The kid requested it. He's 5. He feel left out, gramma takes big sisters to church and he wants to go. Mom is NOT supportive, but she folded.

I was sitting in the 3rd row of a mostly empty church, most of the people were in front of me, standing by the water. I'm usually on "best behavior" when dealing with the family church. Not my family, the wife's, and the old folks are SERIOUSLY into it.

Priest: Know what this means KIDS_NAME!?
KIDS_NAME: Uh????
Priest: It means you are a CHRISTIAN (sweet sing song) now, not a HEATHEN (deep f'ing snarly emphasis on heathen)!!!!

WTF!?!? I couldn't stop it. My arm went up high, my middle finger higher, and it stayed there. I was waiting for the priest to lookup and make an eye contact sweep.

And some time later (1-5 seconds), M turns around and sees me.

Ooops.