)
         Condolences Linc. -NT - (malraux)
         My sincere condolences -NT - (dmcarls)
         So sorry, Linc. - (hnick)
         Sorry to hear as well. Condolances to the family. -NT - (scoenye)
         Thanks, everyone -NT - (lincoln)
         Closure - (lincoln)

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